We are only as close as we allow.
It's true we've gotten closer and it's true we will never be together.
It's true; Love is the ultimate unreasonable activity.

It's adorably cruel.

I dare not speak of my undesirable heart
Pushed by a radio button
Flooded with radio waves
Electricfiying my disinterest and the sums of ambivalent

Is too early to measure my heart's desire
I shall not speak.

***, hot water, whisking,
smoothly blended, tea bowl, spring,
tea garden, thick, quiet.

You'll be strong
You will be

After all you will go thru
You will be

You will look back
And you will believe

And I will pray
I will pray for you
In the midst of it

My home is a mess
literally and emotionally
I think my dad secretly hates me
Just like how I’ve hated my dad all these while
Absent father, no emotional support
My mother care too much, and always invalidates my emotions and experiences
What’s the point of giving birth,
If you’re not going to support the child?
Why was I even born into this unhealthy family
***** for me

I never thought I could swim within pressure from the weight of the ocean depth.
Each dive opens to a danger atmosphere.
Clear blue, deep blue, I am swimming within pressure.

I can swim in the ocean depth.
This is my sport.

First you introduce as pop
Then you let him know you are indie

Afterwards tell him how much you love him thru jazz and how you shiver in electro

Sometimes you can be insane you drop to hard-style bass and you scream in nu-metal
Then you turn to rock cause you're feeling better
Once you've calmed yourself chill-waves settled in your ambient

You do your last ballad dance and you end with a folk bow

*Slowly fading back into synthesia dream pop

There's a sharp object in my heart
And its not coming out
Damaging my brain as it hurts
Physically

Mentally *******
Making me wonder
How did I survive
Till these days
To discover such mishap

And how it is possible to
Have come this far
Not knowing
Such suicide object
Could have been placed inside my heart

Probably have slit
Causing great
Internal bleeding

Causing blood clog
And all sorts
To this damage, hurting with uneasy

How will I survive?

Go pass the phase of a good taste
Go pass the haze and you'll see taste
In a while, even if it takes a while

Bridge the gap
Instead of letting the haze
Stink the taste

Keep tasting it bit by bit and
Never forget how it taste
Right in the haze
In a while, the taste will be clear

Refine and savouring

tell me that it is lovely
tell me i don't need to see
tell me that it is enough
tell me you’ll protect me

and give me the courage to believe in this

Everything is embarrassing
You’re always at the back of my mind
I almost died of embarrassment

Everything that you’ve experienced was not the real experience of who I am
I’ve been wanting to tell you what you’ve experienced but it never happened

I never had the chance
I am sorry for our loss and I know we could never turned back in time
But if you ever wants to connect again,
You are in it for a wild story, maybe another podcast.

Adjusting to the clock time, hanging upon the body fluid that flows from the ocean and sky reflecting the moon and sun of time.

She smiles so bright but inside she can't hide it

many times i disagree with myself
but
many nights i find myself with the same impression
that the nights are the most beautiful hours of the time
... the quietest
... the stillness
you cannot find in a busy afternoon

The nights
Are the perfect company
For myself

but
many times i am still in denial that there is a perfect time for myself

You can treat me
to books
Literature to fiction
Any types of stories, interest

You can treat me
to pens
0.1 to BM tips
Various colours would be nice too

You can treat me
To drinks
Macha green tea to bubble tea
Teas and coffee are some of which I drink

You can treat me
To a day out
You and me
With silence in-betweens

These are the pleasures things
You can treat me

I wish you see through me. Like looking beneath the water. All you see was the reflection you picked up from the surface of the water. Nothing you see is quite like me. Needlessly, nothing was done for a deeper plunge.

Love is a silent expression.
Love is a gentle whisper.
Love is a hopeful reminder.
Love is above and within us.
Love is all and none.

I can.
I am creative.
I can create.

We couldn't grow together.
I am like wheat.
You are like ****.

Close friend could lead to a closed end.

Gentle soft Love, so quiet,
it's onerous to hear out.

Quieten oh life to hear out.
Take heart.

If I fall...
I might fall off...

Love is extravagant.
To her, Love is vague.
Love is like an ocean
and she is drowning to survive.

Life is a man.
Don't take life to heart.

Even for myself I run out of time even for myself
No time for you, where do I find time for you

It felt like a relationship that had sailed away...

Your Love once more.

My only wish is to die in your Love,
Quicker and every day again.

I don't wish for more time.
I don't wish for more money.

I wish to be more zealous.

We couldn't enjoy long silence together.
We couldn't enjoy long distance together.
We couldn't enjoy the idea of love altogether.

Loneliness is painful but that lonely man could not feel any pain.
He lied to himself and it was the most painful experience.

What happened to our friendship,
Was it a sunken ship?
It is still a mystery.

Dear cheese,

I love your cheesiness,
I love how you swag with your flavours.
I love how you can be dress in so many ways.
And I especially love how you melt when you touches my tongue.

Love,
Human

The world inside of me is astronomical for me to finish exploring.

You make me breathe too hard
You make me stop breathing

You make me breathe too deep
You make me love to hate
You make me cry and hurt too deep
You make me fall deep
You make me anticipate on ground zero

You make me sick
You make me work for love
You make me tired

You make me hate to love

I am not a worthless piece of art.
I am God's Masterpiece.

I am not self-made.
I am God-made.
I belong in Christ.

Vulnerable strokes.
Fine lines, uneven lines, thick lines.
All my flaws and imperfection, you can see.
Yet you told me it was beautiful.

Normal as appearance would look.
Insane as inside could look.

I am your work of art.
Your masterpiece.

I declare I’m a masterpiece.
If you say so, so it will be.
Only your truth matters.
PTL.

I can be your white-haired flower.
If you would be my age-old ***.
We will be together under the name of our Gardener's care.

Once this is written
It will be gone

Every other things
All on earth
Be gone

Tell me, what should I do
To the things be gone

What then should I touch?
As they all vanished, when I touched

Nothing to hold, nothing belong

A l    
             B       e
                                G

                                        o
                                            n

                                               ....

Always summer here
Heater broke down

Day and night,
Bitting air put the warmth out

Cold feet every morning

A year and counting
Tormenting early bright

Dreadful laving

Violet palms, skinny body
Unknown curse

I kept thinking that was me
But that wasn’t me
That wasn’t me
Who was I then
If that wasn’t me

I couldn’t comprehend
I couldn’t come to terms

It felt so real, all the thoughts
All the imagination, it felt like me

But it wasn’t me

You can't go anywhere else in this world

You need to be a dreamer who walks in reality

To know that dreaming alone

Won't walk you in reality

What you need is to

Walk your dream along

And falls in eternity, to know that going around

In life, is nothing about easy or difficult

Its about the process of every minimal details

Remember the suffering you will face

And remember the strength

You will be given to face the suffering

Who knows, you will be able to experience

Blessings in suffering

And find your joy in the process of living

And finally it is to realize "life is about knowing what to suffer for"

Also, dreamers don't stop dreaming, reality is about doing

Do what you dream and dream what you do
This is reality

shouldn’t be looking at your soul
right open in the depths of my eyes
lights shone between us
creating path to meet
from where we are

we are not destined
but you open your
eyes wide
looking for connection
right where the light leads
in this path

(off this light and end this sight)

One glance and you can see my dreams arranged admirably on my bookshelf in such a way that it looks like it's only for display. As of now.

As of now, a collector of dreams.
Some people say, never to tell your dreams...
As of now, I'm tired of dreaming.
Some people say, you will never wake up from your tired dreams...
As of now, dream on

We don't think about sleep.
We don't think about time.
We think about goal.

We are not machine.
We sleep with achievement.

are we suppose to be strangers now,
are we suppose to pretend
we don't know, when we see each other on the streets?

are we suppose to be strangers now,
because we're not even friends thru social media

are we suppose to keep this distance, away forever
keep our smiles to the other people

are we suppose to keep away these thoughts
that we were once so close together
but we've grown so old and cold apart

are we suppose to be strangers now
because it seems to me, you want to leave your past behind

you're the one who came into my life
now you want to leave me out of your life
*how could you be so nice to me?