waking up and feeling completely lost is a feeling not many people know,
waiting for life to bring you peace is a feeling I will have to let go
"I should just keep to myself, "I say as my only other friend is anxiety
why do I care, why? why? , as I begin to realize that anxiety is an aching pain sort of like a cavity, not something you can see or touch just feel.
"Write it down or simply stop it"!!!
I scream !!!!!
it's not easy when im on the verge of trembling down and hitting the floor, hands shivering and eyes filled with tears
I finally feel released from everything I fear.

Every single day I walk in with a smile on my face, centering myself and hiding my heart from tainted hands

As I sit there and listen to every heartbeat, my body creates the sound of loneliness guiding me down a deep state of sadness

it started as a feeling that turned into madness, selling lies, smiles, heartbeats like a store with a special sale

its time to hit the road and say my goodbye's to the person I once was and say hello to the person I'm starting to become. ✌️

A long time ago I gave up on being me I stared at myself in the mirror and its as if I was a whole different person, I let myself die in someone's arm and all I could feel was the heat from his body. suddenly all the pain, anxiety, and depression left my body and I felt whole again this feeling made me burst in tears cause  it was the best  feeling  in the world ..... he fixed what was broken inside  me and built me up from nothing, as he spread his wings I said teach me to fly and at  that moment I knew he was the one .

I always have these ugly thoughts some I even fought so they would not reach the surface of my light, I grew as a person and finally stretched my wings to fly, but I'm thinking my heart feel like a broken car (used, and passed down), it hurts to express these feeling that only bring negativity into my life , I forbid myself to see those sides again  I wasn't made to be thrown in someone arms and shine bright like a candles pure light . I've held myself from being torn apart, I'm a seed in the soil waiting to sprout and feel the rays of the sun just so I can bloom and be what I've always wanted to be, the power that courses within is sheltering me from the world. what is the definition of shelter? if everything that gets thrown at me pierces my skin and leave me marks I always have to remember. I said farewell to the scars as I simply laid in a supine position and took in everything that was great at the moment and slowly drifted away from all this hurt and became nothing but blank.

your rose scented perfume is like heaven in human form, nothing that can be compared to any other. your smile makes me go the extra mile,  an angel singing its marvelous, but I will rather stay with you, I hope that in the upcoming years you find the love of your life, someone who treats you like a queen causes you to deserve the moon, stars and the whole world beneath your feet, when I see you my heart, skips a beat because who knew that a rose can be reincarnated into human form what can I say someone as beautiful as you can really start a storm  when you walk through any door your like a butterfly starting to transform into a majestic life form .

You raised me but there was always a hole in your heart, not feeling safe in my own home I chose to go through a different door,  the scars and torment you caused left me on the floor picking them piece by piece I lost faith in you, cant you see me fading into darkness just say my name say something before its too late before I'm smothered by your hate, leaving me vulnerable to this big scary world .

You came into my life bringing me words, thoughts,  and ideas as if you were singing .you brought me a new beginning together forever I can finally say I found someone to fight for , you finally gave me a reason to open the door and get up off the floor . this feeling I have never felt before I can happily say I found a new beginning  to start over and forget the past this feeling I hope to last  your words gave my heartbeat a blast .a new beginning to finally feel reborn , I feel lucky as my blood rushes through my veins I can say that I feel no pain.