The other day in therapy we talked about my fears.
She asked me why I was afraid of the dark.
At the time I didn't know, I've always been ,

I guess I've never been scared of the dark
I guess I've always loved it

But I've given it some thought and I've noticed
The dark holds untold secrets
It is something you cannot run from

You can't say I'm ugly, you can't say I'm tall

When it comes, it is usually unexpected
And it envelopes you

You'll be forced to listen to my personality and my call

Until you become enclosed in everything else you're afraid of
The dark holds your freedom

Because you can hear my voice and hear my movement
You can't hear my smile and you can't hear my touch

And refuses to return it to you

I'll always be more than enough... In the dark

At night dark becomes powerful
Because there is no escape

Everyone's equal, you don't have to be shy.
It's so much easier to cry without light

No amount of light is bright enough to ***** out the dark.

You and I have the same amount of pride.

The dark holds you
In an intricate web of danger and exposure to things unseen
Worst of all,
The dark holds me
And I, do not enjoy being held by things.

Why is everyone looking for the light?
When it's so much easier living at night.

**In the dark

I lost the reigns I thought I had,
and lost my thoughts in memories.
I've been thinking in past tense,
and I don't think I'm walking forward.

I don't embrace the change with acceptance,
and I don't welcome it with uncertainty.
The ivy on my fingertips is a sure fire sign that
I am wilting by the hour.

I think leeches might have eaten,
what I thought was my heart,
and the mayflies might have collected,
what I thought was my mind.

As I lay and desinigrate,
I become meshed into the wood around me.
I lost the reigns I had, like,
I am not meant for the reality I claimed.

The soft chill of the air at night,
and the spiders on my spine: my fright.
The air seems brisk yet it doesn't touch me,
but I can tell from the way it floats above me.

The reigns, they still left me,
alone in the dark.
Because I couldn't find them,
I couldn't re-spark.

So I am lost like a legend,
a small useless clock.
I am without reason,
my will has been stopped.

Dastardly he dashed
To a damsel in distress
Unable to digest
The rippling
Recoiling
Through his chest

The resounding effects
Affecting his election
To shadow step
In the collection
Of her breaths

Tippy toeing
To the test
In his wonder
Toward her depth

As she deflects
His concepts
And attempts
To project
Some common sense
Into his denseness

Commencing
To undress him
Confessing
To her neglect
As limply she lets
Her guard down

Down that road
That road she knows so well

The O'wells she felt
So well to know

To know
He rides alone

And still

She fell for him
Fell before him
The only one
Who felt him

Befell him

And she put him
Before herself

As she swerved
Her life to his side
And subsided
Right beside him

Queen of the kingdom
Captured by his demons

She seen him seldom
But knew them well

Those hearts
She melts them

And loves them still

But he's alone and staring
From a window sill

Old and graying
Dreaming of fields

She was told from
an age so young
that she indeed possessed all
the magic she needed
within herself
to set
the worlds
to right.

She placed daisies in
her long black hair
and skipped to the beat of her
own made songs she sang to
herself each
and every
day she
was alive.

She was often alone
rarely with friends as
she found comfort in the faeries
she spoke and sang to while
the swing
blew her
hair in
her face.

She giggled when with her
only little sister to whom
she adored more than
each breath she took
each and
every day
even more.

She stood firm at home
never allowing her fathers
drunken words of pain
penetrate her self made wall
of anger, hatred and despair
inside her
mind there
stood angels.

She closed her eyes at night
wishing the demons to
disperse into the heavy winds
that howled through the rafters
reminding her
she was
infact alive.

© Sia Jane

Rarely
barely in the lamplight
I catch sight of myself
in the mirror
on the chair
wondering
is it me alone
or are you there
watching me
on the chair
I want you to be
beside me
to give life
to live life
with me.