LeRoy Williams

LeRoy Williams Nov 2012

My Last

Reasons being shame, regret, and trouble,
You all became miserable
which made it double,
With thoughts as clear as clear itself,
The time was near,
I swept the shelf,
Downing the bottle,
The tylenol to follow,
My heart was full,
My mind was hallow,
The body claimed,
My soul remained swallowed,
They all knew I disappeared,
So funerals canceled due to the weather,
Because I'm gone everything will be better,
My reasons being shame, regret, and all your trouble.

LeRoy Williams Nov 2012

Decending

Coming to a conclusion in mid-flight,
Falling is and has always been my destination,
How I can understand my family's frustration,
I've been a terrorist on familiar grounds,
Only to jeoprodize the well-being of thier well-being
Making an easier outcome,
Falling has always been my destination from the start.

Thinking while I sit here alone,
Incisions deep enough to feel my bones,
Shades of vermillion paint my clothes
and thoughts of cessation brings me close to home.

LeRoy Williams Nov 2012

Adrift Without

As I spend another night alone
I think to myself,
How far we would have been;
If only you would have held on little longer,
Then maybe, just maybe,
our connection would have gotten stronger.
We shared memories,
and for every moment we spent together,
I felt what love really was
and it hurts to feel what true love really does.
but the pain became merely emptiness,
with the pain went the world,
Detached from reality
you were all that there was,
I don't wish I would have never fallen in love,
I just wish your touch wouldn't have stained my heart.
This feeling has become an illness that fills my head with thoughts of her,
I'm dying inside,
and I have realized that there isn't a cure.

LeRoy Williams Oct 2012

Conversation With my Reflection

Im tired of all the lies I hide behind, so Im Breaking the ties to the past
Long lasting present because the past is the past not a cage,
and it also isn't a theatre
So this exsistance shouldn't be staged, cause this **** ain't funny like Bellamy,

You might think I've gone mad because I'm not listening to what you're tellin' me not to,
but I got to, in order to survive, because the self inflincted wounds are healing and hardening, I'm searching for a deeper punishment,
making life more enjoyable, laid back and not so tense,
you won't have to worry about what trouble I might be in next,
and you won't have to be burdened with disappointment when I fail your tests.
So I'll play this life like a game of spades,
by the time this game is over, my stomach will be corroded with rage
but I'll keep a pokerface,
hidden behind stoner charm, a smile,
a handsome face & tinted shades,
I know you're clearly blind to my bluffing,
and I know you see me today,
but my eyes are set on the worries of tomarrow and
my mind is still wincing from yesterdays sarrow
I'm alive but I'm dying inside
because the guilt and shame are smothering me,
not to mention I'm choking on regret,
Don't fret, because my face isn't turnin' blue, and my pulse isn't speeding up,
but my wrists are scarred, but not ******,
and please don't worry because this won't happen agian,
not making any promises,
Lord please forgive me for I know that I have sinned,
I just needed some proof to remind me where I've been....

LeRoy Williams Oct 2012

Cancerous Sarrow

Your skin caressing mine,
Our eye's reclined, naturaly drawn together,
(you are mine until the end)
spoken without words,
Lost in eachother, without time,
bound by compassion.*

The shades drawn back,
Photographs spilling tears and the ring you left behind,
reason me into believing you were real;
  I looked to the sky,
  You were no where to be found
the stars; I knew they would fade away eventually,
  Not in my lifetime...
But you did,
leaving memories behind along with the sickness that filled your heart,
        making mine heavy with discontent and disphoria,
  though I am grateful for the time we spent together,
  We are true love and *my heart is forever yours.

— The End —