I could be your worst nightmare if I felt so inclined... but I'm not.
I spent far too much time screaming at you to want to do it right now.
I got tired of dealing with you.
So I'm not.

Your fingers traced stars against the galaxies of my mouth and I forget to listen to the dark and the celestial.

Long ago, everything you touched turned to gold.
But now the shine is gone, tarnished with sins, lies, and hypocrisy.
Nothing can change that now.
Nothing can change you now.

Sometimes I think about the night I attempted to end my life.
Sometimes I think about what things would be like without me.
Who would sit in my desk in civics class?
Would anyone look to God and ask why?
Where would my father, my sweet and caring father, be?
What about my grandma who sees herself in me?
And my mother? My brother? My sister?
What would they have done with my things?
Would they have left my room untouched, a shrine to a life cut short?
What of my friends? Of the boy with bright eyes that hadn't set on mine?
Would my so called best friend miss me?
Would I be worth his tears?
I wish I had the answers, I wish I knew.
But for now, I'll continue living.
And I'll continue being new.

Are you angry because my parents don't know and yours do? Do they treat you even worse now? Do you want me to feel the same pain you do every time your mother looks at you?
That's low, but then again, you've stooped lower.

You gave me a bottle of lavender even though you knew I hated it.
I only opened it twice - when I received it and that night.
I found that bottle last night, hidden away in dark corners.
The minute I opened it, I regretted it.
The once sweet smell was putrid.
I coughed and heaved and felt tears ***** my eyes.
No. Please no.
...
Never again. Never.
The memory passed and I saw red.  
I gripped the tiny bottle until my knuckles turned white.
With power I didn't know I had, I threw that bottle at the wall.
It shattered, just like everything else...
So I opened my window and let the world know of your sin.

I'm tired of sidestepping you.
Next time, I'll just throw my shoulder into it.

Your love for me runs true -
Freely, purely, without constraint.
Who am I to stop you?
How am I to want anyone more?

Will I ever forget your handwriting, the words left on paper and on skin?

If I were to break your nose and shatter the bone around your corrupted heart... Would I feel better then?

No one loves me.
I did.
I would've.
I could have loved you so easily if you'd have let me.
But you kept yourself so closed off.
Why?
Why did y--
Except you. You do... I know you did. I'm sorry I never...
What?
How did you..?
I never told you...
You nev--
I'm sorry I didn't let you.

Every time I feel the flames licking at my heels,
you swoop down and save me from being engulfed.
I never have to tell you, you just... do.
How do you do it?
How do you know?

You taste like the sea, the one I've spent years looking out over and wishing it would swallow me whole.

I'm tired of feeling your hands instead of his. I'm remembering and shattering and losing myself to the pain. Get out, get out, get out.

A year ago, I was in a relationship with a girl. I thought I was in love. I thought she was the greatest thing to have ever happened to me. A year later, I realize that she isn't. You are. You. This love is the greatest thing to have ever happened to me. I'm so blessed to call you my own.

I thought I'd never love this way again,
but you held out your hand and pulled me in.

Love is turning the lights on then off again.
Love is polishing the knives and forks and spoons.
Love is wishing you were there, not here.
Love is pushing doors open and gently closing them.
Love is friendship set to music.
Love is youthful springtime.
Love is ripped stockings and black lace.
Love is blue highlighter on your cheek.
Love is old comic books collecting dust.
Love is silent exhales.
Love is, love is, love is...

I never thought I'd become the victim of a victim.

I haven't let this body crumble
And I fear that my next breath will be
Tinged with regret

Does the night haunt you like it haunts me?

The best way to keep memories at bay is to avoid... Right?

You told me that you loved me and I believed you then  
You told me he was nothing and I believed you then
You told me you had made friends and I believed you then
You told me he was "just being nice" and I believed you then
You told me I was more than enough and I believed you then
But you didn't
He never was
They weren't
He knew
I wasn't
I believed the words you said and my God, do I wish I hadn't

How does it feel?
How does it feel
To be without a home
Like a complete unknown
Like a rolling stone?

Your apologies are bitter pills.
Swallow them yourself.

The pressure is gone -- thank god, you love me still.

Drag me down to the river and throw me in
Aint talkin bout the shallow but the deepest end
Take me down and hold me under
Don't let me breathe
Until you know i'm good and ready
For you to rescue me

Will you be angry?
Will my intentions be justified?
Will you run?
Will you understand why I've been acting the way I have?
Will you scream?
Will I lose the love I've fought for?
Will you cry?
*Will you still be mine come morning?

Your hand grasped mine
In Louisiana heat
And I swear
I felt my heart quake
And my world shake

You put yourself in stupid places
Yes, I think you know it's true
Situations where it's easy to look down on you
I think you like to be the victim
I think you like to be in pain
I think you make yourself a victim
Almost every single day

You say they taught you how to read and write
They taught you how to count
I say they taught you how to buy and sell
Your own body by the pound
I think you like to be their simple toy
I think you love to play the clown
I think you are blind to the fact
That the hand you hold
Is the hand that holds you down

I don't want to hear a single word you have to say. Knowing you, it's going to be a bunch of "I'm sorry" ******* with a "Don't go to the school with this" thrown in there. Yeah, *******, whatever. I can't even look at you without wanting to break your nose. What makes you think I want to listen to the **** spilling from your liar's mouth? No, thank you. I think I'll survive without a ******* apology for something you probably don't remember.

Wasn't it fear all along?

Forget me
I couldn't hate you anymore than I already do
You ******* up that relationship
Don't **** over this one because you're stuck on impressions

Oh, you fool... you fool so blinded by your own mistakes. Does no one pity you now?

You want and want and want but once you get, you give back... even when you're not wanted.

Fake for loving you?
You're **** right.

None of you know
None of you have any idea

You were a child
And I got tired of babysitting

So selfish  
So unsuspecting
Who will be there for you
when you're done projecting?

I've got a feeling I can't prove

Switch the blade like I switched my heart;
Cool and clean and parallel.

I'm waiting for you to shatter
Because the glue isn't holding so well

It's beaten
It's over
It's done
I have finally *won

I see your smiling face and weep silently, all along wishing I could bring your son back to you.