Every time
My phone
Lights up
I check it
And hope I’ll see your name
On my screen

I loved what we had,
but here's the thing,
I only want it with you

I crave your presence
your gentle smile
the comfort of your arms

please stay a while

I’m not okay
No matter how many ******* times
You ask
I’ll never be okay
I’ll say I’m fine because it’s easier than explaining my pain
And all it’s roots and factors
Everything connected into the mess of me
I can’t ******* explain it
And I just want somebody to hold me and listen
As I attempt to accurately explain my pain
But I can’t describe it and I can’t control it
And I wish I was dead so I didn’t have to deal with it