Im tired of all the lies I hide behind, so Im Breaking the ties to the past
Long lasting present because the past is the past not a cage,
and it also isn't a theatre
So this exsistance shouldn't be staged, cause this **** ain't funny like Bellamy,

You might think I've gone mad because I'm not listening to what you're tellin' me not to,
but I got to, in order to survive, because the self inflincted wounds are healing and hardening,  I'm searching for a deeper punishment,
making life more enjoyable, laid back and not so tense,
you won't have to worry about what trouble I might be in next,
and you won't have to be burdened with disappointment when I fail your tests.
So I'll play this life like a game of spades,
by the time this game is over, my stomach will be corroded with rage
but I'll  keep a pokerface,
hidden behind stoner charm, a smile,
a handsome face & tinted shades,
I know you're clearly blind to my bluffing,
and I know you see me today,
but my eyes are set on the worries of tomarrow and
my mind is still wincing from yesterdays sarrow
I'm alive but I'm dying inside
because the guilt and shame are smothering me,
not to mention I'm choking on regret,
Don't fret, because my face isn't turnin' blue, and my pulse isn't speeding up,
but my wrists are scarred, but not ******,
and please don't worry because this won't happen agian,
not making any promises,
Lord please forgive me for I know that I have sinned,
I just needed some proof to remind me where I've been....