I reached out to you
And you smiled
You offered your support
I just needed a boost
Dad, don't help me stand
"You can't stand on your own"
I turned around
And there!
I was standing
All by myself!
A soft pull on the back on my overall
A feeling of betrayal
Dad, I said don't help me stand
As though he heard me
He let go
And I fell.

Exceptional memory

Brian, you’re so boring.

So you keep telling me.

Why can’t you be more spontaneous.

Did I or did I not bring you in a daffodil.

You brought in a dandelion.

Think of it as a gesture.

That’s what I mean, it's a token, now Mary's boyfriend robbed a bank to buy her a ring.

That's the guy who’s doing ten years.

That's besides the point.

So you want me to rob a bank for you.

No, I want you to be more like Tasman's boyfriend, he went on top of a moving truck with a banner saying, I love you Tasman. So romantic.

That was the guy who died when the truck went under a low bridge.

That’s not the point.

And another thing, at the funeral, why were your friends calling me Brent.

I was trying to make you sound sophisticated.

Oh you did that alright, Brian Crude became Brent Crude, your idiot friends thought it was hilarious.

Well, how the hell was I to know it was an oil company.

He thought to himself, you want something romantic, I’ll ****** well give you something romantic.

Why did you give me a giant Teddy bear? This is what I mean! Jist think for two seconds, will you.

Two days later

Erm. What's this?

If I didn't know better, I'd think that it's a letter.

Ha-ha. It's addressed to the teddy bear: "Only for teddy".

Well then you should give it to teddy.

Don't be silly, a stuffed animal can't read. And it's your hand writing.

Well I'm sorry but it's between me and Teddy.

#later that night while he was out, she just couldn't help herself.

"Dear Teddy,

I hope you're well. I'm sending you this letter because as we discussed earlier, I won't be home tonight. I wanted to make sure you'd take good care of my girl. Just remember, she likes:

- warm cuddles
- chocolate
- chick flicks
- long conversations
- kissed on the forehead
- roses

I knew you wouldn't be able to pick up some of the above so DHL is delivering the chocs, Eat Pray Love the movie and roses tonight. Be sure to be home at 8 pm.

I expect you to take your responsibilities seriously. One wrong cuddle can make her over think all night. I better not find her over thinking. You know how special she is to me.

Best regards,

Brent"

A Paul Gaffney& Lily Nurmi production.

If it wasn't for my fair looks
Would I ever have known
The pleasures of
Being harassed on street
And not just by strangers

If it wasn't for my ***
Would I ever have known
The infinite degradation
Of the female body
And all that comes with it

If I wasn't able to push
An infant through the birthcanal
How would I ever have known
How weak the fairer *** is
Was it not Freud himself
Who said that women were
Built to sit

Yes Freud that's what wide hips are for.

If it wasn't for all the silenced voices
Of the women before me
How would I have known
To simply accept being
Labeled "weird"
For having an opinion
And something to say

If it wasn't for the constant threat
Of being rendered speechless
Powerless
How would I have known
Not to make eye contact
While speaking to people

If it wasn't for my gender...
I mean your gender
And all it's glorious wars
Massacres and genocides
How would I have known my place

He had a tattoo on his head, it read, failure
She had a tattoo hidden, somewhere totally forbidden
Not much hope, he would see them both
So Michael, life *****, you’re feeling out of it, can’t go on bla de bla de bla
So whats the future
Michael- Me topping myself
I can help there, the express train comes through in thirty minutes, should only take you ten minutes to get to the station.
Michael- Are you telling me to jump in front of a train
Yes Michael
Michael- Right, *******, that’s what i’ll do then.
Helen- Well doc, love your therapy, should I just go straight to the window
Call me Drake, and no Helen, what I would like to do is make mad passionate love to you
Helen- Is that not against your hippocratic oath
Only if Michael comes back
Helen- You expecting him back then
Yes, in about thirty minutes, so we better get started
Helen- You want to have *** here and now
Yes, if you don’t like pleasuring yourself, I’ll do it for you
Helen- How do you know I don’t like pleasuring myself
Because your mother told you not too
Helen- How the hell did you know that
You just told me
Helen- You *******
Good news Helen, your mother was wrong, you should pleasure yourself as much as possible, even better with a partner
Helen- Do you get punched a lot
I’m a fast runner
Helen- Were you serious
Never know now Helen, I hear Michael coming back
Michael- Couldn’t do it, I’m a failure at that too
Have you ever done a driving test Michael
Michael- Yes passed first time
I’ll be doing my fifth test next week
Michael- So you’re a failure too
No, let me explain.
The first test I took, I went through a red light. Didn’t pass
Second test, Learned from the previous, went over roundabout instead. Didn’t pass
Third attempt, learned from previous, emergency stop. Didn’t pass
Fourth attempt, learned from previous, couldn’t reverse park. Didn’t pass
Michael- So what you’re doing is, eradicating failure, or part failure, knowing that eventually you’ll pass
When I did my medical exam, I knew I was going to struggle at one bit, but when I got the paper back, it said failed, that’s all I saw
I understand what you’re saying now, if I did that exam again I would pass.
Helen, I think you’re slightly nuts, Drake, but you do cut through the bull. Though, If Michael had jumped in front of that train.
No chance of that Helen, they’re on strike
Michael. Drake, was your dad a seafarer then
No, he just liked a particular comedian.

What’s wrong girl life getting you down
The burden of it all
Not like the old days when life was easy
We had it all
Now it’s all responsibility
Work and sleep
Do you know something
I can't remember the last time I saw you naked
Can’t remember the last time we had fun
Why don't we have a weekend away
What do you say
Life's too short to work it all away
What do you say
Let's just do it
Get away
It really is peaceful here
You choose well
Brought your favourite flowers
If I’m not too busy
I’ll pop back next week
Clean your headstone
Maybe the week after
Too much on next week
Do you know
Someday I’m just going to give it up
This is no kind of life
Can’t remember the last time I saw you
Did we have fun
That weekend
You went away
I was working.

You need a little diplomacy:

You're Tammy's daughter, right?
Yeah.
Hi my name is Eric, I'm 28. May I ask your mother for your hand.
Dude it's 2006 and I'm 17, I can't get married
but go ahead and ask, she'll roundhouse kick you out of the building
It's ok we'll wait a year.
Can I come and watch you ask?

You need patience

Because the guys from F&B;
Are picking up the trays
And they've pressed
On every single button
And need at least 30 seconds
In each floor
That's 5 minutes before the elevator comes.

And everyone knows you:

"You know you're just like your mother"
is he picking a fight
"Hi Mona Lisa"
***
"What time do you finish"
stop asking and tuck in your shirt

And you always smile:

Wiping fingerprints off a glass door
"Excuse me, pay I pass?"
"You know what, I dare you"
One look that says
"Feet up"
And the sporters are easy going
And when their garbage bags weigh
About 20 kgs
They'll take down their own thrash
Because they're "tall and strong"
And you're not.

And the strangest things happen:

"Can you two stop having *** on the piano?"

And you learn to connect the dots

"Andy's going to **** you"
"Yeah"
"What are we going to do"
"I have leftover doughnuts. Andy likes doughnuts"
"Oh you're fine."

And at the end of the day
When you go down to the foyer
And find a taxi parked in the middle
You don't ask how did it get in here
Because you turn the hell around
"I can't even process that"

An angel sitting on a great stone
With a playful smile watching life unfold
Gazing upon the roads unraveling
The birds chirp along
The heat of the sun on her skin
"Look!" Holding a ladybug
And God smiles and replies "you look"
Pointing ahead
Her breath stuck in her throat
A blush on her cheeks
Eyes wide open
She takes in the view
The most beautiful creature on earth
Ahead stands her reflection
The other half, the missing piece
"Go on" God encourages her
She approaches and quickly laughter echoes in the forest
They speak, share, touch and eventually become One
The intence joy, deep true happiness
Comfort and safety of home
Like the light comes from the inside
For the Source is Love
And Love is the Source of Love of the Source
"Come home now, there will be time to play later" says a whisper in the wind
With an angry blush she looks up and asks:
"But then why did we come if we were only to be seperated...?"

"It won't last forever"

Reluctantly she grabs the hand of God
And walks away, tears in her eyes
For they can never be whole alone
And never fully alone
The deepest seperation is the one
One has within themselves
And if he was not a part of her
Then nothing was.