there are wounds
that every person carries
they form on our hearts
they form on our minds
they are so much deeper
so much farther under the skin
so much deeper than anyone can ever see
I'm sorry I keep mine locked up
but I've already lost my key

what is
L O V E ?
its quite a funny
T H I N G
falling isnt ever
P A I N F U L
but falling out leaves you
B R O K E N
i wish i could say i never loved
H I M

if i loved you
there would be rules
like we cant tell them
like we have to take it slow
like you will learn my body language please respond accordingly
but perhaps your willing perhaps you understand
that our love would have to be
star crossed hidden behind a sheet
as if its not even there
but perhaps we can make this work
a hidden love
just until I'm old enough
that when i say this is what i want
and them not tell me I'm to young

we where brought together
not by luck
not without pain
not without brokenness
but by god
on our own roads to recovery
and in each other we find the answers
to the questions we began to drown in
and in those answers we found love

love isn't supposed to
come with strings
its not supposed to
be begged for
but i always end up
Wishing you could give me
The love I needed

Love isn't what we want
Its never like we imagin
Its not dancing the night away
Or loving till you think you'll brake
Its taking the pieces
Of me
Of you
And putting them together
In a new
More perfect way
Each person leaving you with a piece
Each collecting good and bad
And in this way
Love is a puzzle

love is like an epic poems
with stanzas that jump
with smiles and frowns
with never-ending lines
and ongoing stories
some will bring you to tears
but ours,
that will bring you to smile

its lovely to think
of you sleeping next to me
of me curled in your arms
i would like nothing more
then to fall into the safety
of your arms
of your love

his eyes are as blue as the ocean there,
L O V E L Y
when his arms pull me close
and his heart beats fast
everything is inside his mind is
L O V E L Y
his smile reminds me of a fox
his sideways grin
makes my heart throb
and i think that this boy is absolutely
L O V E L Y

When people are in love
It’s said there falling
Like maybe they tripped
On the uneven sidewalk
Face forward
And Into the arms of the one they love

I did more
then simply fall on the ground for you

You at least for me
Where like diving into and ocean
Headfirst
Jumping
Crashing
Almost painfully
Into the depths of you

I knew how to swim
At least I thought I did
But I am drowning
Entangled in you
And I am surrounded by you
And I love the feeling of you engulfing me

And I love the feeling of you
Flowing against my whole being
And I have never tried to reach land
And I never will
For if I where ever to find land
It would mean leaving you

And after submerging into the depths
The love
The passion
The happiness of you
How could I ever leave?

you only need my light
when im running low
only say to smile
when my tears flow
only want my love
when it fit your schedule
only miss my dress
when you pull it off
you love me on your terms
not on what i need

F A L L,
it is a season
its what we do in love
its how we end ourselves
when we fall in the dirt
when were covered in dust
when the others words wom there way in
and our minds begin to betray
the person we thought we we're
i just wish we hadn't found love in
E A C H     O T H E R

loving him is like watching a bird fly over a stream
faster then the wind
as passionate as can be
i hope it never ends cause suddenly
i feel like im changing my whole life
switching paths that are ahead of me
forgetting him would be impossible
needing him is all i spend my time on my life on
and loving him is like touching fire
and touching him is like
realising all ive ever needed is right in front of me
memorize his eyes
memorize his touch every time i see him
i can never get enough
every feature every word like my favorite song
i just hope i can keep him on replay

Loving him is like
Realizing everything you’ve ever needed
Is right in front of you
Loving him is like
Watching a flame dance
Even after the candles blown out
Loving him is like
Waking up from a story
That you thought you were stuck in
Loving him is like
Every piece of me finally
Coming back together
I swear that i will be loving him
F O R E V E R

his smile holds a
K I N D N E S S
his eyes hold an
I N T E N S I T Y
that's so soft it surprised me
his arms hold me so
T I G H T L Y
even when i feel like im slipping
his dreams are so
B E A U T I F U L
even when we argue about a family

loving is hard,
but screaming will always make it worse
I hear your words
but they burn when you scream them
puncturing the drums in my ears

loving is hard,
but you make it worse
if you say you love me
why would you say goodbye

loving is hard,
but I'm breaking out
I wont let you control me
even if its for the best

loving is hard,
but fighting makes it worse
I wish for one day
this love we have
didn't have to hurt

i have been through
6 high schools
they start to get blurry
no time to plant roots
cause im gone in a week
don't have time to unpack
because like that were gone
don't remember faces
cant remember names
and i will never forget that day
but i can remember
how you made me feel

mary had a little lamb
but mary did not give a ****
and so her lamb always followed her
cause sometimes love can leave you hurt
but only if that little lamb
could run away from that greedy hand
but now marys lost her little lamb
and its sad to say
she never gave a ****

lost
broken
hopeless
strung out
that's what you would say
if you could see under
the costume I'm forced to wear
the mask I must wear
so that you don't see what has gone wrong

i used to have a box of
M A T C H E S
i used to feel like i was burning from the
I N S I D E     O U T
so i thought if i kept the matches
in my pocket i could control the
F I R E
and when it got to intense i could blow out the
M A T C H

she is green
like the jealousy she seethed with
she was attached to the hip
at least that's what they all said
but in reality
she wanted to be him
to be best friends with me

he is blue
like the tears that escape him
he was my best friend
he is si depressed he steals his own heart beat
from me
from his family
from a planet that didn't love him

she is green
like the grass that grows on his grave
like the trees that line a meadow just for him and i
and she does not wait long
to replace his heartbeat
filling the quiet meadow
that i only shared with him
with sounds of anger and sadness
leaving its sacred ground broken

he is blue
like the flowers on his casket
as hes lowered into the dirt
like the blue bells that grew in our meadow
taken from me entirely
lost to me
lost to his family
lost to a planet that never loved him
but when im alone
his screams find me
and i wonder back to the now tainted
meadow

still alive but barely
B R E A T H I N G
just praying to a god that i dont
B E L I E V E   I N
im focused on the
C L O C K
cause ive got time to count till my
F R E E D O M
the things i say summon these
W A L L S
they say i should stop and put my mental health
F I R S T
i stare wide awake my brain wont let me
S L E E P   IN
what am i supposed to do when the walls cave in
A N D  MY
identities fly thru
A N D  W H O
am i supposed to be when everything i have seems to be
L O S T
and my self control is seeping

hey,
i know i shouldnt do this
but im not over you
i cant get over you
i get how stupid i sound
but i was in love with you *******
i shouldn't have fallen that hard
i if anyone should have known
you never fall deep in highschool
never hurt yourself
as much as i did with you
i dont regret you
dont regret what we did
i wont tell lies about you
i pray you wont tell them of me
though im sure you already have
i don't care
that dismissiveness i hated in you
but now i'm using it
i tried being cold
but i cant because when i see you
my heart speeds up
and i still cant look you in the eyes

we wait till
M I D N I G H T
and sneak out the
W I N D O W
and pray we dont get
C A U G H T
as we search for the
C O N S T E L LA T I O N S
and i pray that the sun will never
R I S E
so tat we may stay here in this
M O M E N T
forever, never looking back to our stressful
H O M E S

i write on these walls
the words in my head
i put holes next in the wall
i wish i could stop
i guess my problem
is that i don't fix my problems
i paint over them
but the paint is thin
and it can still be read
reading one of the first things
when i lost my trust
for the family surrounding
the worst after i lost my hope
that was long ago
one day this door will open
and i will clean the walls

My heart rest against yours
I can feel my matching your beat
I can feel the skin on your lips brush against me
I can feel your strong callused hands
Tracing the line of my jaw
My lips meet yours each time longing for more
Each time like a lightning bolt
I try not to melt
Though i know its to late
Hes eyes watch me carefully
As i lean in closer
I give you a kiss
Those lips like a soft cushion
Those silver blue eyes
Glisen in lamplight
Lamps that you have created
In that beautiful mind
I'm just happy that i can call you
M I N E

i stare in the mirror
my reflection
U N C L E A R
the snow is falling
outside the window, making the
F U T U R E
wash away
alone in this room
my heart will eventually break
but that is to waite
i don't want to get
A H E A D
of myself

washes over me in waves
like when I see that shade of blue
Just like your eyes
and i have to sit down
because i become dizzy with memories
of him holding me
and i can still feel his fantom touch
even when were not close to each other
and i realize then that i am
M I S S I N G     H I M

you made me miserable
more than you ever made me happy
but I still think you were worth it
I still think we could have been forever
if only I had been stronger
and one day I may be
but that won't be today
I won't be tomorrow
but one day I will find my happy

its not that i didn't want you happier
its not that i didn't know you'd move on
its seeing those smiles
watching those hands
reach for another girl
i thought you would be my forever
and i know that we just weren't right
i shouldn't be crying since i moved on to
but for some reason
when i hear an old slow song
i miss they way i felt in your arms
the arms i was ready to be in forever

no matter how much I miss you
I won't ever show it
because every time I miss you
I remind myself how much you don't
how much you never will

sometimes i feel like screaming
when the anger boils over
when you blame me
when you blame him
because you refuse
no matter what the case is
to take responsibility
for your mistakes

when i was younger i was broken
in this brokenness i sat quietly
searching for the missing
P I E C E S
and as i seach the ground i find the piece of another
it belongs to you and as our hands meet
as we trade pieces of each other
i realize that i will only fully be collected
when i am built with our pieces
M I X E D

I could say you are not a monster
I could convince myself as well
but that's all it would be
a complete lie
but of course, you would be okay
if I really did say you are a monster
you would probably just say
"is it so bad to be a monster"
that's a complete lie
and you will always know it is

into the
N I G H T
you and i run
hands hold
E A C H O T H E R
eyes hold our
dreams as we
run for the stars
we may find ourselves
upon a pedestal
that stands quite
close to the
M O O N

she is the moon shining bright
but she is only bright thanks to him
for he must first exist for her to truly shine
he is not the sun
no he's far from that
his job is far more important than simply burning for her
he does burn for her in a different sense
for he is the darkness that surrounds her
holding her
loving her
making sure shes all the brighter in his arms

when i was younger
i watched the mountains
they surround the valley
making me feel
T R A P P E D
wrapping across the land
pulling me in with the curiosity but
K E E P I N G
me stuck in this valley
and keeping me
I S O L A T E D
from the rest of the world
that has pushed me out
and trap me in these
M O U N T A I N S

i wait on the bay
watching as he makes introductions
but hes forever skipping me
forever walking by
i have to fight my urge to meet you
walk up and shake hands with the deputy
but my hands are far to ******
from crimes against myself
knowing i shouldnt each time i commit another
but still my hands are covered
in a color so crimson
that it almost hurts but i still keep committing
and im sorry that i keep disappearing mr deputy

my body is a temple
not for you
or any of your friends
not to be objectified
or stared at
not to be passed around
or seen by anyone
that i don't chose
i am strong
and my body will always be mine

welcome to my brain
i was broke long ago
You can't fix md
Cant help me grow
I was lost long ago
And u won't save me
Because to many have tried
And just like you
They left when things got hard

sometimes i have all the inspiration in the world
i write poem
i write stories
i write the inner folds of myself
and sometimes i have absolutely none
i cant walk
i cant talk
i cant even get out of my bed
and thats just my depression i guess

guess it true i don't know how to feel with you
but when you put your arms round my waist
i know there's something
and sometimes i ground myself just by holding your hand
and wish we could go back to simpler times
when we could dance like fools with our friends
so dont leave me behind
cause our love is divine
and when you smile i forget to breath
so know your my everything

your faking it
cant you be
H A P P I E R
your only doing this for
A T T E N T I O N
you can change it when there
A R O U N D

but he doesn't see the hours spent
C R Y I N G
i am constantly trying to look
H A P P I E R
i wish no one would see me or give me
A T T E N T I O N
and he doesnt know that i am
F A K E
around them

secrets are meant to be kept
yet when i told you i was hurt
when i told you i was broken
you told the whole world
that my flaws
where slowly dragging me down
that i
was slowly deteriorating
that there
was no hope for my mind
that i would always
spiral into the fear into my broken head
and when i rose above it wall
you told the world
my flaws where faked