Some people say that true love does not exist. It's funny cause I used to be that exact person. With having to deal with such agony of a loss of my own mother at a young age, reality became a part of my world. Love though, was never evident to me. Never clear, nor around. Hope was lost along with faith. How could I ever turn to bringing myself alive with feelings only someone else could give me?

It happened.

Struck me through many faults, and times of confusion.. I found myself to be fascinated and utterly taken by someone else life. It just gathers your feelings and throws them into a well that you will never get back. I fell deeply, madly, continuously, in-love.  But this was a love that had no way to be described or defined. This love to me became more than a feeling it was a sense of living, and to be without it would be impossible, heart-wrecking. It became my persuasion at life.My hope for a future, and my inspiration for believing in greater things. You did this to my heart . You filled my vains with something other than blood, but yet a poision that only you could make. Your love. Your taste.Your sound, smile, your looks, and just the way you walked in room making it seem so alive, i was captivated.

Love is so wrecking, and is so STRONG. It is something that should not be messed with . People ask me all the time.. how could you be inlove your so young... you have a whole world to meet...there are bigger things than this. What does that matter. No age, no number, no disease or death could determine such love that is unconditional. You see, its not forced.. its just there. Its as if you blink for a second and your whole world is changed. you feel as if theres a glass over your eyes and you know longer just live for yourself. You live to protect, to hold, to cherish, and to provide whoever that special someone may be with every part of your soul .

You mean the world and beyond to me. You mean such beautiful dreams to me. You soul brings me down to feel all the gravities of love. Your bright,your sunny, your breath taking in every cliche way their is in a sense of being mine and only mine.

Life brings us these mysteries, and obstacles that we must overcome to be strong and better than we could ever imagine being. Sometimes things happen that we may not even have the mind to control or explain, but to work over. You have always been my strength, and my biggest weakness but will never be any sense of failure to me. We must be braver to be brave, to feel extreme, and to experience the true meanings beneath compassion, and loyalty, and security. Once a love so strong, that a love must be stronger. You are my one and only . My fairytale that has no end . Your my storybook, and although i may be hurt , i trust in your heart that you will replenshish this love  and vision how our lives intertwine for such powerful reasons. We've had a love that cannot die nor burn out. So believe me , i will never stop loving you now , then , and after that. True love exists in the eyes of the beholder, and i am a victim of something so moving that no pull could break my longing for your touch.

I love you , I need you and I only pray for your heart. never give up.

-Jl

Your Los Angeles apartment and I,
We’ve both been abandoned,
Abandoned and forgotten
To your never-ending travels.

I think you heard me say
I hated you,
But I only hate you,
Because I love you so deeply that my love renders me helpless,
And I hate to feel helpless.

Your bed and I,
We both miss your weight,
And wait,
Your sheets and I,
We miss your touch,
That touch you give her so freely
God, I hate Philly.

I think you heard me say
I hated you,
But I only hate you,
Because I love you do deeply that my love is making me feel out of control,
And I hate feeling out of control.

Your front door and I,
We both want to welcome you home,
Because with us, you are really home,
Whether you know it or not.

I think you heard me say
I hated you,
But I only hate you,
Because I love you so deeply that my love is making me blind,
And I hate not seeing the truth, Jason.

The floor is dr i i i pping black tar and the air is the bottom of a grease trap
the wind outside sounds... heavy.
it seems air has lost its weightlessness and now everything is being pulled
d
    o
       w
          n

and i look at that typed cliché and i think
"there's no other way"
because weight reigns and it's so heavy it pulls
and structure and pause mean more than what's been said before because   what hasn't?

Feels like i'm pacing back in forth in my mind but i can't help but stumbling
and every time i do, i end up sat on the ground of my consciousness hugging my knees thinking STOP.

because they told me only a belief in their God can get me into heaven but listen,      i don't even believe in myself

and I'm sorry but may your **** ******* you for being so irreverent to my irrelevance
and I whisper to myself, ******* him for being so ego-centrical    that even now when i can't believe in anything I'm waiting for a lightening bolt to strike me down because I question old teachings
and I get it

Listen, I see the good and the bad
the yin and the yang of the Christian dimensions

Listen, I get it

but do you think hell is dark?

because the light's been giving me these sickening migraines and I break every time
yes i  b r e a k  every time
so leave me in the dark
so i stay as whole as i can while i'm here

but listen, i know i could use your prayers
because if he's up there
he should know i don't fear the light
it just plays tricks on civilizations
and i never trust a magician

I hope you find your Walden.
I hope it helps you discover
those things about you
that I do love.

The ceiling fan makes a comforting noise
As it whirs gently, with the premonition
That winter is near

She sits up hesitantly, somewhat afraid
That there might be something there
She just woke up from one of those nightmares
She could barely control her breathing
Fear and anxiety painted in her eyes

She's almost used to it, or so she thinks,
Till it happens again
She begins to shake just a bit
Almost subtly
She doesn't want- need- to think
Any more

She switches on another one of those gizmos
Whiles her night away
So she doesn't have to sleep
She doesn't need to go back
To those **** nightmares

A chill runs down her spine
But she turns up the music a little louder
She doesn't dare to cry
Scared of being heard,
Scared of acknowledging
That which lies silent, looming ahead
In the darkness

She doesn't want to because
Once she does, it would be tougher
To tell herself that they
Hardly matter

That they are not premonitions
Of the future

Beneath a grey, forbidding sky,
as all the Saints looked on,
Kevin Barry climbed the scaffold,
by the order of the Crown.
He would not betray his fellows
to the agents of the State.
By Courts martial, they condemned him
to a common villains fate.
This morn at Mount joy jail
as the World looked on, aghast,
the hangman’s rope snapped Kevin’s neck
and Barry breathed his last.
Denied a soldier’s bullet,
Kevin hung upon a tree,
Just eighteen, but a martyr
for the cause of Liberty.
Let him never be forgotten;
As long as we have voice to sing.
He is past all trial and suffering
at the hands of Earthly Kings.

Place your hand against my cheek;
The one you kissed many years ago

We were young once,
So full of life and
We were curious;
You more than I

I was distracted,
You were determined
I was blinded,
You felt deserted

I broke away from you,
Me, like a boat's heavy anchor
Pulled back to the surface
By the man strong enough to hold on

It was you.
We came back together,
Crashing
Like waves, in unison
Picking up where we had left off

This time, it was I
Who needed the comfort
And just as before,
You were there

How many times you saved me from myself,
How many smiles I've shared with my
Bedroom walls,
You'll never truly know

Place your hand here, now
Look into my eyes,
The ones who have seen all of you
And chose to come back each time

This time, I hope
Our souls stay connected
I hope this love remains,
Everlasting,
Meaningful,
Always,
The same

She said she wanted an adventure
trekking through the Mexican desert with six shooters
the Lone Ranger and her Kemo Sabe
she wanted to pack her bags
hit the road without a second glance to spare
take the Greyhound bus
or maybe her dad's Jetta
and open it up across endless highways
until the tires are stripped bare
and the exhaust smokes
she wanted to be a stranger
in a strange town
with a cardboard sign reading
    Anywhere but here
mostly she just wanted to escape
the chill of all the old ghosts which haunted her