Perfectly painted
Oh so white
Those boys just fainted
Keep those **** tight

Perfect skin
With the perfect tan
Keep up your chin
They'll become a fan

You don't need love
Only fame
You'll rise above
They'll know your name

Bat those eyes
Watch them fall
Hear their cries
You make them crawl

Just remember
The Hollywood Pose
You're the next contender
Teeth, ****, and toes

I know he's out there
Somewhere looking for me
I'm waiting so patiently
But this wait is hard to bear

I'm reachin' out for someone
Does anyone hear my cries?
Reach me before sunrise
******* undone

Rescue me from this terror
Throw me out a line
I can't make another error
With you, everything will be fine

Please rescue me
Where is my Superman?
I need my Superman
I'm drowning in this sea

I'm waiting ever so calmly
I thought I saw you near
But it was just a dream I fear
I'm waiting ever so calmly

I can't let go
I'm in too deep
I'm just a doe
But I took a leap

I called for you
You came running

You grabbed me close
I opened up
My feelings you did expose

My smile won't fade
This love won't end

We are a team
Feel the rush
We'll reign supreme
This isn't a crush

They'll check my wrist
They'll look me in the eyes
I'll throw in a twist
They won't check my thighs

It'll be easier to cover
My ***** little secret

So easily hidden
No one will ever know
I've done the forbidden

I don't need a jacket
I wear pants everyday

When they see the blood
I'll blame it on my time
The blood will scud
My scars will be sublime

11:11 make a wish this night
Dream of something sweet and nice
You know everything will be alright

Say the words, say them now
Make this wish, don't you cry
Look to God, believe him now

You always tell me that time
"Close your eyes, make a wish"
Say the words, say that time

You wear it all the time
Hold it when you make that wish
11:11 that's our time

The smell floods my veins
I ache and cringe
My body flails and strains
Depression seeks its revenge

These pills can't hold it any tighter
If I try I just might explode
So much builds up like a fighter
My weaknesses my body has showed

It will use this against me
I tried to shut it out
It wasn't enough, I was too weak
All I have left is to plea
But I have to voice to shout

I tried my best to fight
It just wasn't enough
Now I hide in the night
This game is getting too rough

I tried to feed it pills
My body now lies in a trench
I just wanted some thrills
Now depression seeks its revenge

We found her note
This was unexpected
It had just one quote

She thought life was worthwhile
Or so it seemed
With a smile
She always beamed

Never we thought her
We just couldn't believe
The clues we didn't infer
We should've lifted her sleeve

It's hard to say good-bye
Why didn't she just talk
We could've held her high
But instead she chose to walk

We found her note
"This isn't worth it."
That's all she wrote

He lives under my bed
And he sleeps on the couch
Even when he's fed
He's still kind of a grouch

He'll take one at a time
Or maybe two or three
He won't pay a dime
He thinks they're free

He hasn't a name
But I call him Bob
He thinks it's a game
When my pens he does rob

He hasn't any manners
He doesn't say please
He takes my pens from my planners
And then he flees

What does he look like
If only he would ask
I wish he would go on strike
And take off that mask

I'm lying on the floor
I can't stop crying
I've locked the door
I feel like dying

My tears are still hot
I want to see my wrist bleed
I don't want it to clot
Just poor at a slow speed

Can you see my pain
You can try to phone
I found the perfect vein
I won't stop 'till I see bone

The blade, if I can reach
I'll give in
Won't practice what I preach
I have to sin

I can't move
I can see the bone
The blade, can you remove
You left me alone

It's never a pretty sight,
My eyeliner is all a smudge,
These tears I tried to fight,
When you were too quick to judge.

Darkest times never come at night.
With your love I fly so high.
Now I cry for nothing seems right.
I don't want to say good-bye.

You swept me away with your charm,
You blew me away with your love.
Why was it you I had to harm?
God please help me from above.

I wanna be with you through it all.
How can I prove that I'm the one?
On my knees I will crawl,
Just to be your only one.

I want to show my body off
Oh so naked and free
Watch those boys *******
Showing skin high above the knee

I want to feel their touch
Feel love in those minutes
Get to kissing and such
Here there are no limits

I want to be an icon
I want that spotlight
Be played like a pawn
Even if it's not right

I want to see their eyes
When they slip inside
They'll treat me like a prize
I'll never become a bride

This is my fantasy
I won't be a bore
I'll learn their anatomy
I want to be a *****

Tell me you love me
You don't know what tomorrow brings
The sun isn't free
So treasure the little things

Find the light
At the end of the tunnel
Don't take flight
Your happiness, don't pummel

You can't dwell on the past
Keep your eyes straight
Moments will pass you fast
Just believe in fate

The hourglass is glued down
That's a fact
Don't frown
Keep that smile in tact

Time is permanent
If you're alive
You're fortunate
But you need to thrive

What if I showed you
Could you even process
The truth you would chew
My life you would try to bless

I would show you in privacy
You would scream it to the population
My tears I will choke silently
While I stand in humiliation

Why am I different
You couldn't handle the truth
You are just ignorant
My life you don't need to sleuth

I do what I want
I live my own life
Why do you taunt
I'm holding a knife

Why did you fight
My sadness grew
I'm leaving tonight
I'm too much for you

I'm so far away
I'm not coming home
Not today

I found a better place
Somewhere I can smile
I just need my space
For a long long while

Here I am content
Here I hear no lies
Here I see the light
Here I can vent
Here I need no disguise

We don't need to speak
Here I belong
Forever in a week
You were wrong

No need to roam
You won't find me
And I'm not coming home

Little boy why you callin' me baby?
You act as though I'm already your girl
I believe I said it was a maybe

Little boy there's things you should know
You're movin' a little fast for my taste
All I ask of you is to take it slow

Little boy I don't want the lies
If I hear them it will be hell
I'm not the type of girl you can hypnotize

Little boy just tell it to me straight
All you got to do is be a man
And we'll see if you're in my fate

Scatter my ashes
You can't keep them here
I know you've got me in stashes
Just let go my dear

Keep our memories
Say good-bye to my body
Please be at ease
Say good-bye to my body

I'll save you a place
Up here in heaven
I'm surrounded by grace
Up here in heaven

No need to worry
I found my way home
Clear your eyes so blurry
There's no need to roam

Scatter my ashes
You can't keep them here
I know you've got me in stashes
Just let go my dear

Try to find me
My lifeless body
Bury me under the tree
Look through eyes so foggy

Bury me fast
Bury me deep
My body won't last
Our memories you'll keep

Remember how I laugh
Remember my smile
Speak on my behalf
Bury me under a mile

Everything will be okay
I'm right here with you
It's just another day
You'll pull through

I am ready to say bye
You must agree
I won't cry
Bury me

I can only sit and watch you
I watch the blood poor
I don't know what to do
My feet are glued to the floor

What can I say?
What can I do?
There you lay,
How do I save you?

Take my hand
Open your eyes
This isn't the end
Take off your disguise

Hear me out please
Love is what I give
This moment you must seize
Your life you must live

Beaten and abused
***** and confused
With the promise of forever
The promise of love

I carry this load
I carry it to you
My wounds you sewed
My skies you made blue

They still haunt me
I'm still in pain
Please, set me free
I'm living in vain

I fought for the good
I died from the bad
If only you understood
If only a tad

I'm beyond repair
Please don't stare
Be my savior
Be my everything

Where to begin?
I'm full of things to say
But not sure if I'll let you in

I'll scream and cry if I want
I'll do anything to succeed
I'm not the type of girl to flaunt
All of these you should believe

I have many friends and
I know all of my haters, but
Do I trust you? That depends

I can stand here all day
You can stare all you want
I don't care what you say
So go ahead and taunt

If you want to know me
But sit there and talk behind my back
Then just leave em be because
Courage is what you lack

She is so strong
Not afraid to admit
When she does wrong
She will not throw a fit

She is tough
But oh so sweet
Happiness she will bluff
But never will she admit defeat

She stands so very tall
You won't see her fall

She won't let you see her tears
She has up a guard
She won't shoe you her fears

Even when she can't take anymore
She will stand above that floor

She can find the light
In the sadness of the day
She won't give into the night
She ignores the grey

She stands above the rest
She won't frown
She is blessed
She won't breakdown

I'm standing on the ledge
It's what I must do
I never took the pledge
I'm sorry to all of you

Ready to face my fears
Ready to seal the deal
Ready to stop my tears
So I eat my last meal

Facing my worst nightmare
I do this in front of you
Carrying out this last dare
Forever closing my eyes of blue

I need to set myself free
I'm falling down so fast
Please don't try to catch me
This breath is my last

I don't understand you anymore.
Everything felt so right.
It's never been like this before.
Why are you hiding in the night?

Are you giving up on our love?
Are you shying away from the light?
Do you need help from above?
Do you feel nothing is right?

My dear love take my hand.
We'll make it through the dark days.
Baby don't feel ******,
This is probably just a phase.

Remember that I love you.
Remember that I care.
Remember I'm always here for you.
Remember with you my life I share.

I found your clothes
And your little pink lunchbox
Why was it you they chose
Of you, nobody talks

How old were you
What was your name
I wish I knew
Who was to blame

I hope there wasn't pain
I hope it didn't last long
Maybe your name was Jane
Did you see them come along

Why do they do this
They take peoples lives
Take a girl from bliss
Using their knives

I hope it's better up there
Away from those woods
What happened wasn't fair
I wish it was me, instead, in the woods

Just get in the car
Let's drive away
To somewhere really far
Where night meets day

When we run out of gas
That's where we'll stay

I can't stand this place
Nor can you
We'll leave without a trace

We can start new lives
Like people in the movies do

Please just take my hand
Together we'll flee
Together we will stand
Runaway with me

Dear Misery
Leave me alone
God lead me home
Don't forget about me
Don't let me suffer slowly

You've taken so much out of me
Don't leave me by a rushing stream
Don't take me where I can't breathe

My bones are starting to break
And my veins are starting to burst
This pain I just can't fake
My life you have cursed

I have nothing left to give you
Just let go of my hand
My body is going home

Your face is starting to fade
I can now go back to sleep
Step back and take a look
I can't see you
Dear Misery

The late night phone calls
The random sweet texts
Watch who falls
Into loves great depths

We smile like it's nothing
We speak as one
Together we have something
Who's going to run

Together we can walk
But all we do is talk

I know we feel the same way
If we keep this bottled up
One will surely stray

We can't ever let it end
But I can't keep you as just a friend

I can feel you near
I can see into your heart
Listen up my dear
We don't want to part

A story more beautiful than a dove
This story can't have an ending
This is love
So why are we pretending

Embarrassed faces don't give,
Sinking into a ****** death,
Show real love next time and
Start feeling the open passion.
Stop the natural fear and,
Sacrifice the stress.

When I hear it I can't deny
How much I love it so
I release a relaxing sigh
And move my body to the flow

It's a part of me, everyone can see
This so called "noise" relieves my pain
It let's me be so free
It's the only thing that keeps me sane

I love to hear the beat
I move my body to the sound
While everyone else takes a seat
I move my hips round and round

All day it calls my name
Waiting for me to get up and dance
It tries to play a game
It gets me to take a chance

This is just me
Oh how I love this so
It makes me feel free
Try moving to the flow

I miss you all too much
Look down from up above
I'm waitin' by the door
Won't you come home my love?

I sit up in our bed
I listen for your car
I don't let my eyes close tight
Why'd you go so far?

I can't forget your face
You are all I see tonight
Do you hear my plea?
"Please come and be with me."

Let's hold hands one last time
If you can't come to me
Then I'll just come to you

Would you hear me,
If I screamed in your ear?

Come inside my mind tonight,
Will you love me in the morning?

I''m falling into an abyss.
Catch me if you can, and
Give me one last kiss.

I've already said good-bye,
Did you hear me?
I feel like I can fly.
I feel so free.

If you wait around forever,
I'll surely bring you down.
A promise of forever,
When you start to drown.

I've started descending.
Too far deep,
There's no defending.

I'll be your angel,
I'll watch over you dear.

I started drowning,
Without a warning.

*Written on May 15, 2013

Is anybody out there
Are you stuck in the cold
Are you reaching for air
Don't you dare fold

Do you need somebody for you
Can you breathe
I am here for you
Come find me

If you're scared
Just please, hold on
If no one has cared
It is I you can count on

I'll be your protector
I'll be your friend
I won't be your objector
I won't leave when it's the end

I'm only a stranger
Trust me if you dare
I won't put you in danger
I promise, I care

I paint it on everyday
Nobody could ever tell
I will never say
Of my personal hell

I'm a little insecure
But you can't break me down
This smile isn't pure
But I won't wear a frown

I'm the Queen of fake smiles
But I'm also my own jester
It stretches out for miles
And it's made of polyester

I want this nightmare to end
I'm running out of paint
It's not a cool trend
Everyday I have to repaint

Looking at the mess I made
I don't make a sound
I lay down my blade
I have to stand my ground

I need you now
More than I've needed anyone
I'm ready to take that vow
I promise I won't run

If you don't love me
Tell me now
If you want to flee
Then just say ciao

If you want a little more
Say it with your eyes
I don't care if I go poor
I'll sleep with the flies

I give it all to you
Every last bit
We'll always pull through
Every last fit

I'm ready to start our life
We're stuck like glue
I can be your wife
I need you

Oh, my dear,
Come to me.
Hear my screams,
Set me free.

I'm trapped,
Inside my mind.
I haven't snapped,
But I've gone blind.

Help me see,
I've lost my way.
You won't believe,
What I'm about to say.

I'm stuck inside,
Once more.
I can't be your bride,
You'll find me on the floor.

I lost my voice,
When I needed care.
I had a choice,
It wasn't a dare.

I've no more air,
I took my last breath,
But to you I swear,
I'll see you after death.

I'm saturated with the thoughts
I'm soaked to the core
My brain the pain clots
Just treat me like a chore

Leave me in the sun
I'll dry out this disease
Don't let me have any fun
I've been living on my knees

Don't lend me any help
Let me fend for myself
If you hear me yelp
Get the gun off the shelf

Find a spot in the front
For all the world to see
I won't pull a stunt
I won't try to flee

I have not learned my mistake
I still try to die
Push me till I break
Just leave me to dry

It witnesses my pain
It masks my tears
Watches blood flow from my vein
Implants my brain with fears

It chases away the light
I want to escape
It gives me quite a fright
This feels like a *******

It lays me down
With my tears
Me, it tries to drown

It is my superior
It chooses my fate
I am inferior
It has the right bait

I'll never be lonely
With it by my side
It saves my life, if only
My happiness it will override

I try oh so hard
All of us do
We have up a guard
We try to change your view

We aren't good enough

Do you even see us
Do you even care
What if we put up a fuss
Do you care what we wear

We are only human

You sit there and judge
Ten points off
For one single smudge
This life is tough

I just wanna be called pretty

Four walls
A roof
And those days waiting for your calls

500 days
And you're still not here
You said always
But it's been over a year

First it was Thanksgiving
Then it was Christmas
I feel guilty
For being unforgiving
But you chose to miss this

I'm not the only one
We all shed tears
We hide it in the sun
And we'll hide it for years

You left us here
You went alone
You chose to disappear
Now we're all grown

Please come back home

*Written May 15, 2013

Let's pretend we're the only ones
Tell me your secrets and fears
I'll be the one to catch you
If you just trust that I am here

I'll show you a way out
I'll protect you from harm
When you need to scream and shout
I'll be your lucky charm

Please don't think you're invincible
I'm here to lend a hand
Please don't play invisible
It's time to take your stand

You told me to hold on
So I sat there and waited
But you never came along
My scars have bled and faded

Lost in a world of my own
I fight the day to see the sun
No people around me but still not alone
Just look at me and watch me run

I'll find a new life to live
I'll find a new way to thrive

You said you would be here
You said you would come
You filled me with so much fear
You never did want to come

Lessons were learned from this
Hatred was buried
Don't give me another kiss
Don't say we should get married

I'll find a new life to live
I'll find a new way to thrive

Go cry in the rain
Go live out that cliche
Show the world your pain
Take a minute to pray

Bloodshot your eyes

Nobody hears your cries
Believe those lies

You cry so unattractively
You're breathing so hard
Change your mood drastically

Confuse the dead
Smile instead

Look for the good times ahead

Turn it around
Show the world your pain
Get off the ground
Cry in the rain

Dancing all day
Dancing all night
All the grey goes away
And everything turns so bright

Dancing , I must say
It is, my get away

When I dance I feel so pure
Sweat streaming down my face
The music is my lire
I will not leave a trace

Dancing, I must say
It is, my get away

We've got something
Something really special
I'm not asking for a ring
And I won't bedevil

We both agree
We have something
We can both see
This isn't a fling

We can take things slow
There is no need to rush
We can let our love grow

This isn't just a crush
But slow is good
And you don't want to rush
But I would

My heart soars
This feels fine but
I'm not yours
You're not mine

Long narrow path of dirt and gravel
When I need to clear my head
You are my way to travel

That warm summer air
That sweet smell of cedar
There is no better place, I swear

Miles and miles of road
Enough road to clear my mind
My secrets I have showed
When I drive that road to unwind

I have one hand on the wheel
And the other out the window
This road is all I wanna feel

Sadly I reach the end
Same time tomorrow
Spent with my only true friend

The reason I'm cry.
The reason I'm happy.
The reason I cannot die,
And why this poem is sappy.

All my thoughts are of you.
Holding onto my pillow tight,
Wishing to see those eyes of blue.
Everything just feels so right.

I love playing with your hair,
While I'm laying in your arms.
Our love has so much flair,
Because of all your charms.

I love to see you smile.
I hate to hear you cry.
We've been together for a while.
Our love will never die.

The pain doesn't cease
The blood won't stop pouring
In my palm, a permanent crease
From the blade that I carry

I don't trust myself
Neither should you
I'll turn my back
I'll turn away from you

No bandage can cover
No pill can hold
You'd like to be my lover
But I don't think you can handle

You want me to share
My entire life story
But there should be a rating
Because it's kind of gory

I'll try to open my heart
But I can't make and promises
This time I'll be smart
Because my wounds are so deep

They threatened to **** me
I wish you were there
They wanted to **** me
Why weren't you there

I needed protection
I tried to ignore
I needed your affection
They pushed me to the floor

I cut so deep
So many pills I took
I still weep
At my wrist don't look

All of this I hide
Where are you now
The blood hasn't dried
I cut just now

I need you
Where is my father
Days left I have few
This is your daughter

From the very first day
I had to have you
You looked my way
And I just knew

Your smile caught my attention
Your words drew me in
You left me in suspension
Now I’m happier than I’ve ever been

I’ll never leave your side
I’ll never hide away
Even if you died
I would never betray

I’m here for good
I’ll never leave
Like a good wife should
I won’t decieve

Take this as a dedication
Of my love to you
I have no hesitation
When I promise my love to you

My dreams are better than reality
Don't wake me
Turn away from your morality
Leave my body be

For me there was no hope
Don't wake me
I just couldn't cope
The light I finally see

Maybe I'm with a god
Maybe I'm in a hell
Maybe I was a fraud
I'll never tell

Dry those tears
Don't wake me
I've had me years
Say good-bye to the lifeless me

I don't know where I'm going
Don't wake me
My blood has stopped flowing
Bury me under an oak tree