Perception would be reality if a daydream were the day
A nightmare would be the night if it had its way
A candle would be life if fire was its essence
And haze would be so clear if the truth was not so dense.

to dream of flight would be betrayal
of the promise I made spurred by memory
that can never forget your afterimage
burned behind my sleeping eyes

faint fears have begun to make a tremble
in this mind weakened by such pain
that if again caution is thrown to the wind
it would forever vanish into the sky

I have given you light in our darkness
a voice to follow in our violent wake
but should this fate befall us once more
in those dreams I fear I will begin to dwell

I beg us give no reason to find fault within
and keep us in reach of the sun's warmth
that if there comes a day when caution leaves
I won't regret that I did not give chase

an empty room
swallowed by the storm inside
as thunder roars outside
rain painting the roof black
wind tearing at the walls
as voices lash like echoes of a whip
loud and berating
windows shaking from the severity
all else is silence and waiting
after the screaming
after crying
after the laughter
after sleep
after dreams of lost days
opening eyes to realization
that the tender feelings
had                 long ago
      
        *departed

Give into me
I am desire
No need to wait
I am fire

Give into me
I am lust
Feel your way
I am trust

Give into me
I am greed
Twist and turn
I am need

Give into me
I am light
No need for wings
I am flight

bury me in your arms

like the eternal grave

where light won't blind

my eyes from your face

and my peacefulness grows

with each muscle strained

capturing me forever

in your warm embrace

Oh silly little bird
Weren’t you ever told
If you play with the snake
Death will take hold

footsteps placed carefully
alone in a dark stairwell
girl do you know if
the echoes are heard

sliding of gravel
cracking under bare touch
furling of fingers
clench the shivering teeth

slow breath
quiet breath
listening for nothing
looking into a void

no light, no light
no voice, no figure
yet following close
closing in too quick

motionless and moving
light whispers
omnipotent and unwavering
girl where do you run

guessing for sight
calloused fingertips
against empty walls
surrounded and surrounding

light brush of sound
heart like a drum
dead end, dead end
the reaping of life

sleep is no escape
to my swelling mind
as dawn creeps in slowly
while rest leaves me behind
I can no longer find the comfort
other may find inside their dreams
instead my gaze is left to quietly shift
among the shape shifting ceiling beams
I'm not sure if lonely is the right word used
to describe the nights I do spend silently awake
but there is something missing from inside myself
a vast emptiness that with sleep I could hope to slake
otherwise their is no hope for this poor insomniac
who daydreams in the night of the possibilities
that will allow me to fall into deep slumber
and spare me from their shallow pities
I will close my eyes before the sun
peeks over the wall above view
and sleep becomes escape
into dreams of you

You've seen her, probably more than once
she holds her body to your eyes
but don't get too close, she breathes fire
and lust and smoke from cigarettes

She comes to life in the moonlight
glows in the sun, illuminating her essence
while hiding the dark sins
glowering in her heart like embers
of hate and pity and disgust

In her head is only room for fun
pure enjoyment as you struggle
only wood under her feet, piling higher
she dances above you
where your cries and pleas do not reach
she is in with the gods
telling secrets that bring men to their knees

the day i turn 18 i think i'll vanish
leaving behind a puff of smoke
i don't need much, just a bag
full of clothes, money, one picture
the one of us standing before
the cliffs that lead off into the water
under a blue sky in Big Sur
i won't leave a letter for anyone
not my family, friends, or you
i'm thinking i'll find myself
in a place somewhere far away
untouched by every influence
i've been fed since life began
cause right now i can't be honest
about who i am or how i feel
i'm only running round in circles
of never ending questions and puzzles
all the while receiving silence
there are no answers to be found here
but they must exist deep inside
but i can't focus with all the noise
so away is my only choice to go
until then i can't feel need nor desire
no want, assurance, or acceptance
so the day i turn 18 magic will happen
and i will vanish before your eyes

uncertainty is the concrete that binds me
as the sands of time rapidly increase upon my shore
and fate's strings aren't even tugging now
because indecision is who i've come to implore

seekIng blade and drug

Without drIve, simpLe reason

sLeep, endless dreams

yet unmoving

sTill cOnscioUs, only watChing

cannot toucH...

will noT toucH

do not darE to touch

dissatisfaction in simplicity

keeping sanity or insanity

whicheVer it mAy be

unrelentinG desire

the pUrsuit cannot bE...

will not be escaPe

can only be complication

obliqUe undeRstanding

thE hazy LIGHT

two souls stared out into the sea
silent among the sifted sand
searching for answers in the dark

it never occurred to bring light
or come by during the day
as if the sun could clear their sight

clouds uncovered the waxing moon
but half way through its travels
a faint glimmer rested there

through speech circles are wound
this they knew of the short years
so quiet was the bond kept

only waiting of the eyes
a hope of catching the hidden hope
their hearts had yet to know

I am following an old dirt path
Hoping it will take me far far away
Where thoughts of you can't follow
And plead my resolve to sway

I refuse to believe in false love
Just so I can be near to you
My first love, one in my heart
Oh how can you be so cruel

I truly wanted this to last
This was not some wanton affair
Your lack of complete passion
Has left me in fits of despair

I will not find my way back to you
No, I dare not to turn around
The only thing leading me forward
Is the absolute silence of sound

You're wallwork. A painted face on the mural we call life. You exist for no purpose, yet you live for reasons unbeknownst to all but the scholars who breathe, speak, and dream life itself.

Who are we to tell tales of God? Of the soul residing in the hearth of our bodies, gradually decaying as time endlessly presses onward, following the path that even our ancestors couldn't conquer.

What do we truly know of Heaven and Hell but the stories of those who have travelled along the brink of life and death, visiting those realms of angels and demons; uninvited but wholly welcome if their stay were for eternity. Only to be brought back by a capricious wind, calling their wayward spirit home.

What right do we have to make assumptions about the very essence that gives us our existence? Our only right is to live. Whether as part of the wallwork that holds the very fabric of life together, or as a star that shines brightly and burns out in a fiery burst, leaving nothing but a trail of dust.

I hadn't realized I was waiting
until satisfaction came
in the form of a few shallow words
holding the deepest meaning
in my heart and tears

We were burning
Hands ice cold to the touch
Caught on fire
And nowhere to run.

You gave me light
I gave you warmth
Lit with a bolt
Brought on by the storm.

Yet kindle wanes
Like stone erodes
And a roaring flame
Breaks off into streams.

You will not catch
Each drop of gold
Nor can you dig
To find the stone.

Ashes to ashes
Dust to dust
We cannot thrive
Upon ground earth.

I can't really describe the feeling
of having everything
taken away from you
by someone you love
in only a few seconds

years of happiness

trust

comfort

all lost
in the synapses
of a few

short

words

there is no song
to lift your spirits
no face you wish to see
and any sort of allusion
to romance
sends you back into the very moment
they said the word                                      
                                                         "good-bye"

there is a deprivation of joy-
in the day
overwhelming loneliness-
in the night

the warmth is gone from your side
and someone is missing
from your dreams

that future you sometimes dared to think of
is crushed and shattered before your eyes

but you still have to get up each morning
                                                         ­               
                                                                ­         alone

and it's torture

and you're crying again

and the phone doesn't ring

and you're just sitting there asking

why?

walls are crumbling
ultimately complete
destruction of self

where does your heart lie?
                                                    ... I'm not sure
do you cry or sleep at night?
                                                        ..­. neither
can you remember your dreams?
                                                         ­   ... never

the air is still, stale
shelves left untouched
bed sheets left unmade
door locked too tightly

whispers are heard from beyond
day shifts into night outside panes
but the curtains are drawn
and everything is dark, shapeless, and vague

what do you do all day?
                                                ... nothing
what are you thinking?
                                                       ... nothing
how are you feeling?
                                                        ­      ... empty