Soon I'll have no one.

Don't be sad for me.

It's the season I'm in.

My children are grown.

My only grandchild lives far away.

I have chose to be single.

Love was never in the cards for me.

Don't be sad for me.

It's the season I'm in.

You will be here too one day.

This is a part of life.

We all wonder off alone.

Out of rebellion when we're young.

And again when we get older.  

Many start loosing their interest.

And that just fine with me.

Wisdom has taught me to let go.

Don't be sad for me

It's the season I'm in.


Lori Mack

10/11/2022

What a honor and privilege
It must be to belong.
Whether it is to belong somewhere
Or belong to someone.
It must make a person feel complete.
I'm still seeking my missing puzzle piece.
"Belong" is the piece that I seek.
I used to think I was incomplete
Cause I didn't have my other half.
But I like being single, less drama.
Now I know I'm incomplete
Cause I can't find where I belong.
I'm almost 50 and still don't belong.
Maybe I don't belong in this world.
All I know is this is not where I belong.
What I wouldn't do to just belong.
What a honor and privilege
It must be.

Lori Mack

11/7/22

This overbearing weight,
It's inhumane most times.
To carry on these tattered and bruised shoulders.
I feel the world gain it's healthy weight,
As time slips and withers mine away..

   Lori Mack
       9/26/2022

Now that everything is gone.
Now that I have nothing left.
Now that I've been damaged.
Now that i feel defeated.
Now that I finally gave up.
Now that I have no where to go.
Now after you made sure I had nothing.
Now that you made sure I had no one.
Now after you have destroyed everything I worked hard for.
Now you want to start your life and leave me on the streets.
Now I finally hear excitement in your voice about the future.
Now, just like before, I will have to shove these resentments down deep again.
Now I must keep my mouth shut and wish you the best.
Now I've learned that is how a mother truly loves.

  Lori Mack
    9/25/2022

What if this is just me?
What if this is just who I am?
What if this is who I will always be?
What if I'm never going to fit into life's little box?
What if I'm happier this way?
What if this is what makes me feel free?
What if Im sane, kind and wise this way?
What if I feel like I don't have to be a chameleon anymore?
What if my depression have faded?
What if my anxiety has dwindled?
What if my PTSD has stopped haunting me?
What if this is just who I am and what I am?
What if this is who I want to be?
What if you couldn't accept that and we continued to lose precious time?
What if your missing out on amazing memories we could've made?
What if you never stop missing me and your heart continues to ache?
What if you chose to accept me the way I am?

What if?



Lori Mack

9/22/2022

I'm just a mean *****.
These streets raised me.
Out there you have to have a vicious bark.
Sometimes you just have to let them think your wild and crazy.
And you better know how to throw a hard punch.
It's wise to always have a weapon.
I preferred ball ping hammers and hay hooks.
I'd pick one up and they'd run everytime.
I was known as a mean *****.
I've fought for everything in my life.
Ran away my 12th birthday.
The streets were friendlier.
I just didn't belong.
Just a mistake that someone threw away.
The blackest of the sheep.
It made me a mean *****.
I froze my heart inside out.
Built a towering brick wall,
Surrounded by dull rusty barb wired fence.
Blackberry thorns I've weaved through every crevice.
No one would ever concour this.
Made sure I would never feel again.
I needed to be a mean *****.
In order to survive this untamed wreck of a life.
So if your a ***** lala,
And all ******* in your self entitled feelings,
Then it's best you stay away from this mean cruel *****!

      L. Mack
      
         7/27/22

I need to know.
I deserve to know.
It's made me insane,
All these years to not know why.
48 long, drawn out, unbearable years entirely alone.
Anyone that stayed in my life stayed to rob me or ruin me.
Why does everyone deserve someone but me?
Everyone has someone.
Someone they can trust
Someone they can talk to.
Someone that loves them.
Everyone but me.
Sure i have my children but they are grown and have enough weight of their own.
And Im not talking about a relationship.
**** relationships.
Life done taught me i'm not worthy.
Or God not sure which it is.
But neither likes me or want anything good for me.
I just need to understand why I've never really been wanted or needed for that matter.
What did I do?
I'm not a horrible person.
Even pedophiles have someone.
Family or a friend someone.
Family didn't want me from the beginning and hated me for existing.
Friends take advantage of me til there is nothing left to take.
Then the abandon me.
What did I do?
People say we'll you've always got God.
And I thought I did.
His betrayal cut the deepest.
And I found out my greatest fear was true.
Nobody has ever and will never want me.
I don't belong anywhere.
And no one claims me.
What did I do?


   L. Mack
        7/10/22