Shaking hands
Stuttering excuses
Empty bottles
Endangered bodies
Repressed memories
Unspoken words
Open windows
Wrinkled shirts
Stained sheets

I won't allow myself to need someone as much as I once needed you

Your fingers traced stars against the galaxies of my mouth and I forget to listen to the dark and the celestial.

Reaching over
and not feeling your warmth
beneath my hand
is the epitome of loneliness.

Like stars in the deepest night, we expand across the darkness and fear only the empty void in ourselves.

It takes a special kind of fool to love you

Steal the air from my lungs
Watch my ribs crack inward

I want to smash every mirror
with these bloodied knuckles
so that I never have to bear
the sight of my own
pain

Broke my heart in July
Broke my body in August

I am broken, bruised, scarred, and bleeding -- I do not deserve the love you give to me on a silver platter.

Where I'm supposed to be:
Pressed against your side,
your warm hand in my cold one.

I'm trying so hard to be everything you want me to be, but in reality, I'm not any of those things

What folly of yours
is wisdom of mine

Fake for loving you?
You're **** right.

Why didn't I have the courage to ever say no?

I'm trying.

Anger --
Spit in my face
Rip up our photos
Burn all my love letters
You're just one step closer
Go ahead
End me

You have no trouble joking about boyfriends with everyone else,
so what's wrong with me?
Why can't you be that way with me?
Now that I have someone I can share with you, I want to be able to.
But you ignore and scream and become paranoid.
What's wrong with you?

Maybe the stars aligned
or maybe I just changed my mind

I will never hide love again

Tread lightly, for the ice will shatter with the tiniest of pressures

Your love for me runs true -
Freely, purely, without constraint.
Who am I to stop you?
How am I to want anyone more?

You have me flying high,
finally feeling free.
Teach me how to use
these newfound wings.

If the eyes are the windows of the soul,
then the shutters of my windows are
*permanently sealed.

Maybe you became
the girl
who wears black
because your mother
told you
that no color
looked "good"
against your
pale skin
and
bleeding heart.

Will you be angry?
Will my intentions be justified?
Will you run?
Will you understand why I've been acting the way I have?
Will you scream?
Will I lose the love I've fought for?
Will you cry?
*Will you still be mine come morning?

I am remembering

Without your hand in mine,
I feel loneliness seep in.

None of you know
None of you have any idea

I want to mark your skin blue  
I want to leave my scent on your sheets
I want to press and scratch and bleed
You've brought out my possessive side
...Who knew?

Go ahead and throw away
   love for lust,
but don't come crying to me
   when it turns into
      unbearable pain.

"Familiarity breeds contempt."

"This is the first day of my life. I think I was blind before I met you. I went out in the rain and suddenly everything changed. I felt as if I just woke up."

***** you and your moral high road. Don't pin that **** on me. Nine months later and I can still see through you like you're a ******* window. Did you want what was best for me in July? How about August? Or January? Or March, when you thought that I opened my legs in order to open my heart? *******. I don't want your God-given *******. Take what He gave you and stay out of my life.

Will I ever forget your handwriting, the words left on paper and on skin?

You joke as if I haven't attempted suicide,
as if I haven't been *****,
as if I haven't fallen down the rabbit hole.
Why do you think it's funny?
Why do you think those words don't hurt?

When are you going to
stop talking to others
and just talk to me directly?

I have the power to destroy a person's life.
What does that make me?

Make love, break love
Beginning, end
Alpha, omega

And you, so blinded by your lust, forget to love.

Why do I have this unexplainable need to be around you at all times? It's like you've defied everything I thought I knew about love. You're the first thing I think of in the morning and the last thing I think of as my head lays upon a mascara stained pillow. How did you become such a vital part of my life so quickly? I told myself I was never going to call anyone else "my love", but here I am saying it. How did you do it, vanquish all of my demons? I thought this would make you flee, that would make you run. But you haven't budged. If anything, you've shifted closer. I could say that I've fallen for you, but I haven't. I started to fall, caught myself, leaned backwards, got pushed, and slipped into this love. Is that what this is? Love?
*Have I found love so soon after losing it?