Sometimes I get in my head
Start to question if
I should've left even you
But that house was so small
This worlds so big
I'm sorry I left you behind
But I'm so glad I did

Start to a new year
This used to come
with so much confidence
Have your yearly set goals
Something to work towards as you go
I've never felt so ******* alone
When I can't find my purpose
Can't find my place
Looking in different doorways
Avoiding when there slammed in my face
Wish I could say I'm happy
Sometimes it feels like I never was
But I'm glad you came
It hurts so much less

Sometimes when the snow falls
When winter truly takes hold
I think about those nights I spent
Loving you
Even though it hurt me
I miss you when it's cold
Even if you where always passive
And I was getting carpal tunnel
From trying to keep holding on
And it makes me sad
The way I left you but I'm glad I did
It was for the best

Denial is a river
And baby I've drowned at the bottom
Watched it flow above my head
Watch the bubbles leave my mouth

Denial is a river
She ***** you down deep
Leaves you sure your fine at the bottom
After all you can see even if it's blurry

Denial is a river
I'm learning how to swim with the tide
Learning how to tread the water
So maybe I won't drown

These woes are my canvas baby
Do you get what I means
These words have built my army
Filled with my colors and dreams
I try to rest easy
But they wake me up early
They bounce around me restless
Till they feel like there honest
Even when there spiraling out of control

Why does christmas eve
Always feel so heavy
Why do I always feel like I'm waiting
For the shoe to drop because
Christmas was never about your kid
It was about the women
Who'd ruin it

Tie me a tournaiquet
Around my heart
Before you stab me in the back
Maybe then I won't fall so hard
Bleeding out in your hands
It feels like I've neglected my blood
Forgotten about the body it ran through
**** trying to save you
While I bleed out on your shoe
So tie me a tourniquet
Around my heart
Before you stab me in back