All we'll do is break, like fine China falling from it's home on a cabinet shelf

I want to scream and cry and laugh and love but the hurt is too great

I'm afraid to watch you stumble and fall because I know I won't be there to bandage your scraped knees

I'm sorry that I couldn't stay,
but I'm not sorry for leaving.

Stay a little longer --
10:30, 11...
No, I'm not tired --
11:30, 12...
Officially, then --
12:30, 1...
I guess we should sleep --
Zzz...

How can you see me the way you do?
What do you see?
Is your vision selective?
Is it biased?
*How can you care so much about something so broken?

It's shocking
how quickly you
latched onto me
how reluctant
you are to  
let the
slightest bit
go.

Ever since I was a kid in school
I messed around with all the rules
Apologized, then realized
I'm not different after all

Me and the boys thought we had is sussed
Valentino's all of us
My dad said we looked ridiculous
But, boy, we broke some hearts

In and out of jobs, running free
Waging war with society
Dumb, blank faces stared back at me
But nothing ever changed

Promises made in the heat of night
Creepin' home before it got too light
I wasted all that precious time
And blamed it on the wine

I was only joking, my dear
Looking for a way to hide my fear
What kind of fool was I?
I could never win

Never found a compromise
Collected lovers like butterflies
Illusions of that grand first prize
Are slowly wearin' thin
Susie, baby, you were good to me
Giving love unselfishly
But you took it all too seriously
I guess it had to end

I was only joking, my dear
Looking for a way to hide my fear
What kind of fool was I?
I could never win

Now you ask me if I'm sincere
That's the question that I always fear
Verse seven is never clear
But I'll tell you what you want to hear
I try to give you all you want
But giving love is not my strongest point
If that's the case, it's pointless going on
I'd rather be alone

'Cause what I'm doing must be wrong
Pouring my heart out in a song
Owning up for prosperity
For the whole **** world to see

Quietly now while I turn a page
Act one is over without costume change
The principal would like to leave the stage
The crowd don't understand..........

A year later, I'm still cradling your weeping sister in my unworthy arms...

All of a sudden,
I can't ******* breathe.

"What's the date?"
"March 24th."
"..."

I watched the light drain from your eyes
and your fingers stop moving over the page.
Suddenly, I knew.
A year.
It's been a year.
****.

"I don't think I'll be here Thursday or Friday."
"And that's alright."

You looked up.
I looked down.
Away and back at you.

"That's alright."

As I took your hand,
I felt the final crack in my heart
stitch itself together.
It was an understood
I'm here for you.
I hope you saw it in my smile.

Neither of you will ruin this for me, but ****, you'd die trying.

So that's what I am to all of you.
A ******. A sinner.
Fine, so be it.
I loved like none of you have before.

You keep saying that you want me to be happy,
but I don't think you do.
Not at all.
So understand this --
I don't care if you don't want me to be happy,
because, ******, I'll do it anyway.
I will smile at "our" friends
and laugh at the ridiculous things they say.
I will find happiness in myself.

"I can't keep myself and still keep you, too."

I take you for granted so often
that I weep when I realize
how much you actually care.

Forget about "fixing" us
and that
"one last kiss" --
you got it from someone else.

I sleep on the side of the pillow that smells least like your skin

No, that's what you think trying is.

Don't you dare say I didn't try.
You have no idea how hard I tried.
I tried
I tried
I tried

And I'm finally rested

I feel as if I've taken flight --
But is such happiness short lived?

Tighten the noose
Count the pills
Clean the needle
Polish the gun
End the pain

I'll stich the wounds myself

Untangle yourself from your sheets.
Change your clothes.
Brush your hair.
Breathe
Brush your teeth.
Drink water.
Eat fruit.
Breathe
Pick a movie on Netflix.
Watch it without distraction.
Laugh at the jokes.
Breathe
Don't think about pills.
Don't think about crying.
Don't think.
Breathe
Get up.
Change your clothes.
Wash the tear stains from your face.
Breathe
Get in the car.
Pick up your sister.
Don't let them see you breaking.
Breathe
Remember that you're loved.
You have so much to do.
You have your entire life.
*Breathe...

You're not going to let me move on

Everything would be easier with my body six feet under

Tomorrow is a new day;
the sun will rise again
to kiss the tops of trees
and warm the hearts of man.

Slowly but surely, we will heal.
We'll mourn for the piece of ourselves that we lost and swear we'll never love so much again...
but surely, we will heal.

I'm tired of being the strong one,
having to hide mascara stained tissues at the bottom of the trash.
For once, I'd like to be the one with
a head on a shoulder
crying over nothings.
When do the strong get to be the weak?

Dip your finger in the wine
and let me taste the fruit
of it's vine

I should be so lucky to die a painless death

Your presence is a  
humming in my ear,
reminding me that you're
here
that you're
alive
and that you're
**mine

The back of my eyelids lack a sun
and I plunge into unbearable
darkness once more.

I don't want to cause that kind of pain
or leave the people I love
waiting for answers that
they're never going to understand

You're a fool to be so blind

And while we lay here
weeping and fighting
for our love,
*they win.

I can't pinpoint the exact moment that music came into my life. It started with my parents, I guess. The radio was always on in our house. I'd watch Mom sway while she cooked or listen to Dad hum while he folded clothes. It was just there. Rod Stewart, ZZ Top, Led Zeppelin, Andrew Llyod Webber, Santana, The Beatles... Everywhere.

What I do remember is the first time music moved through me. I turned the volume dial and felt it jump into my finger tips. It traveled through my bloodstream, finding it's place in my heart. There, the music settled... and  hasn't left since.

I get the question a lot, you know.
"What made you fall so deep into music?". That's the story I tell them. Obviously, not that exact story because they would think me odd for speaking so 'poetically', but close enough. I just tell them it's like the wind --
moving around, in, and through me.

When are you going to
stop talking to others
and just talk to me directly?

And for the first time in months,
I think about death.

Making friends is like
building up castles from sand...
With one sweep of the hand
or one whisper from the lips
and the castle comes crashing down,
tumbling into your lap
and leaving you
helpless.
I promise that I won't
let this castle fall
or get the slightest bit
damaged.

I miss you in this
space between my lungs,
though it's not my heart...
I don’t know what it is.