Its in those moments we give out ourselves a little bit. A little care. A little love. A little of who we are is displayed in our tiniest of actions.
When someone coughs and we do not hesitate to offer water
When someone is shifting too many bags on their hands and we offer a little help to lighten the burden
Or when we hold the lift door
Or when we reach out an extra packet of rice to our neighbouring patient hoping it reminds them of comfort
Or when we tell our food panda rider to be safe on his way home
Or when we say keep the extra change
Or when we offer to walk with a fragile stranger till they're safe

I find comfort in my pain, tears and sadness,  as ive come to know that happiness isnt everlasting. And thats okay. Its okay to find solace in pain.
But when it gets too much, like a river it overflows, spills at places and drowns the other fragments of me.
How do i stop this feeling?

Im sitted here
Right infront of you
Supposedly celebrating our anniversary
I had it all planned out in my head
For hours ,for days
I pictured the way it was suppose to be
Silly of me to think id go perfectly the way i thought in my stupid head
Here you are
Not a word spoken to me
A silent dinner date
Not the first time
Expectations really disappoints us

I listen to the thoughts you don't speak.

I receive your joviality even when you're just smiling.

I drowned in the echoes of your laughter,always hoping im the reason behind it.

I sense your dissapointment even in a fragment of your voice.

I witness the ache you carry in your eyes when you don't sleep enough.

I dwell in your solemnity to feel your desolation

I bare some of your agonizing burdens through a prayer when you least expect it.

I see the inner kid in you that craves for infinite affection.

I have a weakness for the depth of your undeniable love. It's addictive.

I am amused with your tenacity to give your heart out all over again.

I am inspired by your resilience.

I want to fill the void within you with my compassionate love
I want you to have a little faith for all the upcoming adversities life throws at you.
I want nothing more but abundance of joy and contentment in your life.
I want you to know that even in the days you forget who you're becoming
I want you to know I see you.
I see you dear.
Always.

Everyone I loved left.
Everyone I trusted betrayed.
Everyone I held on, gave up.
What makes you so different from them?
I'd rather end it at 'hello'.

You don't understand
It wasn't about the flowers you received from her
It was the way you lit up in joy when you received it
I didn't think it would affect me
But I was hoping the same reaction..
When I spent nights thinking which was the perfect gift for you.
Non of it mattered anyway.

That one time I needed you to fight for me.
You didn't.
That one last test to prove you kept your promise.
You didn't.
The one time I believed you wouldn't leave.
You did.