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A thousand moments we took for granted
In the blink of an eye a year flies past
With a yawn spanning decades until suddenly
You wake up alone, not sure why
The diaspora college brings upon us is tragic
Shattered ties and broken hearts litter the land
Forced out into a world lacking compassion
We become adults far too soon
Wandering our way through the desert
In search of life, and love
and happiness
Hoping to find meaning
Desperate for a reason to keep going
Tired and hungry, lost and alone
The nights, they are
So long, and
The days so
Cold
My thoughts are a
Jumble, in this mess of
A head, darting
Back and forth, back and forth
Alternating between manic
Happiness and soul crushing
Depression as I sit on the
Bed where I last saw you
Walk away from me, away from me
Wondering why death seems
So tempting an escape and
Love seems so
Terrifying a fate
The past refuses to rest
In its shallow grave
As the memories return
A cascade of thoughts and emotions
Pouring into me as I contemplate
The feel of your hand in mine
As the city streets passed us by
Walking to nowhere
So happy, to be walking
to Nowhere

Your scent lingers just beneath my skin
Traces inhaled with every breath
Rose perfume with every yawn
Peanut butter kisses with every sip
Those green eyes so piercing stared
Into my soul, so fragile in love
The feel of your hair on my arm
Curled up in bed, with a book
Leaves me dreaming
Wondering
If you were the one
And stubborn,
And somewhat self absorbed.
But you're gentle,
And careful,
And difficult to ignore.
So why can't I call you out on your annoying tendencies?
Do you feel the same way about me?
Do you rest your head on your pillow, and reminisce on the times we had?
Do you ever believe in fate?
Or that someday we can escape,
From this world we've grown too fond of?
Do you read between the lines,
And figure out my lies?
Do you ever cry?
Was there a time you fell in love,
With the simplicity of,
Something you can't describe?
Will you ever hold my heart,
Inside your arms,
And for once, tell me it's alright?
Because I can't forget the days,
When your face was not just a face,
But something so wonderful, I just could not describe.
Or will there be a day,
When all my dreams slip away,
And the home I created in your bed,
Will no longer be a home,
But a shallow hole inside your head,
Making you remember the times we spent,
Rather than forget?
The walls were blue or
Maybe, grey and
Your eyes were brown
Your hair, the same
The music so soft
An echo in my mind
The hours drifted slowly
The worst passage of time

My voice, once sure
Now hesitant and shy
My heart, once pure
Now broken and dying
In the moonlight through the window
You looked at me like a ghost
As you told me, so cruelly
I was not the man you loved the most
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