A warning to all the men out there
There's a reason to be scared
For when you reach the age of fourty
You better be very prepared

A physical becomes a nightmare
It's no longer just routine
For there's things going on in there
That's really quite obscene

Especially if you happen to mention
You might have a little obstruction
By the time you leave that doctor's office
It's feels like an alien abduction

He pokes and probes in places
You never knew were there
And when he gets those rubber gloves
It will give you a horrible scare

Just grit your teeth and close your eyes
For it will all be over soon
Try to think of happy thoughts
To take your mind off the moon

So, when it's finally finished
And you pay the doctor his money
You leave his office as fast as you can
While trying not to walk too funny

Well, I just wanted to warn you
That there's things you're gonna dread
So when your doctor says, "Touch your toes"
You'll remember what I said

The air I breathe is poison
Filled with toxic love
With each breath I take, I suffocate
For it's you I'm thinking of

I'm dying from the inside out
A little more each day
An infection of your rejection
And it will not go away

A fatal disease without a cure
My heart will turn to stone
It won't be long before I'm gone
I feel so all alone

My soul cries out in agony
The pain, too much to bear
Growing fast, this cancerous past
A coma of despair

I die a slow and painful death
Drowning in my tears
A broken heart, that's torn apart
Withers. then disappears

Have you ever had one of those days,
When nothing goes your way?
And the night is long with noises
Please don't tell my wife what I'm about to say

You see my wife snores
More than anyone I know
She even shakes the bed at night
Like a herd of buffalo

Sometimes the people next door
Will even call and complain
They say they just can't stand it anymore
And it's driving them insane

I've tried everything I know
But all I do is fail
She even registers a 4.0
On the earthquake richter scale

One night I even tried duct tape
And wondered what would happen
She just laid there and kept on snoring
'Til the duct tape started flappin'

I even tried some super glue
On her lips to make them close
Until I heard that horrible noise
Like a trumpet got stuck in her nose

Well, I guess I'll always love her
And learn to live with this curse
I'm just glad it's not the other end
'Cause the smell would make it even worse

'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the hills
The kinfolk were drinkin' as they tend to their stills

The longjohns were hung by the chimney with care
No stockings were found, just underwear

The children were nestled so high in their bunks
Their quilts made of skins from rabbits and skunks

Granny with her false teeth and gun on her knee
Was waiting for Santa as she sat by the tree

From out of the barn there arose such a noise
We thought it was Grandpa drinkin' with the boys

But what to my wandering eye should appear
It was just cousin Cleatus in mama's brassiere

And then from the rooftop we heard it at last
Like the sound of thunder or a shot gun blast

We have Christmas dinner, it's finally here
Granny kidnapped Santa while we shot his deer

Venison all covered with onions for stew
And even old Santa enjoyed some too

His belly was full when he walked out the door
But he couldn't resist when we offered him more

Well that's the story of our Christmas here
Merry Christmas to all 'til the same time next year


© All Rights Reserved

'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the hills
The kinfolk were drinkin' as they tend to their stills

The longjohns were hung by the chimney with care
No stockings were found, just underwear

The children were nestled so high in their bunks
Their quilts made of skins from rabbits and skunks

Granny with her false teeth and gun on her knee
Was waiting for Santa as she sat by the tree

From out of the barn there arose such a noise
We thought it was Grandpa drinkin' with the boys

But what to my wandering eye should appear
It was just cousin Cleatus in mama's brassiere

And then from the rooftop we heard it at last
Like the sound of thunder or a shot gun blast

We have Christmas dinner, it's finally here
Granny kidnapped Santa while we shot his deer

Venison all covered with onions for stew
And even old Santa enjoyed some too

His belly was full when he walked out the door
But he couldn't resist when we offered him more

Well that's the story of our Christmas here
Merry Christmas to all 'til the same time next year


© All Rights Reserved

'Twas the night before Thanksgiving
And all through the forest
All the turkeys were gathered
From the richest to poorest

For a meeting was called
To plan their revenge
For all of their loved ones
Who were ever cooked or singed

Now this turkey rebellion
Was long overdue
How would they get even?
And what would they do?

I was there that night
When their meeting adjourned
Keep reading this poem
To see what I learned

This meeting went on
For what seemed like an hour
'Til a gobbler stepped forth
In their circle of power

Now all the turkeys agreed
To this gobbler's idea
They'd all eat some exlax
And give them diarrhea

No matter how they cooked it
Bake it or boil it
The humans would spend
All day on the toilet

So, remember this Thanksgiving
As you try to relax
Have plenty of TP
For those sudden attacks

Oh lady fair, of twilight mist
Why must thou leave so soon?
What beauty will thine eyes have missed
Beneath the coming moon

Thou hath never seen the dark of night
Neither the stars so high
Thou hath never seen the bright sunlight
That kisses the eastern sky

Trapped between the night and day
In a place thou can't escape
Never to see the magical way
The shadows change their shape

Just a prisoner of the inbetween
That vanishes in the night
A legend told, but never seen
A mystery to the light

Though fleeting is thy life long curse
Thou art blessed never to know it
For thy name hath inspired many a verse
To many an unknown poet

Oh lady fair, of twilight mist
Why must thou leave so soon?
What beauty will thine eyes have missed
Beneath the coming moon

I buried an angel, on top of the hill
Under the magnolia tree
Her wings are long since silent
But she still means the world to me

The magnolia's flowers, cover her grave
Decorated in majestic white
She said the scent was Heaven's perfume
And their smell was pure delight

I was married to this angel for 41 years
Before Heaven called her away
I knew she had to leave this world
Even tho I begged her to stay

I know that my loss, is Heaven's gain
I guess they were one angel short
I know they wouldn't have taken her
Unless it was the last resort

Sometimes when I start missing her
I can't wait til the magnolias bloom
We can sit and talk for hours
While smelling their sweet perfume

She said this is as close to Heaven
As anyone could ever be
So I buried her on the hillside
Under that magnolia tree

Bewildered, I walk this barren place
A place my soul can't feel
Too much damage to ever turn back
A place my soul can't heal

Forgotten dreams adorn my path
With seas of liquid pain
Broken promises, my only friend
The scars are all that remain

Mistakes I've made are my shadow
They follow where ever I go
A regretful heart refusing to beat
But shouting I told you so

Memories becoming a stain in my mind
Illusions now taking their place
Reprobate, not knowing right from wrong
Hope, overcome by disgrace

Unfaithful souls walk in this place
A place where it's ever too late
Turn away from the one that you love
And this will be your fate

Is a poet still a poet
if his work should go unread?
Or is he just a dreamer
with words inside his head?

Does a poet keep on writing
though no one knows his name?
Or spill his soul 'til his fingers bleed,
searching for his fame?

Does he dream of Poe as he writes his verse
in poetic harmony?
Or Count the Ways like Browning did
in sonnet forty-three?

Does he Take the Road Not Taken
like the late great Robert Frost?
Or take the road the others take
to find out that he's lost?

A poet is a poet
if his work should go unread
His words will stand the test of time,
in something that he said

Trembling in my bed tonight
I cannot close my eyes
The movie on the late, late show
Says everybody dies

Now some say I'm a scaredy cat
But tonight is Halloween
What if someone kidnaps me,
And tries to eat my spleen?

I know there's no great pumpkin
Okay, maybe there is
What if he puts a spell on me,
And tries to make me his?

And I think that there's a monster
Who lives beneath my bed
I shiver and shake and stay awake
With covers over my head

There's something outside my window
And shadows on my wall
I think I hear some rattling chains
From the ghosts that's in the hall

Right then I hear this eerie voice
And feel this clammy hand
My wife says, "Hush and go to sleep,
You're supposed to be a man"

Trembling in my bed tonight
I cannot close my eyes
The movie on the late, late show
Says everybody dies

Now some say I'm a scaredy cat
But tonight is Halloween
What if someone kidnaps me,
And tries to eat my spleen?

I know there's no great pumpkin
Okay, maybe there is
What if he puts a spell on me,
And tries to make me his?

And I think that there's a monster
Who lives beneath my bed
I shiver and shake and stay awake
With covers over my head

There's something outside my window
And shadows on my wall
I think I hear some rattling chains
From the ghosts that's in the hall

Right then I hear this eerie voice
And feel this clammy hand
My wife says, "Hush and go to sleep,
You're supposed to be a man"

While looking in the mirror
What do you think I saw?
It had to be the best looking dude
That left me in total awe

He looks like one of them movie stars
That's up on the movie screen
Jet black hair, with pouty lips
You know the kind I mean

He looks like somebody famous
Where everybody knows his name
He's probably gonna be a millionaire
Destined for fortune and fame

I told my wife how lucky she is
To have a man like me
She just rolled her eyes and said, "Okay"
And then she said, "I see"

"You're a good looking man that's for sure,
But I don't know how to tell this,
That's not the mirror you're looking at,
It's a velvet picture of Elvis"

No one knows where the wind comes from
But we see can it in the trees
There's nothing there we can touch or hold
But we can feel its gentle breeze

The wind is made of voices
Just whispers in the night
From those who've long since passed away
Reaching, for the light

It sometimes comes in a sweet caress
From lovers who have died
A gentle kiss upon our cheeks
From a husband or a bride

A melancholy wind will sometimes blow
A whisper of the past
From broken hearts who've died alone
A love that didn't last

We sometimes feel that angry wind
A lost and tortured soul
Cursed to shout in a whispered voice
That time cannot console

So when you feel that warm spring breeze
Listen close and you will hear
The wind is made of whispering souls
From voices, no longer here

Can anybody hear these voices?
They keep calling out my name
One voice calls himself loneliness
Another, is calling himself blame

I no longer hear my heartbeat
These voices keep clouding my mind
I keep looking for a happy ending
But it seems that it's too hard to find

I can no longer see a tomorrow
The past keeps getting in the way
Regret keeps blocking my vision
I'm stuck in a revolving today

Am I the only one who can hear them?
Rejection keeps shouting outloud
I can't think with all of these voices
I need to get rid of this crowd

Denial keeps shouting my innocence
I don't know how much more I can take
Somehow this seems so familiar
The voices of another heartbreak

I keep waiting for the door to open
And for you to walk back in
I can't tell you how bad I've missed you
And how lonely I have been

Waiting to see that beautiful smile
That highlights your sweet face
Waiting to hear your tender voice
That warms this cold, cold place

Waiting to feel your heartbeat
As you lay close by my side
Waiting to know your soft caress
That comes from deep inside

Waiting to touch your hair of silk
Woven on Heaven's loom
Waiting to wipe away your tears
And smell your sweet perfume

Waiting til the day I die
And draw this life's last breath
Waiting till we meet again
And we're joined together in death

He promised he would love her
She promised she would wait
He promised he'd be careful
She promised not to date

He said he'd write her letters
She said she'd send them too
He said that he'd be faithful
She said that she'd stay true

He told her not to worry
She told him she'd do her best
He told her don't forget to pray
She told him he'd be blessed

He knew he wouldn't make it
She knew the same as well
He knew he'd die on foreign soil
They knew that war is hell

While listening to my wife complain
She filled my head with a terrible pain
She says her ****'s getting fat
She even blames me for that
And then she waits for me to explain

In a brand new box of crayons
A love begins to sprout
Black and White would finally meet
When the box was emptied out

Black was used each time he fell
While White was usually ignored
The other colors would go unnoticed
For it was White that Black adored

On a cloudy overcast afternoon
A wedding of sorts takes place
Black met White in clouds of gray
As the two would finally embrace

It was a drawing of utter perfection
On paper of purist white
The roses were made by the color Red
While Yellow would draw the light

Silver and Gold would draw the bells
That rang throughout the land
Silver would be the color of choice
To draw the wedding band

A rainbow of colors would soon appear
The grass and leaves were Green
A colorful wedding would soon take place
To finish this beautiful scene

The box again becomes their home
As they're gathered back inside
This colorful wedding is finally over
With Black beside his bride

Enter a land of shattered dreams
And cast aside desires
The gates are built on broken smiles
And promises made by liars

A place where love's not welcome
For it simply cannot be found
A land of crushed and hollow souls
And screams doesn't make a sound

A place where hope does not exist
And compassion cannot survive
Where second chances is just a myth
And pain and heartache thrive

A land where lakes are filled with tears
And memories once made, now lost
A bridge that leads to nowhere
With a void that can't be crossed

A place you've made with years of hurt
Your priceless work of art
An empty shell of a broken man
Welcome to my heart

When the angels cry
It will sometimes look like rain
Rainbows wipe their tears

Each day as I get older
My memory starts to fade
I softly touch your pillow
On the bed where you once laid

I gently trace your photograph
You dressed as my bride
They're in my mind but hard to find
Memories that try to hide

But when it rains I see you
You're as real as you can be
Like the time we stood and watched it rain
Beneath that willow tree

We stood out there for hours
As the rain came pouring down
Me in my rented tux
And you in your evening gown

The rain somehow clears my mind
And it seems like yesterday
You told me that you had to leave
And I was begging you to stay

It's been twenty years since you've been gone
And only a piece of you remains
But in my mind, you're here with me
Everytime it rains

When people cry they feel relief
Their pain is washed away
Tears can comfort the sting of grief
Or a feeling of dismay

A poet's tears are different indeed
For they form into a word
An ever growing poetic seed
A feeling that can't be heard

The paper becomes the poet's sleeve
As they wipe their tears away
Their words will form an intricate weave
Deciding what they'll say

Each teardrop has a life of its own
As it trickles down their cheek
It stains the paper, their seeds are sown
Their tears begin to speak

So listen close when poets cry
Though it barely makes a sound
You'll hear a soft and tender sigh
When all their words are found

When poets die, their words live on
You see them everywhere
They're written in the moon and stars
Or maybe, a humble prayer

They're written in the morning sun
As the sunshine brings us light
You can find them in the sunsets
That ushers in the night

They're written in the summer breeze
That tempts the leaves to dance
They're written in the beautiful flowers
That brings the spring romance

They're written in the winter snows
As snowflakes start to fall
They're written in the autumn leaves
In trees, both big and small

When poets die, their words live on
They never pass away
Anywhere your heart can look
Our words are here to stay

You had to leave, I let you go
Though I bid you stay
Late one night before sunlight
The angels took you away

The perfume on your pillow case
Brings me to our past
You're in my dreams but it always seems
They fade and never last

Your lipstick on your coffee cup
Reminds me of your smile
I know you're gone but for so long
I lived in blind denial

You used to take my breath away
When you danced across the floor
Your promenade would somehow fade
Leaving me wanting more

The birds that's in the Heavens
Still sing of our romance
So hear their tune, I'll see you soon
To dance where angels dance

You sure had a way with the flowers
You knew how to make them grow
You said it's in the care that you give
And in all the love you show

You would often talk to the roses
And sing to the morning glories
You gave them water to quench their thirst
And sometimes, you read them stories

We buried you in an empty grave
Where flowers never grow
But when we laid you in the ground
You became the flower's soul

The roses sprang toward the sky
Inspired by all your love
As if to thank the Father
In the Heavens up above

You sure had a way with the flowers
And though you had to go
Your love will live forever
Where the flowers never grow

I wonder if there's a garden
Where teardrops often flow
A place that's neither here nor there
A place where heartaches grow

A place where broken promises
Will grow into a lie
A place where tears are bottled up
To wait until we cry

A place with no commitment
Where dreams were never dreams
A place where love is taught to hurt
And it's nothing like it seems

A place with no tomorrow
For hope does not exist
A place where memories never fade
Always to be missed

I wonder if there's a garden
Where teardrops often flow
A place that's neither here nor there
A place where heartaches grow

There's a place down deep inside of us
That's seldom ever seen
A hidden place where poems grow
A virtual word machine

We stumble through this hidden place
Choosing words to write
They stand in line, waiting their turn
To shine in the poet's light

Sometimes words are cast aside
Their meaning, skewed or blurred
We'll move them to the end of the line
And choose another word

We want to choose the special words
Like, love , joy and stars
But sometimes the only words we'll find
Are pain, heartache and scars

We keep this place where poems grow
Hidden inside our heart
A secret place that's filled with words
To write our work of art

The petals on the reddest rose
Blush as you walk by
Your beauty causes the willows to weep
And the mighty winds to sigh

The sparrows sing you love songs
Each morning as the sun gives birth
A gift from God to the hearts of men
You're the flower that paints the earth

Words can't describe your beauty and grace
The poets would only fail
Artists have tried to capture your smile
But no one will ever prevail

My heartbeat whispers I love you
It leaps with joy in my chest
Your name supplies the air that I breathe
As my love for you is confessed

You're much more to me than a person
My heart has made you my need
I am the garden where romance grows
And your beauty, the only seed

A building was built in nineteen-ten
A place for the children to learn
Once filled with laughter, now the everafter
This schoolhouse would suddenly burn

Twenty-one souls, were lost that day
When the schoolhouse burned to the ground
A nightmarish cost, everyone was lost
A bible, the only thing found

A school once more, raised from the ashes
But later, turned into a home
With visions and dreams, of bloodcurdling screams
And oasis, for spirits to roam

Ghostly apparitions, now wander these rooms
Trying to escape from the flames
Trapped in this hell, their spirits now dwell
While calling their mothers names

Each night they play their childish games
Destined, to relive that day
Ever changing shape, while trying to escape
This place, where the children play

A building was built in nineteen-ten
A place for the children to learn
Once filled with laughter, now the everafter
This schoolhouse would suddenly burn

Twenty-one souls, were lost that day
When the schoolhouse burned to the ground
A nightmarish cost, everyone was lost
A bible, the only thing found

A school once more, raised from the ashes
But later, turned into a home
With visions and dreams, of bloodcurdling screams
And oasis, for spirits to roam

Ghostly apparitions, now wander these rooms
Trying to escape from the flames
Trapped in this hell, their spirits now dwell
While calling their mother's names

Each night they play their childish games
Destined, to relive that day
Ever changing shape, while trying to escape
This place, where the children play

A breath of air with meaning
That often fills the soul
A soothing breeze with emotion
That our lips cannot control

A very soft, sweet I love you
With the essence of a kiss
A very slight brush of an angel's touch
Filled with Heavenly bliss

A secret, wrapped in mystery
Warm breath upon our cheek
A silent scream of affection
That sometimes makes us weak

A timid shout so quiet
That no one else can hear
A prisoner that our lungs release
A tickle, upon our ear

A breath of air with meaning
Can cause us to rejoice
A whisper comes in many forms
Our meaningful silent voice

I've heard it said a whisper
Is a secret from the heart
A hidden truth, without restraints
Where all the romance starts

It can also be a heartache
A broken tale of love
A gentle breeze that tells us
What someone's thinking of

Sometimes it's a memory
Of a day that we hold dear
A thoughtful word of comfort
Or a long forgotten fear

It's not about the volume
It's about what's wrapped inside
Words that's hold some purpose
Or things that we need to hide

A whisper can be most anything
Whatever we choose it to be
A breath of air with meaning
Or a secret we set free

Death beckons me to heed his call
He bids me to hasten my departure
He woos me with his hypnotizing words
That fly true, like the arrows of an archer

For a season, his cries went unheard
As I marveled at the beat of my heart
But now, it seems, my life unfulfilling
I keep looking for ways to depart

He's ever present, as I wander this maze
Pleading for my jouney to end
Telling me lies of false understanding
And taking the appearance of a friend

He whispers my name, in subliminal message
That only my mind can perceive
A pale horse, stands, at the foot of my bed
Looking for ways to deceive

He whispers, "No mercy", no mercy indeed
For I too, must one day atone
No one can hear my cries for compassion
For it's true, we all die alone

Though life be predictable, no longer appealing
For now, in my purpose content
But growing so weary, of his never ending cadence
I fear, I too, must one day relent

Here's another story that might be true
Or at least that's what I've been told
Don't tell my wife I told you this
Or I just won't live to grow old

It happened about twenty-nine years ago
Well, give or take a day
Now listen close to this story I'll tell
For it happened just this way

I met this girl back in nineteen-eighty
She was as fine as she could be
Well, I just couldn't stop checking her out
And she was looking back at me

I asked her for a date, and she said, "Sure"
So I took her to the picture show
We were sitting pretty close, while sharing a coke
When they turned those lights down low

In the pitch black dark my ears begin to ring
I heard a whistle that was loud and clear
So I told my date that I'll be right back
As my finger finally found my ear

I crammed that thing in knuckles deep
When I noticed that the whistle was gone
'Til I sit back down and the whistle came back
And that's when I started to yawn

So that's when it hit me like a ton of bricks
"This chicks got a hearing aid"
'Cause everytime that I'd lean away
That whistle would start to fade

Well, I thought I should be a gentleman
So that's when I started to (YELL)
I scared the girl nearly half to death
And out of the seat she fell

She said, "What's wrong with you, are you crazy?
I said, "I DIDN'T KNOW YOU COULDN'T HEAR"
She said, "Please stop screaming at the top of your voice,
Can't you see that I'm standing right here?"

Well, that's how it happened when I met my wife
And that's how this story goes
She had a real bad cold that night we met
And the whistle was coming from her nose

I only shoot to **** my food
Not for pride or pleasure
I hunt the meat we all can eat
Not for a mantlepiece treasure

But late one night I was lying in bed
And someone was at my door
I jumped to my feet like a ninja in heat
And crawled across my floor

It was dark inside my livingroom
But I could see a silhouette
The next thing I saw took my breath
It's something I'll never forget

A deer was wearing a ski mask
His antlers poked out the top
I jumped to my feet as fast as I could
And yelled, "Bambi you better stop"

He turned around and began to charge
I screamed for my wife to get back
He pulled a knife and cut my arm
With another sneak attack

He chased me down the hallway
The bathroom my only hope
But when I tried to get inside
He lassoed me with his rope

He tied me up and robbed my house
My wife was under the bed
He went through all of our dresser drawers
Her underwear on top his head

He finally left, the house was a mess
There were hoofprints everywhere
He took the remote to our color Tv
And even our silverware

Before he left he pointed and laughed
And called me a crazy old geezer
But my wife is scared and cannot rest
Until I put him in my freezer

I was on the cross at Calvary
The day Jesus suffered and died
An innocent Man who took your place
Was unjustly crucified

No one saw me hide my face
But everyone knew my name
I was the reason He had to die
And you were the reason He came

Everyone is a part of me
From the moment of their birth
Just a whisper in the garden
And now I rule this earth

Nailed to a cross at Calvary
As mercy and grace begins
I am what His blood made clean
For I am all your sins

She wakes up in the hospital
She don't remember where she's at
Her husband sits beside her
She asks the nurses, "Who's that?"

They tell her he's her husband
But she jerks her hand away
His eyes well up with tears
For he knew not what to say

Married for almost fifteen years
She couldn't remember his name
"She has amnesia" the doctor said
"And she may never be the same"

"I love you", her husband says
As she stares out into space
She answers, "I'm sorry I don't know you"
With no expression on her face

"You were in an accident" her husband says,
"It's a miracle that you even survived"
"You died on the way to the hospital,
But they finally got you revived"

"I don't know you," she says once more
This was too much for him to believe
When the woman started to get upset
So they quietly asked him to leave

She never recovered and filed for divorce
And started a brand new life
Her husband still waits, for her memory to return
Though now she's another man's wife

Will you carry me,
When my walk down here is through?
If you leave this world before me,
I will carry you?

Will you carry me,
When it's time for me to sleep?
When it's time for me to say goodbye,
Will you be the one to weep?

Will you carry me,
When I leave this world behind?
If I leave this life before you,
Will I be on your mind?

Will you carry me,
When it's time to pass away?
Will you take me to my resting place,
When I face my final day?

Will you carry me
Will you be the one who's there
Will you carry me to paradise,
When there's no one else to care?



Written about a woman who passed away with no family to carry her to her grave.

Will you dance, if I gently hold your hand?
Lean on me, for I will not let you fall
It's not hard, it's like learning how to stand
Don't be shy, close your eyes and give your all

Will you smile, if I whisper in your ear?
I will tell you the secrets in my heart
It's okay, there's nothing for you to fear
I'm the painter, and you my work of art

Will you love me until the day I die?
I will love you forever and a day
We cannot let this feeling pass us by
It's just funny that love should start this way

Don't be shy, close your eyes my darling wife
Will you dance if I promise you're my life?

Behold the silent battle
That the changing seasons bring
Winter's grip is loosened
As the robin begins to sing

The flowers strain toward Heaven
As their fragrance fills the air
For spring has given notice
But winter will not despair

Winter will not be broken
As it fights with it's last breath
But spring's warm winds are endless
And the reason for winter's death

Spring proclaims it's victory
As it watches it's rival die
The snowflakes have changed to raindrops
As winter begins to cry

Halloween's here it's the end of summer
Costumes it seems, keep getting dumber
I'm fixing the kitchen sink
And my wife said, "Let me think"
Pull up your pants or go as a plumber

Now here's a story for Halloween
One that you won't forget
A little story of forbidden love
Called Wolfio and Drooliette

Now Wolfio was a werewolf dude
With his hair down to his toes
And how he hooked up with Drooliette
Nobody really knows

You see, Drooliette was a vampire chick
With her fangs all covered in red
But Wolfio really dug that chick
From the ground, cause she was dead

Now Drooliette liked those hairy dudes
They made her go weak in the knees
He washed his hair in Pert shampoo
Cause he heard it got rid of the fleas

And though he had to stop fetching sticks
A sacrifice he was willing to make
They don't sit good with the vampire chicks
Cause it looked like a wooden stake

Now to say they lived happily ever after
Would probably be telling you a lie
Cause though Drooliette will never see death
Poor Wolfio had to die

Now don't be sad, but this story is true
And before you say that I lied
Just say hello to Drooliette
My brand new blood ******* bride

There's nothing worse on God's green earth
Than a woman with ultimate power
She'll time you when you sit on the throne
And it better not take an hour

Imagine if there was a Woman ******
Man would we be *******
You know, a woman who thinks she knows it all
But you would still swear she's a dude

A dinky little mustache beneath her nose
And a unibrow that looks like it's winkin'
I never noticed but the stubble on her chin
Kinda looks a little like Abraham Lincoln

This Woman ****** will change the world
And make slaves of all the men
She'd make a decloration that watching football
Would be the unpardonable sin

I bet you didn't know if you rearrange the letters
She's known to one and all
Just rearrange the letters in Woman ******
It's gonna spell Mother in law

I hold my breath 'til you walk by
So you won't see my fear
My heartbeat screams your name each time
While hoping you will hear

My eyes meet yours in silent dance
Blinded by your fame
I listen close to every word
Praying you'll say my name

My body numb, I cannot move
Your shadow touches mine
I long to reach and take your hand
Please give me just one sign

My lips in fear, refuse to speak
A prisoner of my mind
My words betray me one by one
They're just too hard to find

You walk away, my breath relents
My blinded eyes can see
My lips scream out your name in vain
You didn't notice me

Your lies are like a familiar face
That scar me to my core
You've changed the person I used to be
I'm nothing like before

You've hardened every part of me
My heart is made of stone
You chiseled away, 'til there's nothing left
Not fit to look upon

You put me on a pedestal
So that everyone can see
But they don't know the person I was
Or what you've done to me

You're proud of your creation
You mold me to your will
You consider yourself the master poet
And me, just the poet's quill

You painted me to your perfection
And forgot about my heart
I no longer exist to me, but to you,
Your greatest work of art

I've often wondered why you cry
Why are you always sad?
What's the reason for your tears,
What makes you feel so bad?

Your pillow case is always stained
Your tears are on your sleeve
Has someone near you passed away,
The reason why you grieve?

An unseen pain you hide away,
Something I can't see?
Did your best friend just walk away,
What could it possibly be?

Tell me why you feel this way
Help me ease your pain
Is it something that's too hard to say,
Something you can't explain?

I see the way you look at me
Each time I'm standing near
Now I know who makes you cry
My reflection's in your tear



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