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Jul 2011 · 487
Final Declaration
Lestatmalfoy Jul 2011
You hide behind your knight in shining armor who,
to be honest,
isn't all that shiny.
You think that you've been saved
while you forsake all those who helped you get there.
Taking for granted that we'll always love you,
no matter how much you mistreat us.

So look at your trees and don't be swayed.
You are the righteous one,
who never does any wrong.

Write your scathing words and smile to yourself,
pretending you're not lost.
It's not as if you have anything to lose;
you have all that you could ever want, right?
What else could you ever need?

It's not like I won't always be here waiting for your pity,
because pity is all you think I need.
I'm not some little girl who's lost in the woods without you.
Maybe if I walk a little further from you
you'll be able to get over yourself.

Go ahead and look down at me from your pedestal;
I won't be under your gaze anymore.
I can take responsibility for my actions,
maybe one day you can do the same.
Perhaps that's just expecting a little too much
from the child you show yourself to be.

This will be the last thing I write for you;
I won't waste one more word on you.
Jul 2011 · 284
Words to a Friend
Lestatmalfoy Jul 2011
Don't ask me why
I want to make you smile
Let your tears dry
At least for awhile

Look at me
And be still
I can make you see
If only you will

Remember your dreams
How they make you feel
Bursting at the seams
Not believing it's all real

Don't be distressed
Just remember
That you are blessed
And you'll always have her
Jul 2011 · 700
Delete
Lestatmalfoy Jul 2011
If I push this button you'll just disappear
It'll be as if you never were

Wiping my hard drive of all traces of you will bring me relief
"Pics or it didn't happen," so they say,
and so I erase you from my life

No longer able to sift through our past
and see the lies I now know them to be
Watching us pile up in the Recycle Bin
knowing once I hit "empty" all the hurt will be gone
I won't restore even if it means being empty for the rest of my life

My background will no longer show me your face,
reminding me of when we thought we were happy

The computer always played a part with us
and it only seems fitting
that the final nail be slammed in
with my delete button
Jul 2011 · 457
Free
Lestatmalfoy Jul 2011
I am free, I am free
You cannot hold on to me
I'll fly away, I'll fly away
Just you see
I'll be so far, I'll be so far
Since you left my cage ajar
I'll stretch my wings, I'll stretch my wings
No longer bound by any strings
Jul 2011 · 4.6k
Silly Underwear
Lestatmalfoy Jul 2011
I hate you, big underwear
Why are you always the last pair
Staring at me from the drawer
Laughing cause you know for sure
Just how much I loathe to wear
You giant-sized underwear
Jul 2011 · 572
The Story
Lestatmalfoy Jul 2011
I'm afraid to open this book,
to start this story.
For once I'm unsure of how it all will end.
I grow weary of being mislead
and falling for characters that never make the final page.

Misconceived and thrown aside,
the pages all unfold with no remorse.
Steadily falling away faster and faster
with no one there to make it stop.

He came along with such sweetness
and an interesting line,
but was unobtainable and left the tale much too soon.

I waited, hoping he'd be written back in
and when he was I held my breath.

I'd never imagined someone so endearing and beautiful.
It was almost like his soul shown through the pages,
burning so brightly my eyes would water at every word.

His world quickly became the only place I wanted to be,
I read everyday.
I grew afraid of sharing myself with this character,
he was much too important to lose.
Surely if I left myself unguarded
he'd disappear at the end of the next chapter,
at the end of the page.

I saw the ending coming closer now,
but still not knowing the conclusion.
How would it end?
I grew mad with curiosity.
Impatient and frightened all at once for the same thing.

I knew I loved him but was unaware that I decided his fate.
Could I trust myself to see this to the end,
to finish this book and know
if he was capable of not letting me down.
That maybe he was able to redeem what little faith I had in fiction.
That perhaps it wasn't fiction at all.
Maybe, someone could love me
and it not be a fairy tale.
Jul 2011 · 401
These Words Belong To You
Lestatmalfoy Jul 2011
I'm trying so very hard
but everything I write is for you
I can twist the words
and hold them in
but the point is always you

The rules say I can't keep you in mind
or share my every thought
I'm running out of answers
and I don't know what to do

It seems the world is set against us
Forbidding my love of you
So I hide it inside
and don't let them see

But every night I scream
"All my words are for you!"
Jul 2011 · 457
18 Years Ago
Lestatmalfoy Jul 2011
i.
18 years ago
you touched me
16 years ago
you stopped
14 years ago
I finally told on you
Too late
was all I heard

ii.    
13 years
until I willingly was touched
1 more
till I was calm
I'm still waiting for a time
when I can truly let him love me

iii.
I never did confront you
for those 18 years of pain
And the years that are to follow
until I can really let someone in
Jul 2011 · 708
Artistic Abuse
Lestatmalfoy Jul 2011
I color your words in shocking reds
with undertones of purple to show
the bruises they create

Each syllable like a stab in my chest
I know you meant for them to hurt me
but the physical wounds are brightly colored
In mocking tones of lively colors

They pain me
even though I catch myself staring
unable to look away from the mutilated beauty

Mark me
Beat me
Paint me green, blue, black
Hurt Me

Scathing words thrown at me like rocks
Bouncing off my flesh

And all I can do is beg you to paint me
No matter how much it wounds me
because I am your canvas
And you are a master artist
Jul 2011 · 452
Love Lives Under Pain
Lestatmalfoy Jul 2011
i.
When you walk on water
I feel as though the blood in me is gone
Weakness makes me fall face first into your lonely sea
As I'm enveloped by the waves and take that first breath of ocean
I sense that maybe I am dreaming your beauty

Who can walk on water anyway?

ii.
You control my shaking
as a lion controls his roar
Pushing me into the side of this mountain you've built around us
Every time I try to rush past you
you break me down once more

Who wants to be free anyway?

iii.
Every time you cry
I taste grief in my mouth
It's bitterness tingles on my tongue

I bathe in your sadness, as it lingers over me
and wonder when it was you last said goodbye
I hunger for your tears
like you crave my forced words of love

When the taste is so satisfying
who needs to be happy anyway?
Jul 2011 · 543
Defeated Melody
Lestatmalfoy Jul 2011
I find I care less and less
as the days go by
The glimmer of hope
that was short lived will briefly haunt me
till it can be replaced
with something more painful

My frown will fade into oblivion
as soon as I find a distraction
The warnings were given
I knew my place
This sting is my reward for ignoring the rules
and kissing you anyway

The words you whispered tricked me
Spun around me and wrapped my hands in them
I breathed in deep
learning, too late, that I was caught

I'll pour the water over my head now
Rinse off this feeling of waste
My heart has stopped pounding
and my song is ending soon

The beat we shared was fleeting
You forgot the words with time
I'll walk away calmly
humming our once perfect rhyme
I wrote this about a stupid boy. I liked him for about a year, and waited for him to make a move. When he finally did I was elated, but he killed it shortly. After writing this I completely moved on from the slight hurt and no longer see him in a romantic way. It felt so good getting this out, but I do see what a waste it was. We could have been something really good.

— The End —