They say actions speak louder than words, if so,
Why do they pearce though the skin like a sharp knife all the way to my heart?
Why isn't there any effective medication to help me heal, to help me forget.
I may resolt to alcohol or get high now and then to drown my pain,
but we know what's high gotta come down,
And as I get lower and the alcohol departs my body, so does the pain return
I remember having a bad accident when I was 8 years old, very big painful scar on my face.
Pain was both physical and emotional
But looking at me now, I forgot I ever had one
It healed
**** this hurts like hell,
Pardon for I don't really know what Hell looks like, or how Hell feels,
But if there was ever a way to describe hell, it surely would be the way I feel now

For now, I'm letting go,
Pain can't hold me hostage no more
You got no hold on me no more
I'm setting myself free..

It's all said and done
You know you can't have your words back right?
You can't unspeak them
You can't unthink them
You can't retrieve them from my ears
For they are words,
The words you have said

Don't feel sorry for me now
No time for guilt now
What's has been done, has been done
You can't tumble and drown in regrets now
You can't go back
Wipe those tears now love,
They mean less to nothing now

Life is not a Personal Computer my friend
There is no Cntr + Alt + Del,
There's no undo, the Cntr + Z
No do overs
Yes my friend, you did it
Yes buddy, you said it

Forget about the yesterday now,
You never getting it back
But you are here now
We, are here now
So what?

It did hurt like hell, Yes
Do I wish I handn't heard it nor saw it, Yes
Do I wish you'd turn back the hands of time, denitely Yes
Oh how I so wish I had Harry Porter's wand and Hocus Pokus myslef out of this
How I so wish I someone could erase my memories,
Or how I wish they can pinch me, wake me up, and say "Lefa, wake now, it was just a nightmare"

Oh well, still doesn't change a thing,
Here we are, this very monent, this very time... So what now?

I met this young lady the other day
She said, "excuse me Mister, I know I don't know you but, I can't help but wanna talk to you"
I said what's wrong? She said, "you see, the thing is, I am afraid, I am scared, I am shaken"
"What's got you so frightened little miss? "
And she said "the thing is, I am scared I am falling"
"I am falling hard and I'm scared imma get hurt"
" Your looks, fashion, sense of style, the way you conduct yourself, got me falling "
"I know it's been only a couple of seconds but I can't help it"
"Thing is, I don't wanna fall unless I'm falling for you"
"I don't wanna trip-over"
"The only trip I want to have, is a trip down memory lane with you, when we are old, reminising about the good old times we shared together"
"You see mister, I don't wanna chase nobody, unless I'm running after your heart"
"I'm terrfied of these feelings mister"
"From the very first moment you waltzed passed, my breathing pattern became irregular"
"I felt like running 100 miles while standing still"
"Is this normal mister?"
"Of course it is little miss, and like any other phase, it will pass"
"See, like you little miss I once had a crush on someone"
"She told me the same words I'm going to say to you right now"
"You prince is somewhere out there"
"The one your heart rightfully belongs to"
"The one who will treat you like a princess"
"And when that moment comes, you will know"
"But as for me little miss, I have found a my Queen to my kingdom"
"So rest easy now little miss"
"And you know what, You don't need to be scared no more"...

Feels like walking in the Garden of Eden, looking at the forbidden fruit
I know it’s tasty, might even be healthy too
It is very beautiful
It looks worth it, is it?
But having a taste comes with consequences
My world could crumble, I could feel naked, and I could lose favor
Should I refrain, just let it be?
Should I give in, take all without a second thought?
Frustrations overwhelm me
Anger, Bitterness, Courage and Discourage
I didn’t water this garden, nor plant this tree
But should I watch as some random being takes it instead?
What if he enjoys, what if he doesn’t wanna let go, or what if one bite will be enough for him and throw it in the ground to rot?
Left to be food for ants and worms
What then? What if?
What if I could have saved it, harvested it with care
Could have made the best of it
Could’ve taken the seed to grow more
Water, nourish, and watch as the fruits bloom and blossom from the seed?
What if? What then? If not,
All I’ll sing is “I could’ve, should’ve, would’ve”…
And what I wouldn’t have is the most beautiful fruit in the garden, The only fruit I was told I shouldn’t have, I couldn’t have
What if that’s exactly what I should do?
Go against all odds, and get what I want, actually what I need
It must be the hunger talking, but I think I’m ready to give in, give up, and listen to my stomach
The only fear is what if I’m the worst thing to ever happen to it? What then? …

I told you this would last forever
But I lied
I said things will never change
But I lied
I told you you were beatiful, even though I can't explain beauty
So I lied
I told you Red was a beatiful color
but who and what describes beauty?
For they say the beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder
I say it's mostly directly proportional to how you feel about a person
Excuse my mathematical jargon because I'm no Mathematician
Don't they say in the Bible that King Solom wore Purple, the color of beauty, the color of wisdom
But who am I to tell it different so, I lied
I said your skin was as smooth as silk and as beautiful as vanilla but, was it?  Was it really? I know I couldn't tell the truth so, I lied

I told you your eyes are beatiful, your eyes are big, twinkly
Maybe I lied, it was just your pupil dialating when it saw my light
I told you I could give you the world,
But the world was not mine to give to begin with, but baby its what you wanted so, I lied
I also told you the sky was green, the sea was blue, and you believed every word, I'm sorry

Maybe I lie a bit too much, or maybe just enough, or maybe that's also a lie
It's mostly to protect you

Remeber that day at the park?
I held you in my arms
The world didn't seeze to exist but us
We swore to be together for life, was it a lie
You said you're mine forever and I'm yours too, or was it also a lie?
Can't keep with the lies no more

It's lie after lie because that's all what you seem to believe
Because truth to you, seems too good to be true
I remember the day you held my hand, looked me in the eye and said, "do you still love me? "
I know I used to answer that everyday with no doubt in my mind, but that day,
The answer remained the same,
As I said proudly, "I still do babe"
Guess what?...

It's all said and done
You know you can't have your words back right
You can't unspeak them
You can't unthink them
You can't retrieve them from my ears
For they are words, the words you have said

Don't feel sorry for me now
No time for guilt now
What's has been done, has been done
You can't tumble and drown in guilt now
You can't go back
Wipe those tears now love, they mean less to nothing now

Life is not a Personal Computer my friend
There is no Cntr + Alt + Del,
Theres no undo, the Cntr + Z
Yes my friend, you did it
Yes buddy, you said it

Forget about the yesterday now,
You never getting it back
But you are here now
We, are here now
So what?

It did hurt like hell, Yes
Do i wish i handn't heard it nor saw it, Yes
Do i wish you'd turn back the hands of time, denitely Yes
Oh how i so wish I had Harry Porter's wand and Hocus Pokus myslef out of this
How I so wish I someone could erase my memories,
Or how I wish they can pinch me, wake me up, and say Baby, this was just a nightmare

Oh well, still doesnt change a thing,
Here we are, this very monent, this very time... So what now?

I know how old I am
I know how old I look
Don't be fooled by the beard on my face
Don't let my height fool you either
Just know, I am just a boy afterall

I love sports
I play with toys,
No, not the ones you have in mind
I play soccer once in a while
I might scream and shout at the TV knowing well Messi can't hear me
I still do it anyway
Because, I'm still just a boy

I have a drink with 'the boys' now and then
I act tough, I am tough
Also maybe a little soft inside
The side I never show
I hide my pain, I don't cry infront of people
Why? No, because I'm no *****
But, I am still a boy afterall

I like girls, only one I particular
She makes my heart skip a beat
I look at things I shouldn't sometimes
I make mistakes, nowhere near perfect
I lie sometimes, honest every other time
You know why,
because I'm just still a boy

And this very moment, this very place
I am just a boy, infront of a girl
Pouring his heart out
And asking her to love her...