As I lay my head on this comfortable pillow, seemed like I have been here before
Familiar feeling as insomnia struck
I toss and turn, all thoughts and feelings overwhelm me
I had my dreams and hopes tossed and turned before, they never stood a chance in a long shot
I had my love lost, gone, and I’m still here waiting for it to return
I’ve stood and watched things for too long, when will it ever be my turn
I’m here dreaming of how my momma used to tell me “do good unto others so that they can do good unto you in return”
What I didn’t know is that the world play by no rules, abide by no laws
Left me hanging, hoping, waiting upon the world to return the favour
Reality struck, as I raise my head
“This is my time”, as I tell myself
Chest out, chin up, I beat my chest as sense of pride, sense of confidence
Time I overcome
Oh yes I’m doing no one no more favours
Time to look out for number one
I’ve trusted the world before and it spat right back at my face
Higher and higher I’m moving, climbing the tallest of ladders
Suddenly I’m at the peak
Yes, I am a leader, a role model
Momma would be so proud
Wait, all this coming true very soon
As I look down the ladder where I passed
I made no new friends, no new relationships
Yes I made it, but I realize I’m all alone
…“Ouch”; as I hit my head on the bedroom floor
Awaken I am, as I realize it was just a dream
Reality hits me in the face as I notice the lesson
‘Be kind to the world. It won’t always return the favour, but it shouldn’t mean you don’t have to try’

I want to go all in,
I want us to go with everything
No buts, no maybes, no what ifs

And baby if you wondering where that is,
Its all the way to the moon babe
To the Stars and above
To the Milky ways and the Galaxies
To the Heavens and all the Planets surrounding

All the way babe, Deep

I mean deep deep through the pores of your soft, silky, vallina skin;
Through the soft skin tissues and muscular tissues,
All the way through the veins that carry your gorgeous blood,
And through the ribcages guarding the only reason to keep me going,
And finally, through the Aorta Valves and Arteries, And Home.
The most beautiful warm place,
Most valuable, most protected, and with every Beat, keeping both of us alive. There is were I want to go.
Where I want to be.
And where I want to live forever.
Because baby, you are my forever.

Now without any delays babe,
Take my hand and I'll lead the way.

This is my letter of apology
I have a lot to apologise for, just don't know where to start
Let me start from the beggining

I'm sorry you were the most beautiful girl I have ever seen; still are
Sorry I couldn't resist but approach you
Sorry you became my pillow to lean on when I was down
Sorry you made me believe in love again when I had lost hope

I'm sorry I fell hard for you,
And sorry I made you fall hard for me too
I also apologize for proposing just afrer 2 months dating you
I know it freaked you out
I'm sorry you were the best thing to ever happen to me and sorry I messed all that up

I'm sorry for all the great nights and sorry for the sleepless nights too
I'm sorry for playing with your cute bubbly cheeks, and I'm sorry for grabbing your **** too, I just can't resist
I'm sorry if I kiss you too much sometimes
Sorry if I take you too many pictures, even though I feel they are still not enough, because baby, stars can never have enough pics

I'm sorry I play too much when you with me
Sorry I cuddle a bit too much even when it's hot
I'm sorry I don't see you enough
I'm sorry I don't call you enough
Sorry I push too much

And I'm sorry if I don't allow you to wear shorts, I know you secretly love em
Oh, and sorry for calling your pointy shoes a knife...lol, just making fun of them because I know how much you love them
Sorry if I sometimes make you wear things you uncomfortable in
But I'm mostly deeply sorry for breaking your heart again

For making you promises I couldn't keep
I'm sorry for every tear you had to shed for that, for me
I'm sorry for not treating you like you are enough, for not showing you you are everything I needed
I'm sorry for a lot other things too, but I'm not sorry I met you,

I'm not sorry I fell in love with you
I'm not sorry you fell in love with me
Because I'll forever love you...
And if I had to do it all over again just to spend one more day with you, I'd would in a heartbeat,
I just would never ever get us in this situation again,

And here I am again, On one knee
Only this time not with a ring on my hands, but my heart, begging for your forgiveness
I am sorry....

We know yoga pants were created to be worn during yoga, but so what?  
Blackberry smartphones were created as a business tool, so what?
Timberlands were created to be used as safety working boots, so what?
We know Qwerty keyboard was created 2 elimn8 typin lyk dis, so wat?
Facebook was created to Connect people not Disconnect people from the world, but so what?

We would **** use a knife as a screwdriver if we want to; and take that ****** same knife and make a sandwhich...
We make things work, we make a plan..
We do what we want with what we want where we want to.

So what if we are a little different?
So what if we don't do the same things?
So what if the hair we wear is not ours?
So what if our skin colour is a bit darker
Or soo what if we decide to bleach our skin?

So what if our clothes are a bit much revealing and leave a little to imagination;
Or so what if we walk naked down the road?
So what?...

So what if we party too much
Or drink too much?
So what if i have many ****** partners?
So what if our generation has lost repect?
So what if our generation has no morals?
So what if kids are mothering babies
And boys running from fathering responsibilities?

So what if we lost sight of what's important?
So what if all we care about is a big *****, perfect skin, eyebrows on fleek and attention?
So what if we do strange things to put bread on the table?
So what if the only key to our hearts is money?  
So what?...

We may be a lost generation,
But this is our generation... So what?

But what then would happen if we were to wake up only to realize its too late for our next generations?

What then?...

I want that typa relationship
That pinky swear typa relationship.
That "you hang up, No you hang up."
That speaking as 3rd person type of relationship. That "Lefa is not talking you." Typa relationship.
Lol, that "I'm never talking to you, I'm still mad," but yet remind me every 10 minutes that you still mad at me.
That relationship when you dead mad at me and still bring me a blanket cos I'm cold.
I want that relationship.
That "Babe how do I look?"; "Wow babe, God must've been showing off when he created you", typa relationship.
I wan't you...
You're my typa relationship.

I'm busy telling myself that we were meant to be,
but what if we were never meant to be?
What if we were just meant to meet?
Meant to share a great deal of sweet memories.
Meant to learn, to love and to move on.
What if our meant to be, was never meant to be and it cannot be?
And what it should be is for us to find peace.
Find ways to move on.
Find new faces.
Find new love.
But if that's all that we were meant to be, why is moving on feeling so impossible?
You see loving someone; it’s like holding a dove in your arms.
It might be yours but its still gotta fly.
They say if you really love it, you should set it free; and if it’s meant to be, it will be.
It will return to your arms.
You shouldn't hold on to it, and you shouldn't refuse to let it go.
What I do realize now is that I was squeezing too tight,
And all this time you were suffocating,
Praying for a gasp of fresh breath but I didn't notice,
Because all wanted was to always have you.
See now I hope you haven't lost your ability to fly,
Because what I'm doing now, is setting you FREE.
Spread your wings,
Follow the wind and chase after seasons, because you deserve to.
I find myself singing "I Could’ve, Would've, Should've" because what I Should've, was to let you go a long time ago.

It is all my fault isn't it
I kept apologizing and apologizing
And all you gave me was a hand to talk to
My words just went through one ear to the other
I was better off a mute

Could've been better if I had just let it be
Clearly you were not interested in what I had to say
You already had your mind made up
I know it won't make a difference yet,  I am sorry

I made all the excuses
Came up with all the lies
Even after all that
It still made no difference
Your mind is already made up
I am all at fault
And for that, I am sorry

How long should I apologize for you to hear my voice?
How loud should I scream for you to recogize me?
What more should I say for you to believe me?
Well, I am sorry

Even though after all this,
You went ahead and did the same, only worse
You say it's all my fault, is it?
Was there a gun to your head?
Were you just looking for an excuse to do that?
Well, you got it

Now I find myself once more apologizing
No, not apologizing to you nor what I did
I am sorry I tortured myself
I am sorry I blamed myself for your situation, for your choices
I am sorry I wasn't perfect enough
I am sorry
I am sorry for feeling sorry for myslef

I am done apologizing now,
Because, I forgive me...