Don't shake you say.
Relax.
Breathe.
Calm down.
I'm here.


My body trembles in your arms.
My breath shallow, labored.
My eyes wide with fear.
My mind consumed in agony.
Welcome the anxiety.


I'm claimed by a monster
It's claws (sharp enough to **** my hope)
Tear at my heart.
It's eyes (reflections of darkest nightmares)
Show me the worst.
It's words (harsh, terrifying, destructive)
Scare me.
It's presence (the air turns dark, no way out)
Reduce me to a sobbing pile of fear.


let me go
please let me go
i'm trapped in my mind
**let me out

Tears trail familiar cheek bones.
Pick up your pen and paper
Chocked cries echo in silence.
Don't drop your pen and paper
Turmoil tears the inside.
Press down your pen to paper

Allow all the words to move you.
As your pen dances on paper
Let loose the ink to fly free and wild.
Just put your pen to paper
Wonderful worlds might crash and burn.
But you can put your pen to paper

Do you feel that healing magic?
As you remove your pen from paper
Can you feel your heart grow light?
As you rest your tired pen from paper
Do you know what it feels like?
*When you put your pen to paper

The whistle of the train drifts into my morning ears
Delicate fingers of light brush through my hair,
Illuminating my face
Floating, flying through my  being:

An innocent climbs the mountain
to the window far above her bed.
Two blue eyes yearning for a peek.
She looks for the distant train track,
as if she might peer hard enough through the trees
that she'd catch a glimpse of her beloved transport.
Maybe, just maybe, it would stop, take her away.
She closes her eyes, and imagines being a black bird.
Twisting, tumbling, turning
in the air above the ancient steam powered train.
Fly free, Fly fast.
If she races, she might just get away.

I open my baby-blues, and she disappears
as though she were sand,
drifting away on the  wind.
She drifts away from me.

Days roll by in a melancholy chaos.
Bumping along,
banging into each other as if they've spent
all night face first in a bottle.
They soon become unrecognizable
as individuals.
Is that yesterday?
Today?
Tomorrow?

Blurred beyond my vision,
rest blue skies.
Welcoming as a grandmother with a look of affection,
soft brown eyes.
Can I break the cycle?
The disconsolate linger?
The emptiness?

Steady earth
unsteady under my feet.
It's as though I've dizzied my exhausted body
just through standing.
Where do I walk?
Rest?
Fall?

A warm coat on a snowy day
Words meant to be said
Stories told over and over
To-Do lists left in her head
Promises made
Bowtie for a worker’s uniform
A pair of red gloves
Umbrellas in a storm
A charger for a phone
Many different passwords used
A library book now overdue
And lessons learned too
Places which have been explored
Goals which have been made
Random keepsakes they hoard
The way that things have changed
Textbooks for a class
What makes someone strange
Combinations to a lock
Setting the alarm clock

She stares through cracked glass

                                                   Wetness reddens her cheek, and her deep blue oceans are puffy

She watches me

                                                    I pluck at  my skin, at my fingers

She pleads me to stop

                                                   The compulsion urges me to continue

She knows my heart

                                                   Wishing it would heal not hurt

She reaches out

                                                    I cannot take her hand while I'm picking at my skin

She is trapped behind broken glass

                                                    There­ is nothing she can do

She allows tears to roll down her cheeks*

                                                     As I tear at myself