I'm tired of feeling your hands instead of his. I'm remembering and shattering and losing myself to the pain. Get out, get out, get out.

Fingertips have memories
Mine can't forget you
The curve of your spine
The freckles across your nose
The veins that run along your arms
The firm muscles of your legs
The strength behind your hands
The love inside your soul

A child stuck in a rotting body.
A life built on manipulation and ***. An addict of lust.
An attention-starved fool.

I weep
because your love
overwhelms me
and
I cannot contain
the feelings
that pour out of
my open heart.

She looked at us today and made a face...
My God, she knows.
Of course she can see right through me.
She doesn't miss much around here.

I only stared back and closed the shutters.

And when these words are no longer enough, hold on.

No free verse
         haiku
            or sonnet
could ever portray
the amount of love
this beating,
bleeding heart
holds for
you.

Take me to the mountains
where the air is crisp
and the water is clean.

Those cries will be with me for the rest of my life -- never resting, never fading, never ceasing their call to join them.

Your bones shift under tanned skin
and I want to melt into you, to morph our bodies together until neither of us know who is who

"I look into your eyes and I see me. I see the person I used to be. I see the emptiness, the hurt. I know that hurt better than anyone."

Would it be impulsive to stick my hand into the flame and let your fire consume me?

I can't speak my own mind because everyone is too ******* worried that you'll slit your wrists

Love sought is good, but given unsought better.

No one loves me.
I did.
I would've.
I could have loved you so easily if you'd have let me.
But you kept yourself so closed off.
Why?
Why did y--
Except you. You do... I know you did. I'm sorry I never...
What?
How did you..?
I never told you...
You nev--
I'm sorry I didn't let you.

Never had I felt so unwanted in my entire life. For the first time, you gave me an inkling of doubt. That inkling later turned into a stain that covered my entire heart, blocking you from it. You didn't want me. You wanted someone else. I was barely a month post-operation. My self confidence was frighteningly low. Did you notice? You always called me confident, but I wasn't. Not then. It only got worse after I read those text messages. I'm sorry I did, but I knew something was wrong. I was right. You had wanted someone who wasn't me. In a way, it felt like cheating. You would've, had there not been a strict "no touching" rule. You would've. As I read those texts, I jumped up, ran down my grandmother's hallway, and locked myself in her bedroom. My hands were shaking and my knees were weak. How could you? I felt like my heart had been ripped out of my chest. How could you? God, it ******* hurt. It hurt it hurt it hurt. You destroyed any trust I had in you. From then on out, my trust was lacking. It never returned. Never.
One thing I've realized looking back on things is that you didn't care. You barely cried while my pain was pouring down my cheeks. You hardly blinked. You thought that I would welcome you back with open arms. You actually got upset when I wouldn't kiss you, three days after having my heart broken. *******. ******* for hurting me like that.
I should've ended it then. I should've broken your heart.
Then maybe you would have understood.

I used to cry for you
But now I only cry for me

I miss you in this
space between my lungs,
though it's not my heart...
I don’t know what it is.

I always stop myself when the thoughts arise
because I could never let my father
find me that way.
Surely, he would die as well.

Isn't it funny
how we go to school
after spending shiftless nights
reading each other's poetry
and act as if
we haven't seen a small fraction
of souls
so well hidden
under white shirts
emblazoned with the school crest?

It was terribly awkward.
He wrapped his arms around my waist and without warning,
placed his chapped lips on my virginal ones.
I pulled back and scrunched up my nose.
"That wasn't too good, was it?"
"No, not really."
"Can I do it again?"
The second time was better.
He had run his tongue over his lips this time.
It didn't matter anyway.
He wasn't the one I wanted to be kissing.
It was always him.
Maybe it always will be, in some part of my mind.

I could feel my heart
the rapid beat of it
reverberating in my chest
sweat collecting behind my head
and in my palms
thoughts racing
God, I didn't want anyone to ask
"Who was that about?"
oh, please
anything but that
as if it were really important
but of course
the question was asked
and I looked away
smiling down at my shaking fingers
**"No one important."

You constantly push buttons
But when will the bomb detonate?

I can still taste your love on the corners of my mouth

I want summer --
no stares from kids I don't know,
no glares from kids I unfortunately do.

It was so real.
Do you remember?
Don't you see?

Please don't make me talk about it  
                      make me repeat the cruel words she wrote
                      make me take you step by grueling step
                      make me say the words I'm struggling to spit out
                      make me explain my depression
                      make up excuses
                      make me lie
                      make me fall for you

I'm a sunbather, basking in the light you emit

On days where I find breathing difficult, I come to you and you push oxygen through my withering body. Who am I to want more from the person that gives me everything?

Let's get lost
in music
in our words
in each other
I don't want to know
where I end
and where you begin
Let's lose ourselves
in eyes of love
and passion
Don't think
Just stay here
by my side
I promise
that you won't
know what
hit you

War is over now
I feel my mind returning
Carried on a cloud
Every nerve was burning over you
I never had a need at all for anyone
Anyone other than you
But now that's through
Sold fool...
We're prayin' to get it fast
And we pray it's in the past
Is anything we do, ever gonna last?
Couldn't I have a clue?
Searchin' the blue
Couldn't I have a clue?
Searchin' the blue
Searching the blue

I wake up every morning
wishing I could fall back asleep
and never greet the sun again

And I know I'll spend the next two months avoiding words I should've said then, so I'll opt to write them on your freckle covered shoulders and hope that you'll understand

How does it feel?
How does it feel
To be without a home
Like a complete unknown
Like a rolling stone?

Does the night haunt you like it haunts me?

So selfish  
So unsuspecting
Who will be there for you
when you're done projecting?

It has a way of either repressing or promoting sound.
It is easier to display your innermost thoughts in it.
But it can also lower your voice, giving you a place to hide.
You can be small or large, dead or alive.
Who would know?

Hidden away from the wind and rain
Block them out, we're alone again

So that's what I am to all of you.
A ******. A sinner.
Fine, so be it.
I loved like none of you have before.

Did we unknowingly search for each other in the darkest hours?
You, the sun - I, the moon.
They, the opaque night between.
We were hidden.
But finally, the light shone through.
Us, a pair -- a motley two, a mismatched pair of fools.
Is it fate that strings these calico hearts together?
A Higher Power with a guiding hand?
Or is it we who create our own destiny?
Did you find me...
   or did I find you?

I have no voice if I don't speak my mind