~

Taking a trip through my own history, and
suddenly
I have met nostalgia.
Sifting through the mass of hoarded supplies
I find many pencils of times past.

In both ways physical and spiritual
they have traveled the world, and
they have been influential for me.

Some the second life for a tree, and
saturated with the oils of Morocco;
while others, mechanical in their composition, with
beach sand captured in each chamber.

These utensils carrying memories, and
on into the future with destiny to be determined.

~

On an early September evening
we are sitting outside together under moonlight.
Above us a black velvet sky sprinkled with diamonds;
the light of the stars dazzling on that night.

The infinite in the sky, it was nothing.
Quite dull seemed the moonlight and the stars.
They could never compare to the way they reflected in your eyes.
I'll remind you darling, I got lost in them; trapping me in behind bars.

As I lost myself in the way the moonlight reflected in your eyes,
our souls coalesce into oneness.
Within our beings I was able to feel a connection,
you glowed where once lay my void and emptiness.

How do I remain awake without your light?
Where do I get lost without your eyes?
I become cold without the radiation from your heart.
An emptiness lie where your heartbeat sang in rhythm with mine.

I find expression of my inner self
     in putting pencil to the paper.
There's a reason I trust paper
     more than people.
Paper can't talk back;
     it can't judge you,
No critique.
It lets you take things back.
If you're writing in pencil,
                      that is.

It was only the first night I met you, and I knew
I could get lost in the way the moonlight reflected in your eyes.
But it was nothing compared to your heart,
Your heart and the way it beat in rhythm with mine.

And so that night, and every night,
I did get lost in the way the moonlight reflected in your eyes
But it was nothing compared to the way I saw myself,
When I saw myself reflected in your eyes

And now I will never forget that day,
The day that took a piece of me forever.
Now exists a darkness so deep,
The darkness is threatening to swallow me whole.

And now today, and every day,
I miss seeing the way the moonlight reflects in your eyes,
I miss feeling the synchronized beat of your heart with mine,
And most deeply, I miss the unity of our souls when our eyes met.

As I gaze at the cityscape from atop this tall roof,
I can't help but feel ignited, a fulfilled desire.
"From up here the city lights burn,
like a thousand miles of fire."

And suddenly I forget why I came to the roof,
I am only concerned with absorbing the moment.
My soul drinks up the occasion with the thirst
of a lifetime craving, so then it went.

The bliss, the fire, the ecstasy, the moment...
It was only. One. Moment. before it slipped away.
For a high is not a high without a low,
and it is the low we experience day to day.

Anger.  Hurt.
      Confusion.  Shock.

Detachment from awareness, I was vulnerable.
The Dark Place was able to shake me again.

"Darkness cannot survive in the presence of light."

I was fearing a disturbing reality
until the salvation of light pulled stronger.

Your soul, my soul, manifesting connection in light.
You are light in my life; light in my life is you.

Never again will I see the moonlight reflected in your eyes,
But looking to the sky, the moon and starts have a new luminosity.

Darkness encasing the long day passed
the Final Stage is coming at last
this is the part where It comes to a Close
what this Absence holds, no one knows
many correlate with a long time Fear
but the Unknown Realm is drawing near
Understanding of this Closing Time lacks
but it is understood that It will come back
what must be overcome is this Hesitation
possible with such repeat Visitation

Dozens of dreams
  rough dreams
   fun dreams
    beautiful dreams

They are all
  ******* in my sheets
   but you're never there,
    never there.

N
    e
      v
        e
          r

        h
          e
    ­        r
              e
  to rescue me,
   to save me.
    Why are you never here?
  (someone else always is)

All of this began as a dream
     the most vivid vision.
It felt like looking into the future
     this time, it was the unknown.
The hard truth I was about to learn;
     the weather was calm, the season was new;
     the water flowing around us was fresh.
Then I looked up to see your face,
     my eyes returned down,
     to see mine reflected on the water's surface.
I felt the significance was shallow,
     little did I know it was all about the creek
     that carried you alone to the river.
I never knew the downhill flow to be so treacherous.
The longest moment, all so terrifying;
I couldn't wake up, it was my real-life nightmare.