I want that typa relationship
That pinky swear typa relationship.
That "you hang up, No you hang up."
That speaking as 3rd person type of relationship. That "Lefa is not talking you." Typa relationship.
Lol, that "I'm never talking to you, I'm still mad," but yet remind me every 10 minutes that you still mad at me.
That relationship when you dead mad at me and still bring me a blanket cos I'm cold.
I want that relationship.
That "Babe how do I look?"; "Wow babe, God must've been showing off when he created you", typa relationship.
I wan't you...
You're my typa relationship.

I'm busy telling myself that we were meant to be,
but what if we were never meant to be?
What if we were just meant to meet?
Meant to share a great deal of sweet memories.
Meant to learn, to love and to move on.
What if our meant to be, was never meant to be and it cannot be?
And what it should be is for us to find peace.
Find ways to move on.
Find new faces.
Find new love.
But if that's all that we were meant to be, why is moving on feeling so impossible?
You see loving someone; it’s like holding a dove in your arms.
It might be yours but its still gotta fly.
They say if you really love it, you should set it free; and if it’s meant to be, it will be.
It will return to your arms.
You shouldn't hold on to it, and you shouldn't refuse to let it go.
What I do realize now is that I was squeezing too tight,
And all this time you were suffocating,
Praying for a gasp of fresh breath but I didn't notice,
Because all wanted was to always have you.
See now I hope you haven't lost your ability to fly,
Because what I'm doing now, is setting you FREE.
Spread your wings,
Follow the wind and chase after seasons, because you deserve to.
I find myself singing "I Could’ve, Would've, Should've" because what I Should've, was to let you go a long time ago.

It is all my fault isn't it
I kept apologizing and apologizing
And all you gave me was a hand to talk to
My words just went through one ear to the other
I was better off a mute

Could've been better if I had just let it be
Clearly you were not interested in what I had to say
You already had your mind made up
I know it won't make a difference yet,  I am sorry

I made all the excuses
Came up with all the lies
Even after all that
It still made no difference
Your mind is already made up
I am all at fault
And for that, I am sorry

How long should I apologize for you to hear my voice?
How loud should I scream for you to recogize me?
What more should I say for you to believe me?
Well, I am sorry

Even though after all this,
You went ahead and did the same, only worse
You say it's all my fault, is it?
Was there a gun to your head?
Were you just looking for an excuse to do that?
Well, you got it

Now I find myself once more apologizing
No, not apologizing to you nor what I did
I am sorry I tortured myself
I am sorry I blamed myself for your situation, for your choices
I am sorry I wasn't perfect enough
I am sorry
I am sorry for feeling sorry for myslef

I am done apologizing now,
Because, I forgive me...

They say actions speak louder than words, if so,
Why do they pearce though the skin like a sharp knife all the way to my heart?
Why isn't there any effective medication to help me heal, to help me forget.
I may resolt to alcohol or get high now and then to drown my pain,
but we know what's high gotta come down,
And as I get lower and the alcohol departs my body, so does the pain return
I remember having a bad accident when I was 8 years old, very big painful scar on my face.
Pain was both physical and emotional
But looking at me now, I forgot I ever had one
It healed
**** this hurts like hell,
Pardon for I don't really know what Hell looks like, or how Hell feels,
But if there was ever a way to describe hell, it surely would be the way I feel now

For now, I'm letting go,
Pain can't hold me hostage no more
You got no hold on me no more
I'm setting myself free..

It's all said and done
You know you can't have your words back right?
You can't unspeak them
You can't unthink them
You can't retrieve them from my ears
For they are words,
The words you have said

Don't feel sorry for me now
No time for guilt now
What's has been done, has been done
You can't tumble and drown in regrets now
You can't go back
Wipe those tears now love,
They mean less to nothing now

Life is not a Personal Computer my friend
There is no Cntr + Alt + Del,
There's no undo, the Cntr + Z
No do overs
Yes my friend, you did it
Yes buddy, you said it

Forget about the yesterday now,
You never getting it back
But you are here now
We, are here now
So what?

It did hurt like hell, Yes
Do I wish I handn't heard it nor saw it, Yes
Do I wish you'd turn back the hands of time, denitely Yes
Oh how I so wish I had Harry Porter's wand and Hocus Pokus myslef out of this
How I so wish I someone could erase my memories,
Or how I wish they can pinch me, wake me up, and say "Lefa, wake now, it was just a nightmare"

Oh well, still doesn't change a thing,
Here we are, this very monent, this very time... So what now?

I met this young lady the other day
She said, "excuse me Mister, I know I don't know you but, I can't help but wanna talk to you"
I said what's wrong? She said, "you see, the thing is, I am afraid, I am scared, I am shaken"
"What's got you so frightened little miss? "
And she said "the thing is, I am scared I am falling"
"I am falling hard and I'm scared imma get hurt"
" Your looks, fashion, sense of style, the way you conduct yourself, got me falling "
"I know it's been only a couple of seconds but I can't help it"
"Thing is, I don't wanna fall unless I'm falling for you"
"I don't wanna trip-over"
"The only trip I want to have, is a trip down memory lane with you, when we are old, reminising about the good old times we shared together"
"You see mister, I don't wanna chase nobody, unless I'm running after your heart"
"I'm terrfied of these feelings mister"
"From the very first moment you waltzed passed, my breathing pattern became irregular"
"I felt like running 100 miles while standing still"
"Is this normal mister?"
"Of course it is little miss, and like any other phase, it will pass"
"See, like you little miss I once had a crush on someone"
"She told me the same words I'm going to say to you right now"
"You prince is somewhere out there"
"The one your heart rightfully belongs to"
"The one who will treat you like a princess"
"And when that moment comes, you will know"
"But as for me little miss, I have found a my Queen to my kingdom"
"So rest easy now little miss"
"And you know what, You don't need to be scared no more"...

Feels like walking in the Garden of Eden, looking at the forbidden fruit
I know it’s tasty, might even be healthy too
It is very beautiful
It looks worth it, is it?
But having a taste comes with consequences
My world could crumble, I could feel naked, and I could lose favor
Should I refrain, just let it be?
Should I give in, take all without a second thought?
Frustrations overwhelm me
Anger, Bitterness, Courage and Discourage
I didn’t water this garden, nor plant this tree
But should I watch as some random being takes it instead?
What if he enjoys, what if he doesn’t wanna let go, or what if one bite will be enough for him and throw it in the ground to rot?
Left to be food for ants and worms
What then? What if?
What if I could have saved it, harvested it with care
Could have made the best of it
Could’ve taken the seed to grow more
Water, nourish, and watch as the fruits bloom and blossom from the seed?
What if? What then? If not,
All I’ll sing is “I could’ve, should’ve, would’ve”…
And what I wouldn’t have is the most beautiful fruit in the garden, The only fruit I was told I shouldn’t have, I couldn’t have
What if that’s exactly what I should do?
Go against all odds, and get what I want, actually what I need
It must be the hunger talking, but I think I’m ready to give in, give up, and listen to my stomach
The only fear is what if I’m the worst thing to ever happen to it? What then? …