As I stare at the face in the mirror I think
It would look good through the window
of a casket

where time and decay can touch it
away from peering eyes

when all the thoughts are

              what she could have been

                                            what she was

and not

                                                               what she failed to be


So many have sealed their fates as legends
by dying
young

Like fireworks
that fly high and burst
as the crowd ooohs and ahhhs


I don't want to be the stars
hung forever
burning

burning
until everyone forgets their beauty

for in a crowd of white dwarfs
so few become supernovas
and there is always the risk
of becoming
a self-destructive
drag others down with you

black hole.

These scars are my battle wounds
a reward after a long troubled battle with myself
but I won in the end
a symbolic trophy that my struggle is nowhere near over
I am left with the scars
scars where once a crimson red river flowed from them
scars healing over making dams barricading the red monster under them
to feel the sting of the blade in my hands once more
a natural high
the dams don't stand a chance against my new weapon of mass destruction
they will crumble and open at the very touch of the metal to skin
they have to
I have to feel that sensation once again
let the dams break open and the war begin.

Dearly departed, we are gathered here today
To gaze in quiet wonder at the beauty of the grave
To remark in awe and gander at the body that here lies
And to spy the stiffened cheekbones beneath her sunken eyes
How pretty can a smile be when placed upon her corpse
While the fruit she has brought us leaks at life's divorce

But the truth is not a tragedy that we have underwent
And timing is imperfect, but in our breast is evident
So let us gather here to celebrate the Joyus Chorus' call
Let's join our hands to embrace the death of one and all

Your body is always warm
Your hands are always rough
The words that left your mouth melted into one long, faint whisper
Unmatched to the power of your dull blue eyes

LOOK AT ME WHEN YOU SPEAK
I hate when you don't look at me
I want to feel your thoughts,
Not hear them...
S h o w  m e  y o u  m e a n  i t

After that moment, your eyes were permanently glued to mine
Nobody has ever looked at me like that
Constant peering at the remnants of my soul,
and my heart,
and whatever else is inside there that
H u r t s  s o  b a d

STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT
I don't want you to see me like this...
Sad, angry, sad again
I'm doing you a favor, I swear
Just stop looking at me like that

I want to give you every piece of me that is left
But the fear of you not liking what you get
Rattles my bones so loud when I'm with you
And even louder when you're gone

It hurts, baby
I t  j u s t  ******* i n g  h u r t s

Is this what love feels like?