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There are over a hundred ways
To capture a moment,
To freeze time for a split second,
To remember.
Others paint pictures,
Sketch memories.
Art is a good tool for reliving.
You can hear laughter through paint strokes.
You can cringe at the anger pencil marks can so vividly create.
And even subtle color choice
Can send waves,
Tsunamis,
Hurricanes,
That will wash
every last trace you have of today
And push
you back so deep into yesterday.
Art is an illusion.
But my sister liked to take photographs.
She was able to grasp with two hands
That maybe cameras
aren't too different from paint brushes.
Capture
Moments.
Capture
Memories.
But while art sheds off illusion,
There was something
Terrifying
Hair-raising
Heart-pumping
about the wholeness
of reality
photographs blew.
My sister captured images of me.
And even if you could see me
Laughing,
Snorting,
Wallowing in every form of happiness,
My sister could never really capture
me.
Something always seemed to
Go beyond the frame.
Photographs showed the world
The way I like to twirl in summer dresses
Or the way my hair looked like tumbleweed whenever it decided to imitate the wind
Or how I was always more comfortable smiling
With teeth.
If you stare hard enough,
You'd see that, yes,
I am an ugly laugher,
And the
Awkwardness
of my buck teeth flying everywhere
would distract you
From what I was laughing at.
Photographs are not the bigger picture.
Photographs can't show you
how I love indie music
Or how not-so-great I am at playing the ukulele
Or how I always save homework for later.

Seeing is believing, they say.
But don't ever
Not even for a second
Accept me
Wholeheartedly
With arms wide open
For who you see in the photograph.
I imagined this as a Spoken Word piece. I have no idea when I can recite it, or if I will ever, but this poem was begging to be written. This poem is about me, no strings attached.  :)
Just because you break
Lines in odd and obscure
Places.
Does not mean you are writing a poem.
No rhythm,
No rhyme,
No structure
Nor Metaphor.
Just a stream of consciousness
With an occasional literary flourish.
Now I am not one to adhere too close to the rules
But shouldn't this all be in one paragraph?
You were a simple bliss
Like a nighttime kiss
Love so surreal
Oh the things you made me feel.

Heartache and pleasure
Things to forever treasure
As I lie awake and reminisce
I feel my heart ache, for its you I miss.

Where will these memories go
Sweet and lovely as you know
Push them out of my mind
Disregarding the sweetness, so devine.

Goodbye my sweet lover
I'll give you space, no longer hover
Sweet serenity I say one final goodbye
Hope that we will meet once again, later in time
Why do I do this to myself?
I read it
I knew what it consisted of and yet I still read it
I've known about it for awhile
But, today it's like I needed to read it
My stomach has never been so tense nor has it had feelings that weighed so heavy inside
Why do I feel this way?
Why does it even matter?
In the end,
I needed to knock some sense into my own head
My thoughts were going to far, they were becoming out of control
In a way, it helped me
What tastes salty?
Obviously potato chips.
Obviously a Californa girls hips.
Your lips after your tears
What tastes sweet?
Obviously the candy shop
Obviously an affair with a cop.
Your kisses in the morning
What tastes refreshing?
Obviously a cup of water.
Obviously a spring from the Alps.
Your skin in the shower.
Move me like the music and the rhythm.
Mold me like the sculptor and the ceramics.
My mistakes I have always shown on the surface,
But yours you have hidden deep beneath the sea.
These little black submarines,
They show in the shallows.
From encased in the hands of the small bird
that sits on your brain stem all day;
a little hope comes of me.
Or at least I muse it would.
I dream of you the whole night through,
and when winter comes I still dream of you.
And when age comes I still dream of you.
And when death comes to you, I still dream of you.
And in death I will come to meet the true you.
Don't take that the wrong way,
no one is behind me to back me up on this,
but you always say I don't know you,
believe me I really try too.
If you ever flew,
I would go with you
and the little birds would carry me through.
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