My expenditure of time has dwindled
as protocol has cut short daydreams,
and filled my head with numbers and letters
and writing takes up half the hours of light.

I miss the nights of sleepily lazing about
on exaggerated sheets and solitary satisfaction,
where care flew by me on its way to work
leaving me waiting under the sun shade.

Dreams are now filled with longings and hopes
for the heat and cooling winds of freedom,
that will unbind me from responding to reality
as it will be on hold until further notice from Fall.

two souls stared out into the sea
silent among the sifted sand
searching for answers in the dark

it never occurred to bring light
or come by during the day
as if the sun could clear their sight

clouds uncovered the waxing moon
but half way through its travels
a faint glimmer rested there

through speech circles are wound
this they knew of the short years
so quiet was the bond kept

only waiting of the eyes
a hope of catching the hidden hope
their hearts had yet to know

We were burning
Hands ice cold to the touch
Caught on fire
And nowhere to run.

You gave me light
I gave you warmth
Lit with a bolt
Brought on by the storm.

Yet kindle wanes
Like stone erodes
And a roaring flame
Breaks off into streams.

You will not catch
Each drop of gold
Nor can you dig
To find the stone.

Ashes to ashes
Dust to dust
We cannot thrive
Upon ground earth.

Keeping your hands in your pockets won't keep you warm
in the cold air of a winter night
raging against the warmth of a fire and a place to rest your head
acceptance and satisfaction cracking your lips

The key in a puddle carved like a knife
shattering the icy calm of the little pool
reflecting the thunder clouds above your head
looming like scissors over a barely blooming rosebud

Calamity and discord seems to be your comfort
or are those lies I see glaring in your obtrusive eyes
silence is the last thing you could ever hear
unless it's the cries of a helpless child sighing into the night

Hope never abandoned you
I watched as you burned the unscented candles
the wax waning and the smoke dissapating in contempt
your fingers dancing in the last dip of flame

I watched you disappear into the coming season
observing the ground as you tread
leaving a dull key in that evaporated puddle
the wax molded to your hand and a burn on your palm

drink in what is and what won't be
the second your eyes drift away
let it sink in that time will never see
how it affects us physically each day

accept the old and accept the new
as their existence so much like ours
will never be eternal and like the dew
disappears into the light as stars

memories fray and our beings wilt
beneath the constant flow of change
and so much like the earth's tilt
our lives are just so easily rearranged

now breathe in the air right before you
love the people and places you pass
and when your heart beats become few
believe that this jump can never be the last

I am twined with the viper
coiled below his breathing scales
where heat takes the place of air
and light shimmers with tinted green

he holds me up to his mirrors
reflecting many frightened eyes
intended to succumb to their fate
when the world can't see their cries

his slit ears hear no sighing sound
his slant eyes see no ongoing struggle
his tongue flickers in the taste of hunger
as we are about to become one

I never left with a parting glance
nor kissed my loves goodbye
nor could I ever pray to any god
because I am twined with the viper

uncertainty is the concrete that binds me
as the sands of time rapidly increase upon my shore
and fate's strings aren't even tugging now
because indecision is who i've come to implore

seekIng blade and drug

Without drIve, simpLe reason

sLeep, endless dreams

yet unmoving

sTill cOnscioUs, only watChing

cannot toucH...

will noT toucH

do not darE to touch

dissatisfaction in simplicity

keeping sanity or insanity

whicheVer it mAy be

unrelentinG desire

the pUrsuit cannot bE...

will not be escaPe

can only be complication

obliqUe undeRstanding

thE hazy LIGHT

bury me in your arms

like the eternal grave

where light won't blind

my eyes from your face

and my peacefulness grows

with each muscle strained

capturing me forever

in your warm embrace

footsteps placed carefully
alone in a dark stairwell
girl do you know if
the echoes are heard

sliding of gravel
cracking under bare touch
furling of fingers
clench the shivering teeth

slow breath
quiet breath
listening for nothing
looking into a void

no light, no light
no voice, no figure
yet following close
closing in too quick

motionless and moving
light whispers
omnipotent and unwavering
girl where do you run

guessing for sight
calloused fingertips
against empty walls
surrounded and surrounding

light brush of sound
heart like a drum
dead end, dead end
the reaping of life

I know my name as it is called again
there is a cold and bittersweet ring
every time someone calls for me
the heat may be missing as it had flown
from your mouth so many days
but the shackle of that false name
has fallen to the floor before us
slowly I will learn it's meaning
and discover how it classifies me
but I will render the name you uttered
in that precocious way you had,
useless

love,
the most destructive
vulnerability

obstructed by the custom
of guarded humility
that can never pursue
any interest in purity
to keep the living whole
in peace and endless security

     oh, violent vulnerability
     slighted by my words
     whom betray nothing
     of my heart's mind
     but clear cut diamonds
     of the coolest civility
     for mild understanding
     to chain the enraged truth
     seeking to speak
     through these irises
     the purest contradiction
     to the ice burning skin

I found myself alone
in the cold dusk
at the crease between
night and day

Over my shoulder the illusive flesh of light
meagerly permeated through refracting clouds
above an ocean enclosed from my view
by lulling hills and warming homes

My hands finally quiet
my legs began their routine stretch
for the solitary walk to the local cafe
where heat anticipated the arrival
of my cooled skin

It wasn't the element of instant gratification
that spun the anxious gears
mechanizing in my chilled blood
but the thought that

Had I not taken the time to strengthen my relations
with the setting that was to remain my home
for the next few years

I would become just another lapse in time
among the earth's surface

The windows never reflecting my spiritualistic limbs

My home untouched by the graces of fond strangers

The light always before me never behind
in that distant place shielded by panes and lenses
and the hungering sky

So I found myself alone
silently walking along
a dimming sidewalk
to a warmer place
with the diluted light filtering
through refracted clouds
against my back

Walk two moons down the same road
Where willows weep and widows moan
And hasty eyes do turn away
Forgetting you ever passed their way.

Do not stop at the lover's inn
Traverse your glance across its doors
He will not be waiting in the window
Searching for your figure more.

Tears may spill and you may sigh
While you bid the roses sweet goodbye
And mournful melody pulls you on
Towards the light of that new dawn.

I am still caught in your wake
as I'm sure you are left in mine
we were but stones skipping
across thrashing waters
never meant to flow smoothly
but to sink in separate places
you upon the ocean floor
where one day fate will push
you back to the shores
and I in some forgotten pond
still and shallow but
forever I shall remain whole
and while you mold yourself
back together, you will never
be made the same again
but for I who may still
be submerged, when the
water dries naturally
from someone else's sun
I will still be who I once was

I can't really describe the feeling
of having everything
taken away from you
by someone you love
in only a few seconds

years of happiness

trust

comfort

all lost
in the synapses
of a few

short

words

there is no song
to lift your spirits
no face you wish to see
and any sort of allusion
to romance
sends you back into the very moment
they said the word                                      
                                                         "good-bye"

there is a deprivation of joy-
in the day
overwhelming loneliness-
in the night

the warmth is gone from your side
and someone is missing
from your dreams

that future you sometimes dared to think of
is crushed and shattered before your eyes

but you still have to get up each morning
                                                         ­               
                                                                ­         alone

and it's torture

and you're crying again

and the phone doesn't ring

and you're just sitting there asking

why?

I wish you caught my lips
moving in sync with a frame
of a song you weren't hearing
as you looked into my eyes

"But how could I know

they are wonderful liars
unlike my truthful mouth
that can never keep a secret
but it kept secrets from you

that everything you say

silently dropping hints
of my flowing love for you
and the discontent I felt
when you easily walked away

are lies about devotion and desire

never understood why I waited
in the dust drifting behind
full of your wavering feelings
that flecked my skin in gold

and I know the spark

it stained me with illusions
that if I mouthed my love
in accordance to the songs
maybe once you would listen

inside your eyes

yet here I am again by your side
singing without speaking
eyes wide open and hollow
my heart caught in my throat

was just the match I used

but you aren't where love is
you are swimming in mahogany pools
while I whisper my secrets
in place of where you should be

*to set myself on fire."

I hadn't realized I was waiting
until satisfaction came
in the form of a few shallow words
holding the deepest meaning
in my heart and tears