Don't shake you say.
Relax.
Breathe.
Calm down.
I'm here.


My body trembles in your arms.
My breath shallow, labored.
My eyes wide with fear.
My mind consumed in agony.
Welcome the anxiety.


I'm claimed by a monster
It's claws (sharp enough to **** my hope)
Tear at my heart.
It's eyes (reflections of darkest nightmares)
Show me the worst.
It's words (harsh, terrifying, destructive)
Scare me.
It's presence (the air turns dark, no way out)
Reduce me to a sobbing pile of fear.


let me go
please let me go
i'm trapped in my mind
**let me out

Tears trail familiar cheek bones.
Pick up your pen and paper
Chocked cries echo in silence.
Don't drop your pen and paper
Turmoil tears the inside.
Press down your pen to paper

Allow all the words to move you.
As your pen dances on paper
Let loose the ink to fly free and wild.
Just put your pen to paper
Wonderful worlds might crash and burn.
But you can put your pen to paper

Do you feel that healing magic?
As you remove your pen from paper
Can you feel your heart grow light?
As you rest your tired pen from paper
Do you know what it feels like?
*When you put your pen to paper

The whistle of the train drifts into my morning ears
Delicate fingers of light brush through my hair,
Illuminating my face
Floating, flying through my  being:

An innocent climbs the mountain
to the window far above her bed.
Two blue eyes yearning for a peek.
She looks for the distant train track,
as if she might peer hard enough through the trees
that she'd catch a glimpse of her beloved transport.
Maybe, just maybe, it would stop, take her away.
She closes her eyes, and imagines being a black bird.
Twisting, tumbling, turning
in the air above the ancient steam powered train.
Fly free, Fly fast.
If she races, she might just get away.

I open my baby-blues, and she disappears
as though she were sand,
drifting away on the  wind.
She drifts away from me.

Days roll by in a melancholy chaos.
Bumping along,
banging into each other as if they've spent
all night face first in a bottle.
They soon become unrecognizable
as individuals.
Is that yesterday?
Today?
Tomorrow?

Blurred beyond my vision,
rest blue skies.
Welcoming as a grandmother with a look of affection,
soft brown eyes.
Can I break the cycle?
The disconsolate linger?
The emptiness?

Steady earth
unsteady under my feet.
It's as though I've dizzied my exhausted body
just through standing.
Where do I walk?
Rest?
Fall?

A warm coat on a snowy day
Words meant to be said
Stories told over and over
To-Do lists left in her head
Promises made
Bowtie for a worker’s uniform
A pair of red gloves
Umbrellas in a storm
A charger for a phone
Many different passwords used
A library book now overdue
And lessons learned too
Places which have been explored
Goals which have been made
Random keepsakes they hoard
The way that things have changed
Textbooks for a class
What makes someone strange
Combinations to a lock
Setting the alarm clock

She stares through cracked glass

                                                   Wetness reddens her cheek, and her deep blue oceans are puffy

She watches me

                                                    I pluck at  my skin, at my fingers

She pleads me to stop

                                                   The compulsion urges me to continue

She knows my heart

                                                   Wishing it would heal not hurt

She reaches out

                                                    I cannot take her hand while I'm picking at my skin

She is trapped behind broken glass

                                                    There­ is nothing she can do

She allows tears to roll down her cheeks*

                                                     As I tear at myself

In a a moment, they breathe their last
Their soul can in smoke escape
There is no more pain from their past
Given a coin, their being now reshape

The innocence is gone
Twenty precious ones have fallen
The angels cease their song
Their guide to Styx is calling

Over the river they must travel
To meet the Lady and Lord
The dead waters have no current to babble
now that the Fates have cut short almost thirty cords

Greet everyday,
eyes full of tears for her loss
He wonders of what

Known in the morning-
but gone by the night
Through his hands like sand

Meeting new people
though they are the same
Doctors can't help him

Where have the times gone
Identities learned anew
A mind lost to age

Up the Stairs,
              Turn and then another flight.
                               But she doesn't care.
                          Her tiny feet stomp across the ground

                                                   pat-pat-pat-pat-pat-pat

              Her smile grows wide as the great...
                                                        ­                        vast...
                                 ­                                                           sea.
 ­                                                                 ­                                             She finally arrives at the door.
                                 She is so small, her tiny heart is bursting with excitement.
                                                     ­             
                               thump-boom-boom-thump-boom-boom

             With a gleeful squeal she pushes open the door, as mother follows exhausted....
                                            chasing­ her little one

  When she enters, the smell of knowledge greets her nose in welcome
                                                         ­                            she inhales deeply                      
                                                                ­                                                                 ­                her young mind
                                                            ­                                                                 ­                              yearning...
                                                 The forest of books
                                        the voices whisper to her from all around

A kindly face peeks at her from behind a desk,
                                                                ­            behind glasses which rest on a nose
                                                            ­                                                    a nose nestled in sacred text

                              the small hand points to the volumes:
                                                       desiring....hoping.....praying
             From behind the desk,
                                               a smile, understanding
                                                 ­                                                                 ­               a nod

Joyous! Glorious!...a leap of exhilaration
                                                    ­                                         small feet make their sprint once again

                                                          ­           *pat-pat-pat-pat-pat-pat

Into the car drearily I go
There's no avoiding it, this I know
Headphones are in; world is out
As the music comes on, I try not to pout
I stare out the window full of despair
Every Sunday morning, it's the same affair

As I watch the rolling hills, trees, and skies
The image of a lone raven reaches my eyes
He's sitting atop a branch, seemingly divine
His piercing dark eyes are looking to mine
I smile widely, knowing why he appears
He leaps from the tree, his flight easing my fears
He soars through the air, the master of the wind
In our hearts I know we are kin
As he disappears, I see the grass flutter
In the flowing air, the trees too shudder
I know the winds and know their names
I hear their voices making their claims
When I see the sun, in his bright glory
I met a smiling face who recites me a story
A story on the wind, of fires and dancing
A story of forests and May Day romancing
A story of ancestors and honor and pride
A story of candles and spirits that guide
The story is my comfort as we continue to drive
I find myself feeling suddenly alive

But soon my time in the car has come to an end
I say goodbye to my natural friends
Away from my weekly prison, I wish I could fly
Fly past the cross and over the sky
But I’m no raven that soars through the clouds
I am a child stuck on the ground.

The                      Gods                             are                   jubilantly            treading                  today

Gods                     and                         Nymphs                dance,                 freely               everywhere

are                     Nymphs                    whispers                  silent                     on                  wind

jubilantly            dance,                        silent                       leaves                deepest              wishes

treading              freely                            on                        deepest               desire                  for        

today               everywhere                     wind                     wishes                   for                    peace

I'm running about with my mind scattered around,
There you sit quietly alone on the ground.
I hardly see you, I'm in such a hurry.
As I whirl past your image is blurry.

When I stop for a moment to eat my meal,
You soft, quiet voice makes an appeal.
I don't even hear you, I'm not paying attention.
Your story begins with misapprehension.

When you notice how little my ears are hearing,
You become quiet depressed, your voice disappearing.
My response to this; agitated, and sharp.
Naturally, not failing to go straight through your heart.
"Darling, please, I'm quite busy today.
Yes, of course I'm listening, but remind me: What did you say?"

But to you the message is already made clear:
You are negligible, and my apology completely insincere.
There, your self-worth is crushed under my shoe.
You sit back quietly, shrouded in blue.

I brush off your discouragement, I have no time to spare.
As I rush out the door, you are left, though it may be unfair.
Sometimes things are just as they appear.
I am too preoccupied, and the top of my priorities you are no where near.

The shadows play across the wall
Out to you their voices call
"Little one, why don't you run?
You know your days will soon be done."
In your blankets, your head does hide
To your teddy bear, your fears confide
The monsters, imps, and demons stay
Until the breaking light of day
You'll never sleep, they taunt you so
Their tortures you will under go
But do not fear, my little child
You will not be beguiled
The terrors in the darkened room
Your reality do not assume
You'll be fine, just close your eyes
In the morning, the sun will rise
Life will become once more plain
Until the night does come again

Maybe I want to hold you
in my arms.
Maybe you want to stay with me
until the dawn.
Maybe I want to kiss you
gentle and sweet
Maybe you want to  sing with me
proud and strong

Maybe you want to bake with me
make cookies and crumbs
Maybe I want to laugh with you
like we're headed for an asylum
Maybe you want to hold hands with me
We'll twiddle our thumbs
Maybe I want to play in the snow with you
Until my body is numb

Maybe we can spend some time
Just being to together
Maybe we can stay right here
Forever and ever

A blue sky above us is watching.
We're stopping
We stare at the night
Snow falls like a memory of some distant place
Some distant time when you were wholly, completely mine
Sunsets remember our laughter and grins
Underneath their colors, alongside our sins
Chase me down the path
a photograph
Curious beginning days