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Melanie Jackson Mar 2020
some times I can feel there
O P P R E S S I O N
it weighs me down like a thick
S Y R U P
the kind the use to suppress a
C O U G H
sticky so much so that it sticks to your
T H R O A T
closing it slowly so you can form no
W O R D S
but one day you will get to hear my
V O I C E
when that day comes i just hope you
L I S T E N
Melanie Jackson Jan 2021
watching the time pass
as seconds turn into minutes
and then into hours
i realize that im wasting my time
waiting for you
Melanie Jackson Jan 2021
sometimes while im outside
thinking about you
and the love you give me
as i dance past the trees
                                                                        walking
through the trees
through the woods
remembering the way you hold me
lifting me quick into the air
as i keep holding
                                                                           on
tightly, keeping me safe
while the whole world
buzzes around me
filling all the
                                                                           air
Melanie Jackson Jun 2019
pants on backwards
bedhead life
messy bun
pain in head
hangover naps
shirt inside out
everyone's been there
on the walk of shame
Melanie Jackson Dec 2021
when we write on the walls
in our big crayons
when we where toddlers
it is almost the same
as writing on these poetry walls
they both release our pain
Melanie Jackson Dec 2020
I used to think i was riddled with
W A N D E R L U S T
Moving from one love to the next
One heartbreak right back to another
And each time i felt
L E F T
Behind, like i wasn't worth such time
And sometimes i felt like i was losing
M Y
Self in there cruel words but now it seams
I have found someone perfect for me
Like somehow the universe linked my
S O U L
With yours and maybe soulmates are real after all
Melanie Jackson Mar 2022
feels like its been a thousand years
when I'm with you i was away my fears
i wish i could say it out loud
but i cant tell you how close
we've gotten in these past two months
because words cant explain my love for you
no simile could compare the way i love you
no exaggeration expresses enough
i love you with every cell in my body
I'm so proud of all you do
all you've been through
I'm so lucky you want me
Melanie Jackson Dec 2021
they say that nothing is wasted
but perhaps
once we truly look into it
we are constantly wasting everything
Melanie Jackson Apr 2019
i don't wanna spend my life wasting
i don't wanna miss my chance
i don't wanna be the one broken
i don't wanna always be hoping
i don't wanna miss my life waiting

cuz when i look back and see nothing
cuz when i look back im nothing
cuz when i look back im wasting
cuz when i look back im broken
cuz when i look back im trying
Melanie Jackson Apr 2019
i don't wanna spend my life wasting
i don't wanna miss my chance
i don't wanna be the one broken
i don't wanna always be hoping
i don't wanna miss my life waiting

cuz when i look back and see nothing
cuz when i look back im nothing
Melanie Jackson Jun 2022
Shallow waters are loud
Whipping flowing
Screaming begging to be heard
Begging to be the center of attention
Like how you
Whip me with your words
Flowing from your mouth
Screaming at me begging to be heard
Begging to center of attention

While deep waters are quiet
Screaming in there silence
Begging to stay hidden
Like how I
Was always quiet
Screaming in silence to be loved
But knowing my need to be hidden
In a lot of ways we are like water
Melanie Jackson Feb 2023
your screams
more blood curdling
than the sound of your beer bottles
smashing agaisnt the wall
even when there right next to my head
even as the cuts brush my cheeks
you take me down
every word poison
ment to **** me just a little more
but in the end
while your destroying my life
your bringing yourself down faster
so really in the end
we both lose
Melanie Jackson Mar 2020
W E L C O M E
those who are happy
i'm sorry i can't be like
Y O U
i wish i could
and maybe one day i will be
H A P P I E R
but until then please
come to my page and read my broken
W O R D S
Melanie Jackson Aug 2021
well maybe i i smiled more
i would be pretty
well maybe if i cared less
i wouldnt get so hurt
well maybe if i did more
i could one day be enough
well maybe if i was louder
i could drown out these thoughts
well maybe if i screamed
i wouldnt have been hurt
well maybe if i was better
he would love me
well
well
well ......
but when do they stop
when do my hundreds of wells turn into
A C C E P T A N C E
Melanie Jackson Mar 2019
what do you mean
im not good enough
what do you mean
i cant fight
what do you mean
no one cares
what do you mean
your better than me
what do yo mean
i'm hopeless
what do you mean
i asked for  this
what do you mean
i was  looking for trouble
i never wanted this
i still don't yet you
have forced me to feel
i will never be enough
please explain to me
what do you mean
Melanie Jackson Jan 2020
the stench is strong
the  cigarettes
burn in the tray
my eyes burn
as i strain to see
in the smoky haze
the hunger
in my stomach grows
but the fridge is empty
i chew on my gums
allowing the hunger
to subside
the door opens
i stare at the floor
my eyes fearful
he walks in
i plead in my mind
for someone
anyone
to save me
my eyes flash
as his hand
strikes my face
Melanie Jackson Dec 2020
our picture perfect memories
pick me up and off the floor
cant help finding myself
looking back on the days before
and i wonder if i ever cross your mind
i miss every thing i up and left behind
sorry to the people i left for a better life
i seems that leaving you behind has brought me
to a place were i no longer find
pain and brokenness left in the tracks i leave behind
Melanie Jackson Nov 2019
i know
what i need
yet you insist on telling me
what i need
you told me to hurt myself like its
what i need
you told me that hope is
what i need
you told me smiling is
what i need
but how can i when you say
what i need
like you control all of
what i need
but i know best
what i need
Melanie Jackson Feb 2021
Sometimes I notice it
When the walls get to big
And the world distorts
When I'm crashing to the earth
When the world is thruming
Pulling me under the universe
And other times I can't
Sometimes I lay
In pieces on the hard wood
While my mind rushes away from me
And crashing through
Like a meteor to the ground
Melanie Jackson Jun 2019
you don't know
and i dont always say it
i know i don't make it clear
you don't understand
and i don't say it
but you are my roots
you are my soul
you don't know
how much i need you
maybe i should say it more
because i love you
and you need to know
what you mean to me
Melanie Jackson Sep 2021
he will say it for the first time
not to your face
but through a phone screen
through a text message
while hes on vacation
that he of course couldnt take you on

when a boy says he loves you
for the first time
you will smile
because those words have never been said
with more meaning or passion

when a boy says he loves you
though it seems true its not
what those words really mean
is say it back to me
open your heart be raw to me
so i can easily break your fragile heart

when a boy says he loves you
it means to get ready for distance
for being pushed away
while he tries to keep you trapped

when a boy says he loves you
it is just a ploy
fluttering through his lips
like it means nothing to him
like it is but 3 words
meaningless
painfully easy for them

when a boy says he loves you
know he expects it in return
but dont give it to him
because remember
boys will be boys
Melanie Jackson Feb 2021
he says
he's not a poet
but i find his poems
to have more meaning
more beauty, more heart
to them than mine
and the way
he uses his words
can change how a person is feeling
from sad to happy
just with a couple of phrases
knitted together

he says
he's not a good writer
but those early morning
last minute essays
of pure adrenaline and
half-awake thoughts
present ideas
in such a way
that it's impossible
to find them anything
but perfect

he says
he's not sure
what his future will bring
but i know him
he's smart
and he's
so wonderfully stubborn
that wherever he may end up
he will go farther
than anyone could have ever imagined
including me
i can't predict exactly where he'll be
in 4 months
or 4 years
but i know his path will go
down the most bountiful roads
and in the end
he'll be happy
and all will be worth it

he says
he's not grateful
but almost everything he does
he does for others
he loves his parents
and hurts when they hurt
he realizes what they do
for him, and wants to make them
the proudest parents on earth
he loves his friends
and tries to make them better

he says
he's a relationship whisperer
and i guess he's right
because with a few choice words
gentle nudges and an onslaught
of appreciated suggestions
he whispered us together

he says
that the dark spots on the sun
can bring shadow
to the most brilliant light
but not even
the dark of endless night
can dim his brightness
or hide him from those
who see him for who he is
who see his potential

he doubts herself
sometimes she thinks
he won't succeed,
always worried
that what he's done
isn't enough
or that there's too little time
to get everything done
but no matter the odds
no matter what he's up against
he pushes through
he persists, he fights
and he gets what he wants
or as close to what he wants
as is actually possible
sometimes he even achieves the impossible
and it's nothing if not admirable
showing me that anything is possible
proving to me that
"You could rattle the stars
You could do anything
If only you dared"
not by anything i've done
but by everything he's accomplished

he says
he's not beautiful
true, she's not a model
but that doesn't mean he's not perfect
but the way those eyes shine
like earth kissed by spring rain
promising life and happiness,
mirrored by his wide smile
though not often seen,
just one smile from him
is like a ray of sunshine
through grimy windows
bringing light into a place
that knew nothing but darkness,
warm enough to melt the walls
surrounding the coldest of hearts
And i would never love anyone else
Melanie Jackson Oct 2021
When I asked if you loved me
It wasn't because I wanted love
It was because I wanted to feel loved
Which is a different concept entirely
But of course you can't understand
When have you ever
Melanie Jackson Jan 2020
when i come home
my tears will dry
when i come home
my eyes wont hurt
when i come home
you words won't touch me
when i come home
i will find myself
Melanie Jackson Jan 2022
he will be my best friend
he will be kind
he will be exciting

when i meet him
he will make me smile
he will dry my tears
he will want me

when i meet him
he will understand me
he will see through my mask
he will want me for who i am

when i meet him
whoever he may be
i will know
because he will be perfect for me
Melanie Jackson Apr 2019
i was on my own
for so long
and i
was
sad
and when
i fell in love with
you i felt guilty about being
happy because i had become my
saddest best friend and who am i
without my sadness and whos my sadness
without me?
Melanie Jackson May 2020
when i see your face
as you walk into the room
im always reminded
of what i used to mean
T O   Y O U
Melanie Jackson Dec 2020
i almost think your mad at me
like how you like to say you had it worst
but now you cant
because i was sexually assaulted
like its my fault
like its my bad
like how could i let something like that happen
how could i have gone though something worse
then your parents divorced
but wait aren't my parents divorced to
but no i dont get that crutch
because i was 3
and you were 16
Melanie Jackson Oct 2021
when the smile you hide behind
becomes to much a weight to carry
you will be 16 the first time
it will fall for no reason
you wont understand why
you will feel the heat of the tears
as they run down your face
and you will see how old you truly are

when the smile you hide behind
becomes to much a weight to carry
you wont understand why
you knew you would grow
knew you had to get older
but you realize then
that everything you knew
everything you loved
it will hurt you wont know why
but you thought you would never make it this far
and yet you did

so when the smile you hide behind
becomes to much a weight to carry
remember that you will get stronger
and when your ready
you can pick it back up again
Melanie Jackson Jan 2022
where am i
when i close my eyes
when i sing the words
that are painted on the pages
but somehow they speak to me
like they where written for me
like they are speaking to me
where am i
when you smile at me
and my stomach floats
when we harmonize perfectly
where am i
when you speak to my heart
I'm probably giving in
to the idea of new love
Melanie Jackson Jul 2022
wherever you may go
wherever you may be
I will stay with you
through any tribulation
through any fight
ill wait for you
ill stay up all night
because even if we scream at each other
fight like we don't want to be together
feel like we're crashing
I know we were meant to last
I know that you are my last
because my heart chases you
and wherever you may go
Melanie Jackson Sep 2020
W H I S P E R
can you hear her
can you listen if she calls her
dreaming of being
C L O S E
to the people that stand
just far off the
E D G E
but far enough to keep them
a little too far out of
R E A C H
who
Melanie Jackson Mar 2020
who
who are
Y O U
do you let your
P A S T
control yo or do you have
P O W E R
over the soul that has always been
Y O U R S
Melanie Jackson Mar 2019
who am i
who are you
who are they
who was he

i am broken
you are cruel
they are unknowing
he was unhelpful

i am hurt
you are awful
they don't understand
he was confused

i am lost
you are selfish
they are not helping
he was gone
Melanie Jackson Feb 2020
the things that you
S T O L E
i will never forgive you for
the person i was seems
L O S T
in some kind of transit
i can't help feeling the
P A I N
that you inflicted on me
and yet somehow i still
B L A M E
myself
Melanie Jackson May 2019
my palms are pure
my heart is strong
my tears are clear
my head is smart
my hands are tough
my scares are hidden
this is who we pretend to be
Melanie Jackson Sep 2021
will i ever
i find myself asking wondering if i can
if i deserve
if ive done enough
and maybe i havent
theses thoughts weaving there way in
taking over my mind
until im brought back
to a place of mistakes
and incompleations and lost causes
and i wait until i forget my
will i evers
Melanie Jackson May 2020
the tree dips down
pulling at the grass
R E A C H I N G
to pull there roots
but like a willow i also
B R E A K
easily even though i seem strong
on the outside
i still lose my
B R A N C H E S
once in awhile
especially after a violent
S T O R M
Melanie Jackson Feb 2021
will you be there
when i say good night
will you be there
when i break down
will you be there
when im crying
and my vision goes blurry
when my love is over run by pain
will you be there even when im not okay
when my brain takes my smile
with flashes
with broken images
will you be there
to hold me when i need you most?
Melanie Jackson Nov 2019
the morning sun
upon my face
the bitter cold
nips my nose
the soft snowflakes
fall across my cheeks
the winter breeze
allows my hair
to freeze
welcome home
winter birds!
as christmas begins
Melanie Jackson Mar 2019
i wish i could forget
i wish i could love
i wish i could smile


but you took that from me
but you stole that from me
but you drove that out of me

did you mean to hurt me
did you mean to **** my innocence
did you mean to **** my heart

it is your fault i'm scared
it is your fault i cant breath
it is your fault im hurt

will you apologize
will you hurt anyone else
will you ever forgive yourself
Melanie Jackson Mar 2020
i wish it didnt
H U R T
so **** bad
i wish i could have
A V O I D E D
this completely
i wish you didnt
H A V E
to leave me
Melanie Jackson Dec 2020
sometimes it feels like im wishing
like im dragging this baggage
and calling it a
D R E A M
like if i collect every wish in a jar
and now they are stacked upon my back
and as my baggage grows heavier i find myself
leaving the more important wishes
B E H I N D
i guess i just wish you didnt put the wait of your
W I S H
upon my shoulders because when you did
i forgot my
D R E A M S
Melanie Jackson Jan 2021
His eyes dance like the snowflakes
Unique most special
His arms pull me in like a tide
Warm and strong
His lips press onn mine
Soft and loving
As we spin around his kitchen
Light and happy
And i realize that this boy truly loves me
Sweet and kind
And i have as well knowing we will
Withstand our time
Melanie Jackson Feb 2020
i had a dream last
N I G H T
about how we only get one
LIFE
woke me up before
2  AM
i stayed awake and thought of
Y O U
so i wouldn't lose my
M I N D
because if we only die
O N C E
i want to die
W I T H  Y O U
Melanie Jackson May 2019
your words are threads you can
speak them fast you can speak
them slow you can  speak them
when no one else can know you
string these strands into a song a
poem that can grow so long so
like i said for you to know
remember that even your words
are like threads that you can weave
Melanie Jackson Sep 2020
our government expects us to work for
T H E M
we pay there taxes on food
on tampons on water
yet when we say those things should be
F R E E
you act as if our wrong as if its not our
H U M A N   R I G H T
to eat to keep ourselves clean to stay
A L I V E
and you shun those who cant pay your
T A X E S
as if there *****
as if there some kind of a different
B R E E D
i guess i just dont understand why they expect
U S
to work so hard for the things that are
N E C E S S A R Y
to every living being
Melanie Jackson Feb 2020
you sit next to me
only a few feet between us
and yet even though your so close
i feel like you are
W O R L D S     A W A Y
Melanie Jackson Jan 2022
I look in your eyes
and suddenly I'm swept into a world
where we never collide
and I start to feel like I'm missing out on my whole life
cause I ran and I danced and I felt alright
but I promise that after the end
I will stand taller
because even though its making me sick
we can heal
Melanie Jackson Apr 2022
dont you ever let your mistakes
make you feel you aren't worthy
of my love
you are more deserving of me
than i am of you
you are the only one i will ever want
you are more worthy of my love
than any other person could ever be
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