I heard that he was insane
That his feelings were uncontrollable
I heard he committed suicide
It sounds so incredibly horrible
I heard he was seeing a shrink
I heard he thought he was fine
I heard he told him,
told him he could call anytime
but when he really needed him
He was declined.
I heard his father
he told him to be a man
He told him he couldn’t
and would never understand
I wonder has the guilt
swallowed him whole
I wonder will anything
fill his now empty soul
I heard his girlfriend she said goodbye
she was sick of the whines and all his cries
he said he didn’t need her
he needed no one
but in the end we all know he needed someone
I heard he did it with a gun
I wonder if it hurt
I heard he couldn't take it
All the pain and all the hurt
I heard he had a brother
a mother and a dad
I saw them at the funeral
they were bitter sweetly sad
I wonder does a tiger cry
when a brother loses his life
I wonder can you catch a tiger with a tear in its eye?

You have to take criticism as is.
You can't throw a fit each and every time you get a dose.
If you can't handle it now.
You never will.
You should get congratulated for achievements.
But they're not all for simple achievements.

So your seventeen, and quitting smoking-
                Should you have been in the first place?
So your not pregnant-
                Should it have been a concern?
So you survived your over dose-
                Should you have popped those pills?

Actions have consequences.
Criticism lies beneath the soul.
If you can criticize, you can handle criticism in its glory.
Societies standards will always get you.
Don't misinterpret my words.
No need to be perfect.
Karma will corner you.
You turn to make a break
But this time you cannot fake and squirm your way out.
Set your standards higher.
If its recognition that your searching for.
You'll be searching until the end of days.
You want a clap?
Pat your self on the back.
Its your achievement.

Paranoia:
        Own it
Standards:
        Keep them
Mind:
        Open it
Ignorance:
        Destroy it

You have to control yourself.
Destroy the rage inside.
You've got a jet black mind and its bringing you down.
Down below the surface- becoming societies Barbie.
Put a smile on your face.
A frown in your jaw.
Hold it in until you can spill it all out.
Until life's grip has you ready to crawl.

So you had an abortion and your parents didn't find out...
            Are you proud?
So last night you got some action...
            Does it fill a void?
So now you sued you ex for all he's worth...
            Can you sleep at night?
So you slit that flesh again...
            Did it give a sense of relaxation?

Hold your paranoia.
In the end it will save you.
Cherish your paranoia.

I understand its difficult to over come life's addictions.
Its no joy ride.

I'm happy with what I do, with what I don't.
With who I am and how I've grown.
I am independent, I am strong, I am quiet, and I am loud.

I'm not knocking your priorities.
What you choose, don't complain.
Even if it causes you to lose or any kind of pain.
Don't act proud that you can stop.
An addiction is an addiction.
I'll believe it when I see it.
Don't snap when I give you an reality check.
Its not your first.
It won't be your last.

I'm not telling.
I'm only speaking the words of my brain.
Crazy, insane... but, it's what I feel and its something I had to explain.

As I take this yearned journey across the sea.
I learn from experience nothing is what the eye sees.
On and on we drift alone, noise's only of the splattering wave tone.
Time it drifts before we know, now it seems were forever alone.
The depth of the waters is cold as ice.
The fire from the sun hot enough to entice.

Flowing along on our silenced trip.
I discover a mystic ship.
A mirage perhaps? No, no.
What I see is nothing of sort.
It is indeed another boat.
Quick! Hurry. Were going to crash.

Hushed, staring thoughtless.
Mind numbing blankness.
We cannot speak; we cannot do.
We can only watch as it destroys us too.
Swiped away from our grace.
Quick its vanished before our face.

Can't stop, my rhythm, attraction, there is no control.
Ideally it would all fit like pieces of a puzzle
But nature is cruel
And this world we lean upon
Keeps on spinning even when were falling
It hurts to look back
Its scary to look ahead
Just put your trust into me, together we'll tread.
I know its not something you can easily believe
With every wrinkle of my lid, flashes a face.
Instant grin, creases, gives me a sense of grace.
Can't stop, my rhythm, attraction, there is no control.
Relief spills out as the speed turns to 70,
visions of blurred green and pavement all around me
Sky’s of blue but its hard to get past the grey,
the rain falls in sync with the tears in a freaky sort of way.
Can't stop, my rhythm, attraction, there is no control.

You deserve pain
But all you get is pleasure
It only brings you pain
Because you know you don't deserve better
Your life is lie
A treacherous scandal
You don't have anyone to grip
Nothing to help you handle
You can charm your way in and out of any situation
Make anyone fall under your devious temptation
Your mind is full of memories
You wish you didn't make
You wish you changed your life
Wish you didn't become such a fake
Your drugs are your life
Its what you've become
Nothing more than lifeless
Nothing more than numb
But on the outside
You appear normal
And in your state of mind,its nothing paranormal
And deep in your soul, the truth of who you are
You know what you have done
And nothing now
Can change what you've become
Behind who people think you are
Your nothing but a loser
A man that could have been
What many never get to be

Your sunny smile; a gift of radiance
Your scent, full of wondrous fragrant
Your bright eyes; vivid and blazing
Its you, that I am always craving

Shining intensely you glimmer and daze
You put my mind in a hazy place
My fairy tale; armored and surreal
I cannot give, you’re my Achilles heel

You never fail, to amaze and woo
With the way you move
and your nonchalant attitude

Your lustrous laughter
Saturates my ears
Your ravishing words
Can bring me to tears

You fill me with frustration
and a little bit of gloom
Its lust and trust knowing
That’s lead my to you

Sadness and torment
Fill your mind
With ideas of slow decent
Bounded by your
Damaged eyes
Its a dreaded meal
That you swallow
Understandable
Your feelings of hallow
My eyes soften as you
Explain this pain
hatred, no desire
I see you flicker
Like a candle
Dripping wax
Hardening around you
Your soul drying out
As you scream in pain
I want only for you
To lay in rest
And close your busy eyes
Burn these thoughts of sadness
Dull them away
Like Grey cloudy days
Suppressed by heavy rain