There were days I thought I'd never open my eyes,
days I didn't want to, days I have long tried forgetting.
We called it the Aftermath.

The calm always settles before the storm.
So they say. Hardly could one handle the
violent twists and turns in the winds you spun—
I could never quite quickly enough grasp
a branch to hang on to.
I wasn't yet strong enough. Yet.

The days after the storm, I sat idle, nigh—catatonic
outside your apartment door singing 'Sweet Caroline' like a *******
child because, in my childish, young heart, I thought,
You can hear me. You're listening.
The return silence was deafening.

Nothing was audible, save the radiator buzzing in the hall and the fierce, intrepid lapping of winter wind against a broken window pane.

He was a father's son:
quiet, respectful, hard-working.

He loved the winter. The snow flaking
off the trees. Chilled little prayers.

His father had seizures. Every once in
a long while, his father's eyes would lock
his mother's and his being would tense,
frozen like Cybil's lake across the pasture.
Writhe, foam at the mouth.

He was an old man now. He remembered
everything about his father.

His raspy, charmed voice. His knowing brow.
His leather bound skin wrapped around years of a blunt ax and needy firewood.

As the son's eyes closed into nothing,
he remembers Christmas with his father. A reunion of sorts.

He would ring the doorbell, his father on the steps.
He would invite him in for coffee. He would refuse, only to say, It was nice to see you, George.

Yes, you too Dad. Take care.
Goodbye.

No, you're wrong.

Everyone is as beautiful
as they can possibly be

Particularly at lunch
in a laughing restaurant

Everyone is as beautiful
as they can possibly be

And they are moved
by their own beauty

And they shed tears for it
in the back of the taxi home

Your unique omelets
Fascinate me. Like your ***
Always exotic

Sometimes life is hard to survive,
But you have to continue to strive. 
Your strength may seem to fade, 
We may stumble and fall into shade. 

Sometimes we will encounter pain, 
It'll seem so bad as you sit in the rain. 
Pain is a thing meant to keep inside, 
But it may show as we lose our pride. 

We may hate it but pain will stay in us
It doesn't matter if you cry and fuss. 
We all live with it that's what they say
But some live perfect lives every day. 

Life is a game not meant to be fair,
From the time we're born to lost hair. 
Some were created better than me,        
I just wish they weren't set so free. 

I don't know when this will all close, 
I just have to sit and wait I suppose. 
I will fight for everyone sad and live,
It is the most I can do except forgive.

We all have separate thoughts, 
We wonder about people's plots. 
It's a tough world we're in, 
We all just can't fight off our own sin. 

We must keep going and persevere, 
It's hard though in this world of fear. 
I know  how it feels to be scared, 
But sometimes you can't be prepared

We all need our answers in our lives,
We look around and let out our cries. 
It stays silent but the answer's there
You just need someone who cares. 

Just when you think it's over it not,
You may lose the battle you fought. 
The scene is scary and really sad, 
You may never really feel this bad. 

It's hard for me and that's for sure, 
I don't even know what to fight for. 
For friends or my own pride, 
What's really worth dying inside?

I hate it here in this large universe,
I can't stand living with this curse. 
It's so deadly but you're  just stuck,
I try to run and hide but I'm out if luck. 

I need you here by my side,
Anyone who can get me back pride. 
Nothing lasts forever I promise this, 
I just need to find my sweet bliss. 

We need to stand together as one,
To some the fight will be won.
Keep fighting and you'll meet an end, good or bad you'll find out it depends. 

I'm losing and I can't help it, 
I have fallen in a dark black pit. 
I can't see where I'm going I'm so lost,
I need a light to help me across. 

I love you and need you here, 
You need to help me leave this fear. 
I have a lot to say but I just can't, 
I hear these voices as they just chant

I will soon have my answers I know, 
I need something that I can show. 
People expect things from me, 
I don't know why but I need the key. 

I'll be done soon I can tell
But it's hard when you're living in hell. 
I'll be fine don't you worry, 
The answers are beginning to scurry

This is the end my dear sweet friends
Goodbye to you as this all ends. 
We'll see each other soon I pray, 
But for now I'll be going astray.

Hello friends I have a message to say
I'll say it before my head goes astray. 
You don't care about me or others,
You're selfish and hide in the covers. 

Don't take this the very bad though, 
I am as selfish as and down as low. 
No one isn't selfish in this little space, 
We all just want to win this race. 

At times we want peace to be there, 
But it's violent and no one will care. 
Peace won't ever happen in this life, 
People like living in all of this strife. 

It's not even safe to go for a walk, 
We need a key for this to unlock. 
The key for happiness and serenity, 
The key just to find your identity. 

It's hard to not know who you are, 
When all you have is a terrible scar. 
I don't want to sleep when I think, 
I just wish some memories to shrink. 

I need something special to appear, 
Something to help end my fear. 
Not just my fear but the fear around, 
Remove the fear pound by pound. 

I need to wake up and smell the roses
But it's hard with the scene it poses. 
I can't wake up when I can't sleep, 
I'll just sit there counting sheep. 

 Who really will ever care,
I don't know but I will always be there 
How can this world really be right,
The answer is found when it's bright. 

I'm wounded in this scary creation,
A creation going into full damnation. 
Someday people will understand this,
Only when they find what they miss. 

Give us a reason to live,
And a reason we should give. 
We need a savior to help us stay here
Some people will die because of fear. 

I hate seeing others die for no reason
They search from season to season. 
It's so sad when someone has died, 
So sad that they just sat and cried. 

People need to realize what they do,
What they need is to get a clue. 
People are such terrible creatures,
Some have the worst of features. 

Sometimes people end lives with fear, 
They're the kind that can't steer. 
People need to open they're eyes,
They could be a reason for goodbyes

A n attempt to bamboozle him.

D irecting  the abomination
I nto my inner soul.
S corn, in the flame of passion,
A ffection going nowhere.
G iving way to struggle, looking for a
R eason to cherish
E very yearning.
E nding this bitter taste,
M aking this relationship
E stranged.
N ever will it bloom
T o a tender love.

© Hazel