It's been awhile since I've spoken to myself.
Lately, I've been ignoring my feeling and thoughts.
I am sorry but then again I'm not.
Because this is the only guaranteed way that I won't end up crying in my bed at the end of the night.
What a sad world this is.
Why doesn't this feel right?
Why is it that it seems like you don't want to be with me?
Our love isn't as strong.
Or maybe because one of us doesn't want to be in this love anymore.
What should I do?
Let you go and no longer have you feel like you have to force yourself to love me?
Or keep lying to myself that our love will get better.
Like a dying animal, I think we all know what's best.
I not going to say you never loved me, because I know you did. But that's the thing, "did". Why did you have to lie me & yourself that you still loved me? God knows how long you've been lying... It's just depressing because this love was once so beautiful and unlike no other. I believed that this love was going to last forever. But you proved me wrong, not everything last forever. If only you would have hurt me with the truth, rather than to comfort me with lies. So here I am doing you a favor, I am letting you go, completely. I won't hold you back no longer. I am setting you free. But before you leave, I want to thank you for being my first love. For being the man to showed me true happiness & true love. I know that next girl you love will be the luckiest girl in the universe. You will forever be in a special place in my heart. & no, I don't hate you. I love you. That's why I'm letting you go. Because I can't force you to love me the way I love you. So Thank you my love. For everything. <3
No longer will I take this pain.
You've suffocated me with your lies.
Stabbed me in the back too many times.
You've broken my heart so much that there is no longer anything to break.
My heart, my soul, is nonexistent.
Just last night you told me how much you miss me & how much you love me.
I believed you.
Then today I saw you talking to the girl who ruined our relationship.
It hurts because I know your feelings for her.
I know you think she beautiful & independent. You said it yourself.
I know you like her.
I can tell, because the way you looked her, well that's the way you use to look at me.
My top favorite quotes are:
"Never give up."
"Everything will be okay at the end, if it's not okay it's not the end."
"Never regret anything because at one time it was exactly what we wanted."
"Karma is only a ***** if you are."
"Life becomes easier when you learn to accept an apology you never got."
11 was your lucky number
13 was mine.
So we made "11:13 make a wish."
I still make a wish even though you're not here to make one with me.
I wish that I could go back in the past & fix the mistakes I made.
Then again I know that wish wouldn't come true.
So, I wish that whoever you end up with, they will be able to give you the happiness I couldn't provide.
You will always have a special place in my heart.
My first love, I love you.