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 Jun 2013 LDuler
Portland Grace
I kissed the boy,
with the sunny smile,
and the ocean eyes.
and when he kissed me back
I could taste pity on his lips.

And when he held my hand,
and made fun of me,
because I held it wrong,
I knew you were never mine to keep,
no matter how much I wanted too.

we once saw a movie at midnight,
caressed my hand through the whole thing
and afterwards,
when you got shaky and anxious
I packed you a bowl,
and sat with you while you smoked it.
Fell asleep in your arms,
happy and warm.

you woke me up,
with sleepy kisses
and we skipped school,
and you made me breakfast
and we went on a hike,
ventured off the trail,
and I slid on some rocks
and ripped my favorite pants,
you laughed and kissed me,
and promised you would sew them.
for a moment I thought everything would work out

but you are a complicated person,
and I wish I had known the extent of that,
before we made love,
because you never had much love to give back,
and you took a lot from me,
at a point when I had very little to keep for myself,
I guess it was all just bad timing.

But I'm good now,
and you are....
good?
And I can pretend like we never touched,
and you can pretend like we never kissed,
and that's fine
because everything is good now.
 Jun 2013 LDuler
Katie Mac
sleep that is not really sleep but half-lidded existence
and again, indifference that tightens
like summer clothes on a winter body.

pillowed flesh that never cares and
a greasy face who stares dully at
its twin who is a stranger.

angry, angry for a moment and
tears, rips, sobs
then desolate, desolate for a moment and

sleeps, sleeps, sleeps.

sliding into a hollow place where it is dry
and the rain is outside and it trickles to that
solitary holding cell where pliant curves are a thousand miles away.

desperate, desperate for a moment and
whisper, utter, scream
then lonely for a moment

nothing, nothing, nothing
 Jun 2013 LDuler
Redshift
finger-paint yourself a picture
on a canvas destined for nothing more
than late-night
one-night
kisses

arrange fabric on a doll
that was store bought
for perfection
owned by jealousy
mocked by
lessers

stain lips
to never speak
gentle words
train lips
to reside
in perfect pouts

school eyes
in fluttering
slitted
hooded
gestures
arrange toes
into smooth, unbroken shapes
to be molded
in a set of high heels
high ballers
high flyers
being higher on the food chain
only makes you
more likely
to be consumed
and if we are anything
we are
consumers

limited
to materialistic consumption
we dress ourselves up like
a sweetshop-confection
topped with gucci
and laced with victoria's secret
lucidity

it's not hard to see
what we're about
if this is a judgement
of clear intentions
we are the clear
winners

our faces are perfect
optical illusions
standing on an assembly line
waiting for someone to take a shine
to the curve of our hips
lips
chest
there is nothing to confess
our cards are laid
only after
we
are
oh, humanity.
I once was a Person far too set in my ways
to realize how much what I didn't do
hurt the person I love.

I one was a Person too consumed by Self
to see past it's Illusion
and into the beautiful Truth of my life.

I once was a Person lucky enough to be close to you;
and though you say I didn't fail, I sure feel like I did.
I may not have failed you, but I sure failed myself in the process.
Maybe I didn't, but it sure made me think
about how I could change;
and Change has been made.

I'm sorry for the things I did that I shouldn't have
and for the things I didn't that I should have.

I'm terribly sorry my actions and inactions
made you seek your course of recourse.

I hope you can find it in your heart to give me another chance,
I know you may well not want to, and I don't blame you;

Time can be good.

To quote another poem of mine; Age:
"It does take Time
to find and travel your Path,
but it can begin at any Time,
and one can stray at any Time."

I'm sorry I strayed.
I think it can begin anew.
More beautiful.

We had something.
What's gone is gone.
We have potential.
We can begin anew;
begin something new
and more wondrous
than either of us can imagine:

I think we can grow together,
You nourish me.
I want to do the same for you.

I love you.
I miss you.
I adore you.

I miss you so much.

You complete me.
I know it sounds cheesy.. but it's true.

Last weekend at the wedding
when I laid down with you sobbing
about the things I was sobbing about
I had a realization:

I can see myself marrying you;
perhaps not quite yet, but I'd be down.
Normally thinking of marriage freaks me out,
but with you it doesn't.
It would be an honor.

You push me towards a better me
even if I've unintentionally resisted:
(That's part of what's changed
I see how I've been resisting now.
Sorry it took so ******* long ><)

You got me to write things down and share them.
You got me to try new things and to push my comfort zone.
You inspire me to pursue my passions;
to not be ashamed to get in front of People and share them.
You think in ways that the Ordinary can't even imagine.
You make me feel like I belong and that I am loved..

Something so very precious is being lost;
within me
and between us

I really hope we haven't thrown all hope out the window.
I think we have something far too dear to just toss out.

We both need to change, for ourselves and each other,
but I feel that we can do that together. Perhaps better.

I'm really truly sorry it took me losing you
to make me realize what I already had in you.

I'm really sorry it took what it took:
I'm really sorry it took so much Time.

-
I was stubborn and stupid.
I strayed.
We all can.

I value things differently now.
We all should.

My Shadow and Ego had been puppeteering my Mind,
but I've felt the metamorphosis, the renewal, the cleansing;
the Change has crept up and consumed me.
My Worldview has shifted, from the inside turning out.
The World is more beautiful now;
and so are you.

You are the full Moon
in the night of my Mind.
I know I truly love you.
[Please, Forgive me.]
I feel a heavy void within me, tearing my soul
I feel like crying, but the tears escape me.
I want to scream but I have no voice.
I want to hold you..

At least I slept last night.. that's improvement.
 Jun 2013 LDuler
Sarina
abril
 Jun 2013 LDuler
Sarina
Months have been named after
girls who broke my heart, four whole weeks
a year birthed in the honor of those who
should have never been born
delivered in my heart like a box of fireworks –

I half-learn foreign languages to believe that
there is no such thing as remembrance
and so her name is different
than each fourth month, the one of showers.

Cometh no flowers or forgiveness
enough to forget, just new words for old pain.
 Jun 2013 LDuler
Mike Hauser
You've heard of the children of the corn
This my friend is much scarier than that
Here to make sure you eat all your vegetables
Adults of the Asparagus

Set in a quaint New England town
Could be in any novel by Stephen King
Making sure both the young and the old
Eat their veggies raw, sauteed, or steamed

They'll make you sit by yourself at the table
With the dog behind the door when they lock it
Before you leave the table they'll frisk you
And have you empty out all of your pockets

You will shudder with butter on the side
Salting to taste if you must
Making sure you eat every last bite
Adults of the Asparagus
Eating vegetables can be scary!
 Jun 2013 LDuler
Mae Alyson
Maybe I was lost;
And maybe you were right.

But in what seemed like tragedy,
I found the sweetest light.

It tasted like wet pavement,
Just after it pours.

And hit me like sunlight;
After a rough storm.

(m.a.)
 Jun 2013 LDuler
Mae Alyson
When and if you fell for me,
I wanted it to hurt.
I wanted you to bruise your knees,
just like I had done for you.
But you didn't fall; not even close.
All you did was float away.
And that hurt more than any bruise.

(m.a.)
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