It hit me like a ton of bricks
Or like a ton of sand
Or like a ton of **** in a sac
Or like a smiting hand

Just BOOM!
Right there.
Right in my face
Right on top of my head
Right in my "happy place"
Right there where I stand

What the hell dude?
What the ****?
What the *******?
What the mother ducking heck?
Why are you being such a ****?

Oh! I see, it's not your fault.
You just couldn't resist.
You didn't mean to
You didn't know
You are just a kid

It's okay, we all **** up
We all make mistakes
We all do stupid things sometimes
We all have those "off" days

But cheating?
No. That is a choice
You don't trip and slip into a ***
You ****** her and I hope it was fun
'Cause you've regained your "Single" badge.

I should know
Who I am by now
I walk
Record stands somehow
Thinking of winter
Your name is the splinter
Inside me

While I wait
I remember the sound
Of your November downtown
I remember the truth
A warm December with you

But I don't
Have to make
This mistake
And I don't
Have to stay
This way

If only I would wake

I walk this town
And fear by now
Your voice is all i hear somehow
Callin' out winter
Your voice is the splinter
Inside me

While I wait
I remember the sound
Of your November downtown
And I remember the truth
A warm December with you

But I don't
Have to make
This mistake
And I don't
Have to stay
This way

If only I would wake

I cold have lost myself
In rough blue waters
In your eyes

And I miss you still

I remember the sound
Of your November downtown
I remember the truth
A warm December with you

But I don't
Have to make
This mistake
And I don't
Have to stay
This way

If only I would wake

I'm afraid sometimes
Afraid that I'll say the wrong thing
Afraid of the pain you'll surely bring
But I tell you I'm brave
And I tell you not to worry

I'm lonely sometimes
Lonely like I'm the only one with eyes
Lonely like my eyes are the only ones that cry
But I tell you that I'm good
And I tell you I can see

I'm sad sometimes
Sad because I'm lonely and afraid
Sad because I'm not as strong as I say
But you still think I'm tough
And I still protect everyone

But I'm happy sometimes, too
Happy because I'm lucky to have you
Happy because you seem like you are true
So I'll smile all the time
And act like I remember fun

Your name may mean "Warrior"
But I'm the one that fights
I fought to keep you happy
So you could make it through the night

Three years after we became "friends"
After months of laughs and cries
After I gave you nearly everything
And I alone dried your bloodshot eyes

You said you were in love with me
But I know that is a lie
You have a girlfriend, stupid
And I've got someone who's mine

So because you cannot have me
In your bed, all to yourself
You're leaving me entirely
Like an old doll upon your shelf

***. That's all you want from me!?
After all I've done for you?
You literally wouldn't be here
If I hadn't come to your rescue

So fine. Just leave.
My best friend.
My brother.
Let me know when you've had time
To find yourself
Another.


You can't, by the way.

I feel like a severed limb
Like an open wound that will not heal
I bleed
I drain
The life slowly seeps from me
As if my soul leeks from the ****
That you have turned me into

Is it cruel?
Is it wrong?
Than I wanted you to feel the same?
No.

I want you to feel off.
I want you to feel dead and undone
Like me
I want the life to gush out of you
Emptying like a waterfall from a river
Until you run dry
Like I am

Hollowed

Gone

D
        R
                A

                         I


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                                       E
                            




                                               D

I have no father
I didn't know 'til now
I guess I must have missed it
Though I'm really not sure how

It's not that he is dead
Or left when I was small
But that he's been around my whole life
And still not been here at all

He worked when I was younger,
I only saw him when he was mad
And when my parents divorced,
I only knew him sad

He never once protected me
Or gave me advice on boys
He never held me as I cried
I never found comfort in his voice

I cry as I write this
For I know the truth it holds
It was I who protected him
And it's made me harsh and cold

He has told me that he loves me
Cried to me about his pain
Asked me for my input
And it's driven me insane

All I wanted was a father
To pick me up when I fell down
Instead I got a burden
Who I can't stand to be around

I truly have a decent life,
With friends and loved ones to spare
But I still feel lost and lonely
Craving the father that was never there