So this is what it's like to be loved

You are too strong to be abused,
too kind to be taken advantage of.

When your heart is too large
You forget to close the door
And stray tomcats walk on in
Where there is nourishment to feed on
And a bowl of cool milk
But when you want them gone
They send questioning glances
And wonder when you shut the window
Folowed by the slam of a door

I've thought about it so many times
Whether I would whisper it in the morning
Or simply state it late at night
And I've thought about the look in your eyes
Maybe hatred or love  
Compassion or pity
Either way, I'd be terrified  
So say you'll still love me
Say you'll still want me to stay
Because I don't know how I'd handle
Being a stranger in this family

If I fell in love with you
Would you promise to be true
And help me understand
Cos I've been in love before
And I found that love was more
Than just holding hands

If I give my heart to you
I must be sure
From the very start
That you would love me more than her
If I trust in you oh please
Don't run and hide
If I love you too oh please
Don't hurt my pride like her
Cos I couldn't stand the pain
And I would be sad if our new love was in vain

So I hope you see that I
Would love to love you
And that she will cry
When she learns we are two
Cos I couldn't stand the pain
And I would be sad if our new love was in vain

So I hope you see that I
Would love to love you
And that she will cry
When she learns we are two
If I fell in love with you

It all started in this theater
In this parking lot
Standing next to this truck...
So let the windows fog up
We aren't looking through
The only thing I can see
Is the light in your eyes shining blue

We all see each other in the hallway
   in between classes, at lunch, at 3:15
      but do we honestly see each other?
Do we see these poems, these words
   that are often full of darkness and misunderstandings
       but sometimes light and forgiveness?
I see you, friends of mine
   hiding in the shadows of our legacy
      ...but do you see me?

Thank you for today
And tomorrow
And the day after that
And the day after that
And the day after that...

No parent should outlive their child
And I'm sorry I almost let you

Lavender makes me sick
Vanilla makes me cringe
Set me free from olfactory memory
The smell is much too thick

Shingled roofing caves in quick, the wallpaper all peeled back
The devil walks these halls
The sinner paints them black

It's been a long time coming, the end to all our ends
The night covers misguided deeds
The moonlight shadow bends

To which do I owe the honor, the joy or haunting dreams?
The guardian stands upright
The sunlight through it streams

The abuser plays the victim...
But again,
What else is new?

"Once you commit the sin, how easy is it to do it again? Very."

Push against the window pane
But the shutters will remain *locked

Your breathing was shallow
And I longed for it's warmth
Against my goosebump covered neck

The landing is worse than the fall.

My next girl
Will be nothin' like my ex girl
I made mistakes back then and
I, I'll never do it again

Please don't say you're obsessed with me
I've had quite enough of obsessive love
It never works out right
I just want you to love me
Love my temper and my moods and my heart full of contempt
Love my laugh and my smile and
my hands full of love
But don't say you're obsessed with me
It never works out right

The timing was all wrong...
so I made it right.

I found peace atop a Ferris wheel
wedged in the space between our fingers

What did I do to deserve the hell you put me through?

Broke my heart in July
Broke my body in August

What folly of yours
is wisdom of mine

Good God, I pity you.
What's it like to be so alone?

On days where I find breathing difficult, I come to you and you push oxygen through my withering body. Who am I to want more from the person that gives me everything?

What a relief
To be away from the memories
Of these hallways
These bathrooms
These shadowed corners
That remind me of you

Everyone knows I'm right about one thing
You and I don't work out
You bring out the mean in me
I bring out your insecurities
You know what I am talking bout
Eventually you'll be fine if we break up
And one day I'll be fine too
But we should just end it now
Before someone gets more hurt than they have to

Before I ever met you
I never knew that my heart could love so hard
Before I ever met you
I never knew I would be enemies with disregard
Before I ever met you
I never knew that I liked to be kissed for days
Before I ever met you
I never knew I could be broken in so many ways

This lipstick rested on yours before it graced my lips  
Now it stains someone else's hips

Two years ago today, I held death on the back of my tongue.
Two years later, I hold you in the safe haven of my arms.

I have no voice if I don't speak my mind

You once told me that my skin was that of a porcelain doll
and now I feel like one that's been thrown against a wall,
skin cracking and waiting to be glued back together.

***** you and your moral high road. Don't pin that **** on me. Nine months later and I can still see through you like you're a ******* window. Did you want what was best for me in July? How about August? Or January? Or March, when you thought that I opened my legs in order to open my heart? *******. I don't want your God-given *******. Take what He gave you and stay out of my life.

If meeting you was lucky,
I am the unluckiest person in the world.

I can't speak my own mind because everyone is too ******* worried that you'll slit your wrists

I don't know peace
There are too many things left unsaid

Frequencies so low
Heart on a string
A string that only plays solos
Rain made of echoes
Tidal wave rushing on and on

Shell made out of gold
Found on a beach picked up and you held so close
Rain washed out it's glow
Heartbeat steadily leads me down below

Under the water you scream so loud but the silence surrounds you
But I hear it loud and you fall in the deep and I'll always find you

If my red eyes don't see you anymore
And I can't hear you through the white noise
Just send your heartbeat I'll go to the blue ocean floor
Where they find us no more
On that blue ocean floor

It's sad, really.
I wish I could talk about you like I have fond memories of us.
But everything is laced with arsenic.
There's no warmth in my voice at all.
There are things I can't repeat, sunny summer days I can't picture anymore.
It feels like I spent a whole year in a fog.
*It's sad, really.

A child stuck in a rotting body.
A life built on manipulation and ***. An addict of lust.
An attention-starved fool.