We are flowers with petals so beautiful
Each dyed with our past
Blood, abuse, fear, addiction
Each a different color each a different petal
Every trauma adding more beauty
For flowers teach themselves to bloom
Even after the harshest winters
And so have we

There is a house fire
But it’s dying down now
I escaped your grasp
Forgot the pain you put me through
Forgot the way he flames felt
Licking my cheeks
The third degree burn are finally healing
You don’t get to write my death time
Because my hearts still beating
These flames didn’t flat line me
Even though they should have
Even though you wanted them to
Except now I control the flames
Putting them out around me
So I guess it’s my turn to ask
What do you control?

It’s okay to not be perfect
I hear it almost daily
It’s okay to breath
But I carry this anxiety around with me
Like a backpack
It’s stuck to me it’s become a comfort
Like a friend I can always relay on to be there
And because of that
somehow it’s grown comforting
Because I can always count on my anxiety
To be there for me

I won’t say I hate you
Because no matter how much
I wish I never met you i don’t
But your love didn’t grow flowers
It built coffins
And I know it’s wrong of me
But I don’t forgive you
I can’t just forget how you
Burnt the house you called a home
to the ground
Was that just to excuse
all the pain you went through
I remember when you would start fights
Just to have the control to put tears in our eyes
Now there soaking through the floorboards
And I could always tell
When the liquor was to strong
I could see it in your eyes
I don’t think I can ever understand
what you did to me
Are you better now that I’m gone

When people are in love
It’s said there falling
Like maybe they tripped
On the uneven sidewalk
Face forward
And Into the arms of the one they love

I did more
then simply fall on the ground for you

You at least for me
Where like diving into and ocean
Headfirst
Jumping
Crashing
Almost painfully
Into the depths of you

I knew how to swim
At least I thought I did
But I am drowning
Entangled in you
And I am surrounded by you
And I love the feeling of you engulfing me

And I love the feeling of you
Flowing against my whole being
And I have never tried to reach land
And I never will
For if I where ever to find land
It would mean leaving you

And after submerging into the depths
The love
The passion
The happiness of you
How could I ever leave?

What doesn’t **** you makes you stronger
I’ve heard that said far to many times
But growing up in a house on fire
That doesn’t make you stronger
That leaves you with
third degree emotional burns
That manifest into unbridled chaos
I mean I can’t even light the stove top
I mean I can’t even taste cheep beer
Or smell cheep wine
Without the feeling of your fist
Colliding with my cheek bone
Without the feeling of purple bruises
Burning across my cheeks
You where the reason the house was lit on fire
Don’t try to tell me I’m stronger

It is the most wonderful feeling
To have someone kiss your wounds
Nurture your scars
And look at you not like your a disaster
Not like your the sum
Of all your mistakes
Of all your pain
And to love you even in your darkness
It is an amazing feeling
To know that you have a healer