Oh sweet, sweet coffee,
the gentle nectar of life and beauty.
Sonnets should be written in your name,
though if I were to pen them
I would need a couple more cups of you.

I just want to know you're there
To know your skin is still in sight
The way you rest your head in hand
and the way you smile goodnight

I need to see you happy
To breathe and know you're gone
The morning brings your droopy eyes
and I know you're not alone

You speak in riddles and secret grins
Your hair is just a mess
I see you in my dreams some nights
Though I hope for nothing less

Our whispered words have faded
Wounds all healed to scars
Though my life is just a little better
for once knowing everything was ours

Too much whiskey makes me miss you
and I’m trying to forget you,
but the way you look is tearing me apart.

This empty house is all I’m facing
and the drinks won’t keep me waiting,
but I miss you when the day is getting dark
Your love was never mine to borrow
and I’m sinking in my sorrows
I love you when the glass is in my hand

Too much whiskey makes me miss you
and I’m trying to forget you
but the way you left is tearing me apart
My only friends are in these bottles
and I’m not thinkin’ ‘bout tomorrow
cause too much whiskey keeps your memory alive

This broken life is all I’m facing
and the tears won’t be wasted
but I miss you while I’m alone in bed
Your time was never mine to borrow
and I’m drowning in my sorrows
I love you when the whiskey’s on my breath

Too much whiskey makes me miss you
and I’m trying to forget you
but this emptiness is tearing me apart
And now I’m too drunk to stand
but the phone is in my hand
It’s time to make a call that I will regret

Too much whiskey makes me miss you
and in the morning I’ll forget you
So why are you still tearing me apart?

Turn it off,
the lies you weave
You've become the bot,
who spits out streams
Consciousness is not with me
Turn off this narrative
and let me be

My little box of empty dreams is filling up too fast
The more I put away for later
the less this feeling lasts

My story is but naught at all
from the world so swift
I collapse into the fall
searching for that upper-lift

I wish I knew the color-scheme for a tale of gold
You think the answer wouldn’t be
quite so very bold

My eye will twitch as I swallow down
the pills that stifle me
I don’t make a sound
but I’ve yet to be let free

******* make me cry
I feel dead inside

Nothing can touch me or make me shine
The light blows out before my cry
The buzz of pleasure only lasts so long
to leave me wanting that haunted warmth

The build up reminds me
of the days I used to sneeze
The excitement more amusing
than that final release

The first was still the best
none can match it's height
I'm left with shortened bursts
that don't last nearly all night

I'll rock my hips and shudder still
but tears will pour down
as I lift my head to yell
Your name on my lips
yet there's no one around

My lonely bought of endless searching
is led by my thrusts and nervous laughing
And ends when I crash the shoreline
to finally die
that little death
each ****** promises

Chug in and wash it down
Don't choke
Just get it right

He'll only love you
if you're a bird

Don't let him down
You need to get ahead
of all the other swallows
perched atop his bed

The battle cry fades
for our wasted memory
no longer remains

Please don't be in love
with someone else; you could be
the one to break me

I cause a lot of
trouble, but I sit back and
watch it all unfold.

The point of the blade
is really just a statement;
a weak one at that

I do still love you,
you crazy fool. For all your
lies were not enough.

Hone your sword upon
my mind; the blade will sever
all false words in two.

It doesn't really
matter when the rush is all
you've got to live for.

You invite me in
for tea, supper and some pain.
How can I say no?

This is degrading.
The names you shout destroy me.
Stop holding me back.

Words are too easy
to say when I am with you.
Especially lies.

The glacier ****** me
with uncertainty for life.
I am sunk beneath.

Love turned it's back, but
I was the one to cower
under it's bright gaze.

My mom bought some mirrors
She put them on all the walls of our house

You might think this to be cool
But it's not, you see

Cause everywhere I go
There's another one of me

I wish I could tell you I loved you
without fear
without pain

I wish that I had the courage to hold you
and tell you everything
will be okay

There are times when it feels so close
I can hardly breathe
but the moments pass quickly
and I'm left here to bleed

I don't trust myself enough to admit how I feel
So lying is the only way I know
to keep everything real

You look at me
and I swear I can see the same feelings
staring back at me

It seems all an illusion
that can only lead to my destruction

I know now
as I have always known
that my love for you is doomed
And not because you love another
but simply because
it's you

Defiled innocents lay stranded
We sleep with heavy limbs
Undisturbed by disturbing dreams

Love costs too much
We are too poor and broken
to pay its price

Scattered ashes take place of roses
where we step
No one moves to save us
Large eyes watch on as we scream

Stolen prayers are sent up
As we stare down
Always cupping our hands
Wanting more
Never earning what we seek

There is no middle ground
We walk unsteadily
And fall as often as we can
No one helps us up
We cry silent tears
No one cares

When did we lose that innocence?

His mouth was sickly twisted in an eternal smile
His upper limbs were disgustingly vile;
all torn up and lifeless
Just hanging about,
like two drunken men passed out

His upper torso was bare for all to see
It was misshapen and cut in slices from left to right
As if in punishment for some ill gotten deed

His eyes were open, looking about
Taking in his surroundings with an unforgetting gaze
His feet were crushed together in a strange way
His legs were covered by the maggots of death
that wriggled about him feasting on his flesh

He lay there were I had left him
In his eternal sleep
For I killed him, happily
Releasing my anguish on his youthful soul
As I look at him now
I can only, laughingly, think one thing:
What a morbid scene

I watch as the only person who has ever truly known me
slowly, painfully closes down piece by shattered piece

Her true self slowly disappearing over the days that followed that tragic afternoon

Brown eyes sunken and swollen
full of suppressed tears just begging to fall

A heart once open
clamping down and beating only for the need to live
while she ponders why she should even bother

She hides her pain from everyone
but mostly from herself

It hovers under the surface
waiting for its chance to overwhelm

Full of smiles
she laughs while her heart is breaking

Until one day she whispers
"I'll never be the same."

And in my heart I know she's right
nothing will ever be as it was

i.
Sister won't come out of her room
She just cries and cries all day

Mommy stares at the walls
As if everything's okay

Daddy sets his mouth in a line
The one that means he's mad

Everyone is so upset
I wish I knew what was wrong

ii.
I heard my father growling
That some "punk" was gonna die

My mother whispered softly
That my sister was a fool
She never should have left that night
And broken all the rules

Sister told me not to worry
While tears came pouring down
She told me boys weren't always nice
Especially the ones downtown

iii.
I wish I was old enough to know
Exactly what went on
But I think that if I really knew
I'd be going, going
                    Gone

I only love you enough to get me through
When the nights are too long
or cold
or there's nothing else to do

I love you when no one is looking
and even more so
when it's just me and you

I'll call you up late and whisper
all the little things that I know make you stay
And every time you try to escape
I'm able to pull you back in
with a little white lie
that fills me with dread
and makes me feel just that less complete

But I love you enough
to get me through
Though I'll never love you enough
to suit you

March me into madness
and steal my soul
I'd gladly offer it up
to ease your boredom

Grab at my earlobe and make me listen
A little force is always needed
There's no fun without a little blood
Make me beg you to get away
Then take my life as I let it go

I'm beginning to despise the words
I'm sorry
They hold no meaning
once you've said them more than twenty times an hour

The tears are getting old
as they salt your shining face
Glistening like pearls
Falling in perfect balance
It couldn't have been more rehearsed

Your words would mean more to me
if they hadn't changed so much
Which story will you tell me now?
The one where you are to blame
or is it her today?

Come on, tell me the truth
For a few moments there you forgot
Forgot about the promises we made
Forgot the love you claim is mine alone
Forgot that we had made a life together
For just a second, a heartbeat, a lifetime
you forgot about *me

Take this pain and make it yours
Mold it, crush it, pull it through
It has your name written inside
claim it for your own

Lost and found
My heart it waits
Growing broken every day

A stones throw makes the vicious run
Scatter liars in the sun
They'll dry and fade
over time
to leave us here with what's been done

I need the love you refuse to give
Push me, shove me, make me scream
I crave your teeth
So mark me here
Sink them in
and take this pain

The words I lay upon a sheet are swifter than your own
Your pen is no match for me
The rhymes you try are dull

My sharpened verse is cutting you
Keep writing how you don't care
The scars my words will leave behind
Are something that you'll crave

Bitterness seeps from every syllable
They cry just like a child
Your work is but a warning
Of how much you need to grow

My interest in this is fleeting
And so
I let you go

You are that piece of art
The one stuck in our minds

Your body is the empty canvas
That sits there taunting artists
"Paint me into being, color in my heart.
Bring this dream to life,
don't let this work stay white."

You want attention constantly
Demanding that you're there

The haunting blankness of your page
Makes us hide in fear
"I am what you make of me.
Take up the pen and mark my lines,
Fill me with your song."

And one day when we're not looking
Suddenly you're gone.

Guarded House with steel-tight gates
Hold yourself
Set away
Covered in vines, and broken dreams
Your paint once told of better days
No longer kept by those you sheltered
Forever weary of all new lovers

I am a slave to pills
and the sound of alarms.
For both I jump through hoops at the time they set aside.
Take me now, at this time!
Get up now you've got things to do!
Neither have the desired effect.
I grow weary of them drowning me in their noise.

Sell Sell Sell
I am a retail *****

Who cares what we are selling
as long as it gets sold
Shove aside your principles
and dignity
for the consumer that you are

Let them feed on our carefully laid truth
as they buy our smiles and false modesty
While we push our product forth

You want this, trust me
It's a steal!

Put it all on credit
Don't bother thinking
No one remembers
those little interest rates

You need to look at our new product,
it's just the thing that you've been craving
No one here will judge you
Just

Buy Buy Buy

Retail makes for a faster living
You'll never be happy until it's yours
Claim it for your own
and I'll collect a percentage of the money
as any hustler should

It's four in the morning
and I'm plagued by three words
They circle my mind and won't let me go

Liar
Sarah
Abandoned

The first is whispered softly in the wee morning hours
Denial spreads quickly as the accusation falls

The second is a beautiful girl for whom I've never met
and yet I already sense a great deal of dread
No good can come of this

The last is simply put away
to only rear it's head
at 4am on Friday nights
while I'm alone in bed

So this is the word you felt you had to write
This is the word you want etched on my skin
A badge to declare to the entire world
That I am The Number One *****

You've marked my mind
When you wish it was my body
Some how you feel I deserve this crime

Your wish was to wound me
To make tears flow
But your ignorance is funny
My smile is all I'll show

If you love me I will sing to you
the words that aren't mine to give

For you I would steal all the good things
and break the bounds of morality
to show that you are special
and whole inside me

I'd ***** your mind
if I could get my hands on it

Your words are my pornographic video
with no subscription needed

I want you to bury me

When I'm gone and plans are made,
I want that shovel in your hands

Lay my body in its grave and let the earth flow
Add your sweat as well as tears to the soil that will cover me

Take your time
No need to rush
I think I deserve just that much

How does it feel to be over me now?
Come on, baby, tell me how

Your lust for success is contagious
I get caught up in the wake and buried by mistakes
A hundred steps behind you
Yet still I see your face

Happiness is a factor
One of many goals
You lost it in the battle
And won it back when the time arose

I always saw you as a warrior
Defending your beliefs
Overflowing with sorrow
Yet you kept away the grief

I strive to follow closely
The example that you've set
To go on fighting bravely
And learn with every regret

Every time I'm near you all I can be is awkward

I desperately want to come off as affable and cool
But one look from you and I'm stuttering
Tripping over myself and falling down

You laugh and look away
I wonder if you see me at all
Your eyes are always averted
Though mine are usually on the floor

I want to grab your hair

I think about you deep into the night
Long after I should sleep
You create a cycle of insomnia
That I always regret tomorrow

When I speak to you I lose my nerve at the last second
and stumble away in tongue-tied disarray

You enter,
I panic,
the words get caught and I tell a stupid joke
Making fun of you always seems safe
I can be so harsh
I never meant to hurt you
Though you laugh it all away

In those moments I think
Maybe
You actually get me

I grab at you only when I'm smashed
Apologizing profusely
While you calmly say, "it's okay"

I'm just waiting for the day
You tell me you know
And you feel the same

I like to write my words down on post-it notes
in barely legible print.
Writing the words so closely together
that you hardly know where one word ends and the other begins.
Making each small page seem like a giant secret
that should be stored away in drawers and at the bottom of my purse.
Do not read these messy notes,
for they hold too much of me.

She roams the land in
Hectic pursuit of a faceless love
Everyone tries to hold her back
Looking on as she runs past
Lies unspoken as they cling to her
Yelling from the pain of being left behind

Cover me up and watch me burn
The song of my sadness is soaring high

Your face is stone
And I am water
I run down you
Through your mind

Let me cleanse you as you cry
I'll give you the strength you'll need

Bunch me together with your hopes
And watch my fear float free
I'll cover you as you fly

I am moving
As you stand still
We push together
And fall down

I won't change you
You won't beg
In the end the fire
Will be
All that we have left

I wish my birthday was in December
So it would be gone by now

I wish my birthday was in June
So it would not be so close

I wish my birthday was not in February

For…

I'm not ready
to turn
another page
in my book
of wasted memories

I sleep in hope of dreams that
grow and spread

You used to be my muse
and now you're dead

I sleep in hope to get away
from my world so black

For without you in my life
I don't want to go back

Round and round
your words do spin

You sit upon my wit's end

Don't go crashing over the edge
for my laughter will go chasing after

High upon your broken throne
you jeer and call me out

I'll bite and cry
but tis all for naught

This whole thing was just a joke

In the end you'll be my Lark,
sing to me your funny song
as you fly away too soon

Can you see me in this light?
Can you tell I'm here?
How do I look?

Can you tell who I am today?

My personality changes and I'm never the same
I'll brush right past you and never look back
You'll be left in tears by words I leave unsaid

Have you guessed who I am today?

I like to take orders and have people tell me what to do
I am weak and can never think for myself

See who I am yet?

I hide myself behind people and never speak my mind
I nod my head and agree to anything they say
I'm never a leader and always a follower
I flourish in darkness and hide from the light
Shadows are my friends and I tend to cower in them

Can you guess now?
Have you seen who I am today?

I've made it easy for you to see
I've given you so many clues
I think it's plain to see
So obvious
that today I'm being you

Tentative starts are very thrilling
We don't know where it goes
Or where it ends
Will it end?
Talking too much is never a problem
Breathing can be though

Weakness is a fickle thing
it grows inside me and causes pain
It makes me fear the openness
of which you seem so fond of

I hide behind this attitude,
pretending I do not care
While you slowly fade away

I'll push and shove you,
all the while wishing you could see
That I really want you never to leave

I grow so cold with longing for you,
but can never find my voice
To tell you that I love you more than my own life
So I'll keep on telling you to go away
And silently I'll pray
that you can see past my anger
to the fear that keeps me at bay