I’ve sobbed for hours,
Then for days,
Ache blurring lifeless gaze
Stolen breaths come incomplete
And, too quickly, are replaced.
I’ve sobbed from twilight until noon
Filling this entire room
Watching skin succumb to prune
Hair, molasses, ‘round my neck
Pirouettes to desperate croon.
I’ve sobbed through sunrise and sunset
Muddled orange and violet
Lighting crests of waves deflect
Fading as they intersect.
I sob for eras and for lives
Until none of them survive,
So what light exists beyond the depth
Can magnetize and resurrect,
And eyes can greet horizon new
Reflecting glowing golden hue
Desaturating retrospect
As currents sway to sovereign tune.

The world can be a darkless place
Fires fervent in heart’s ember—
So I douse its ash into a bath,
And submerge in shades familiar

When the clouds come
I cast them away
I tear them apart,
Dismantling grey

I am left with the blue
Entranced by its hue, but
Its vastness consumes
And I, lost without aim

So empty pages I thumb
Clear eyes achingly numb
Skin desperate to soak in
The sweet mist of pain
From where the clouds came
Oh, when the clouds come

To dream
To be
Benjamin Button
To feel pain
See suffering
And return
To safety
And peace
Of youth
And mind

Yet, to live
As I am
Dorian Gray
To remain unchanged
Paint by numbers
My colors
Fill to the edges
And they never
Spill over

I putrefy
As prisoner
Of my inability
To die
Decided by
My dream
Of being
Born again

And I,
The singer
And bringer
Of death,
Do cast unto you
For all that I’ve wept
Though hard
As I try,
And fight
As I might,
My tender heart
Wasn’t meant
For this life
And it, too,
Cannot
Be kept

I’ve left my body somewhere to roam
While I float above
The weight of the world
And all who inhabit
To splay amidst sunshine
And swim
In the current of the wind

I’m meant to be
Among cities and trees
But somehow always fall short
And land
Somewhere in between
Where it is grey and flat
And desolate

I dream of spaceships
And submarines
Of vines to jump and swing
Anything
To feel momentum
Where I no longer feel
A thing