I want to get this out my chest
I want to get this off my soul,
I want to fill that hole you left.
When you left me there, sitting at the table
I was blind.
See, Blind is how you left me feeling
Throwing out my feelings like garbage
Leaving me feeling empty inside, as you turned my heart inside out.
It tore into brittle pieces when you left me, sitting there that morning.
Leaving my door wide open behind you.
As you walked away from the breakfast table,
You left me there feeling like egg shells,
When you slowly poured my feelings, like yolk into the frying pan,
Just so I could make you happy.
Just so I could see the corners of your mouth turn into a bowl
Because as your breakfast,
I wanted to be the most important meal of the day
I wanted to know that you were full and content,
Without feeling any emptiness inside
And I wanted you to know, that you could always butter my bread

There was nothing left to say though
Because at an empty table
Staring at an empty seat
Was an empty memory,
Which used to turn my heart into heat
An empty future now lay in my sight
A future I no longer wish to think about
As I sit there at the breakfast table.
And now,
Everything is backwards,
Every breakfast I cook becomes burnt.
Every time, I’ll burn my hands when I look towards, where you used to sit at
Every time, I hear the crackling of eggs
Every time, I hear the gun shot that blew through my heart,
When the knocking of hands were trying to grab my attention.
All that grabbed my attention were the colors of blue and white.
And at first, I was puzzled, until I saw their ghostly faces, and no words were needed to be said, as I knew what they were there to tell me.
They were there to tell me.
No more breakfasts, would need to be made.
No more laughter, was there to be had.
No new memories, were to be filled by your smile
And as they stood there patiently waiting, for my brain to react,
To the news of what had happened.
I suddenly lost the will to stand as dropped to my knees.
And I realized,
No more mornings, were to be had, at the breakfast table.

I could have kissed you
up against the stained wall
when no one was looking
and the lights were shining neon.

I could have kissed you
walking up the granite steps
on the roof of the music building
when the stars seemed perfect
and I was drunk.

I could have kissed you on my cerulean sheets
with your tan arm wrapped around my bones
where the music was faintly dancing
and I realized you had lovely hazel eyes.

but I kissed you in the basement
where you held me without force
and the kisses were lyrical
as they trailed down my neck
I fell for the gentleness of your hands
and the sweet smile on your face.

She unaware, acceded to the invitation
his deeds would haunt her,
a restaurant and laughter
an  after kiss followed by her gnawing  expectation.
internalised, fear of commitment.
She in turn absolved  lingering impressions,
where bare stone walls only cherish
the wherewithal to survive future loneliness undetected.

You grab spiderwebs with your teeth

just to understand the detail

of something above you.

You only matter to you.

The Universe has more to deal with

than your problems that surround you.

So dust off your dirt you know as fear

and reform to the plastic reality,

we call life.

What are you now, cloud?
While I slept beneath an oak
You were shaped like carp.

I do not believe
In many things man has made.
Most of all - progress.

You,
make my skin tremble,
like a tidal wave,
Tossing my goosebumps off their course,
They were traveling down my spine
Heading south for the winter,
Until you made them wash ashore.
Making them wash their souls,
They cleaned up their act
As they prepared for the performance of a lifetime
They shaped up
You made them get in line.
Into the shape of a V
As they only had one direction to go
Direct as an arrow
They poured through my bones
My heart couldn’t handle all these emotions
So it died with these words
Ones
that I carry on my back.
Words, I’ll carry to my grave,
Buried deep beneath my skin
It breathes life them into them
Taking heavy breathes
Of a heavy heart
That sleeps only when its doors are closed.
Out of a deep hibernation, they awaken.
I’ve forgotten they even existed.
You must have clipped their wings,
So they learned how to swim.
Traveling in the only direction they know
Heading up the river
Knowing that going upstream
Is a hard road to travel
Gravity defies them
Pulling them beneath a layer of sweat
They drown in an ocean
Where tidal waves
are forever
about