I felt a rush of tears
flooding my eyes  
and an unseen force
pushing gold through my veins.
It was then that I realized --
I will be in love with music
for the rest of my life.

I don't care about you
And I would tell you to your face
If I knew you could *take it

You are stronger now than you ever were before.

You know I never loved you more
Than when we were running from those sirens

"When does it end?"
"Hmm?"
"The pain of memories. When does it end?"
*"...It doesn't. It grips onto your wrist and for some ******* reason, it doesn't let go."

Bright blue eyes of youth,
for who do you search?

You told me that you loved me and I believed you then  
You told me he was nothing and I believed you then
You told me you had made friends and I believed you then
You told me he was "just being nice" and I believed you then
You told me I was more than enough and I believed you then
But you didn't
He never was
They weren't
He knew
I wasn't
I believed the words you said and my God, do I wish I hadn't

You, my first real love, will always hold a place in this heart.
Whether you choose to remain is completely up to you.

"Leigh... I'm not her."
Yes, I know but a hand is a hand and it frightens me nonetheless.
"I'm not going to push myself on you."
Yes, I know but she said that and I don't believe words anymore.
"I wouldn't do that."
Yes, I know but you don't, not really, and I can't explain it.
"I never will, Leigh, please know that."
Yes, I know but she said that, too, and she went back on it.
"I'm sorry."*
Yes, I know.

You keep saying that you want me to be happy,
but I don't think you do.
Not at all.
So understand this --
I don't care if you don't want me to be happy,
because, ******, I'll do it anyway.
I will smile at "our" friends
and laugh at the ridiculous things they say.
I will find happiness in myself.

This lipstick rested on yours before it graced my lips  
Now it stains someone else's hips

You were a cold companion, with eyes of sleet and a heart of ice.
Woman, are you warm now?

Two steps forward, two steps back
We watch each other fall
Me, into waiting arms
You, into the Black Dog
Which will make it out alive?

Your smile is contagious and I can't help but return it.
Your laugh is infectious and I can't help but to join in.
Your happiness is radiant and I can't help but to bask in the light.
Your life is precious and I can't help but to preserve it.
*Why do you make me feel so alive?

The timing was all wrong...
so I made it right.

PASSING stranger! you do not know how longingly I look upon you,
You must be he I was seeking, or she I was seeking, (it comes to me, as of a dream,)
I have somewhere surely lived a life of joy with you,
All is recall’d as we flit by each other, fluid, affectionate, chaste, matured,
You grew up with me, were a boy with me, or a girl with me,          5
I ate with you, and slept with you—your body has become not yours only, nor left my body mine only,
You give me the pleasure of your eyes, face, flesh, as we pass—you take of my beard, breast, hands, in return,
I am not to speak to you—I am to think of you when I sit alone, or wake at night alone,
I am to wait—I do not doubt I am to meet you again,
*I am to see to it that I do not lose you.

Wasn't it fear all along?

Trust me, I know what you can do.

I burn for you and you alone;
Your love lights a flame
that will not dim
nor extinguish.

I'm sinking
further
and
further
into this bottomless hole
Sometimes I think I'm going mad
out of my mind
or maybe I'm just afraid
Afraid of what I'm becoming
or afraid of what I am

Maybe I'd be good enough six feet under

Slowly but surely, we will heal.
We'll mourn for the piece of ourselves that we lost and swear we'll never love so much again...
but surely, we will heal.

If I were to break your nose and shatter the bone around your corrupted heart... Would I feel better then?

Take a knife to my heart
Rip through until it bleeds
Maybe then you'll understand
Maybe then you'll really see

I've learned to love you like I never have before -
with my whole self - body, mind, heart, and soul.

Heat travels up my spine,
endangering what's left,
but you know how to quench the flames.

This love overwhelms me; I am afraid to fall again.

"Don't ask yourself 'What if I'm wrong?'... Ask yourself 'What if I'm right?'."

What a relief
To be away from the memories
Of these hallways
These bathrooms
These shadowed corners
That remind me of you

Here, we build walls.
There, we can tear them down.

Stay a little longer --
10:30, 11...
No, I'm not tired --
11:30, 12...
Officially, then --
12:30, 1...
I guess we should sleep --
Zzz...

If someone even dares to say your name around me,
only one word comes to mind.
It's the best word to describe you.
The basic definition?
Miserably inadequate.
Synonymous with your name.
I pity you.
Truly, I do.
I cannot imagine what it's like to not be able to help yourself.
Isn't that the goal of humans?
"Help yourself in order to help others."
But you can't.
How sad, how miserably inadequate.

I can feel you watching me as I walk past and
I am left feeling self conscious, confused, and unsure

The back of my eyelids lack a sun
and I plunge into unbearable
darkness once more.

You became the person you feared

Two years ago today, I held death on the back of my tongue.
Two years later, I hold you in the safe haven of my arms.

I check over my shoulder when I feel your blatant stare
I listen for your footfalls in an empty hallway
I tune out your shrill laughter at lunch
I check for the lack of your feet in bathroom stalls  
I grow silent at the mention of ****
I cringe when your friends send me glances of pity  
I wish no one else had your name
***** you

For once, be your own crutch.

My eyes burn with tears unshed.

I'm going to miss you
and that lipstick stain tattoo