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Kylie Wallen Feb 2014
I'm tired of always being the problem..
Kylie Wallen Dec 2013
Beauty was he,
For the way that he spoke.
And those dazzling eyes,
That made my mind choke.
And beauty was he,
For the way he was made.
That cute little smile,
That kept me wandering for days
Kylie Wallen Jan 2014
Your worthless.
No one likes you.
Don't even look at that dress. You'll look like a whale in it.
Why are you looking at him? He thinks your ugly.
Stop trying. They think your stupid.
Cry because your not worth it.
He meant that. He wasn't kidding.
Go cut because your not worth it.
Cry because your so pathetic.
Don't look at that pizza. Starve because your so fat.
Get in front of the car. They won't care if your gone.
Your mom doesn't deserve to have a kid as ugly as you.
Stop smiling.
Hang up the phone. He hates you.
Stop laughing. Your smile is ugly.
He hates you.
He thinks your ugly.
Your not good enough.
Your such a fat ***.
Your pathetic. Go cut.
They don't love you. They want you to cut. They want you to **** yourself.
He knows your lying. He knows your pathetic and miserable.
Don't try explaining. He doesn't care. He wants you gone.
Look at your wrist. Not at him.
Stop smiling.
Your not fine. Don't listen to him.
You deserve this.
No she doesn't. No one loves you
When your gone. He's gonna be happier.
He would leave you for her just like everyone else.
No ones gonna save you.
You'll never be good enough.
Your wasting your life.
You **** at drawing just go cut.
Why would he save you? Your worthless and he's perfect
Delete that picture. You look ugly.
He doesn't care that you wanna give up. He wants you to.
He wants us here. He wants you to hurt. He wants you to cry. He wants you to **** yourself cause he hates your existence.
No your not.
No your not.
No your not!!!
He hates you.
He's lying. All you have is flaws.
He will never love you.  
He'll never love you.
I told you he would go for the pretty girl.
Don't go to the dance. They'll think your ugly and tell you to leave.
Don't look at him. He won't like you.
Don't eat the pizza.
She's lying. She doesn't miss you.
He doesn't love you.
He wants you gone.
He wants you to leave and never come back.
Your just the fat girl he pity dated.
Say goodbye for the last time.
He wants you to keep them. Cut darling cut.
Don't smile. Your not worth it.
See he doesn't care.
Go. They won't cAre.
They won't care unless you were pretty or dying. Your neither.
Kylie Wallen Nov 2013
I'm falling apart?
I agree.
I'm not the same girl,
I used to be.

I tried to stop,
And go back to how I once was,
It didn't work.
I'm very sorry
Let me have a demon party
Kylie Wallen Nov 2013
Falling in love
Is a scary, scary thing
But what's scarier
Is falling in love with the pain

It starts to feel better
Little by little
And changes you
From strong to brittle
Kylie Wallen Nov 2013
I don't seem to fit in,
I'm like bent spoon in your silverware drawer.
Or the tallest flower in your garden.
Or the one sock you just can't find the match too.

Or the leftover pancake that no body wants.
Or the pencil that's it's in the bottom of your locker.
I'm the book no one wants too read.
I've always been this way
I just simply don't fit in.

(k.l)
Kylie Wallen Dec 2013
I'm gone..
And never coming back
Kylie Wallen Nov 2013
You've replaced me
With a beauty
Now I'm not mad
But when she leaves
Don't come crying
Kylie Wallen Nov 2013
Why would you ask me,
If I was okay with you leaving?
You know it kills me,
That you were laughing.
Him
Kylie Wallen Nov 2013
Him
Thank you,
So very much,
For what you did.
You strengthened my lust
I now long for the pain
I inflict upon myself
And when I'm G O N E
It's because if YOU
And no one else.
Kylie Wallen Dec 2013
Walk with me.
Take my hand.
I'll lead you to,
An unknown land.
We'll lie on the grass.
And look at the stars.
With you my home,
Isn't very far.
Kylie Wallen Nov 2013
If only you knew,
the pain I feel inside.
If only you could see,
the tears I cry at night.
If only you could hear,
my hopes and all my dreams,
cause maybe then you'd understand,
how much you meant to me.
Kylie Wallen Jan 2014
We'll have that young love




Even when we're old
Kylie Wallen Nov 2013
Late at night,
She sits in the dark,
Holding the blade,
While carving her arms.

She cries for her mommy,
Who's never there.
She looks down at her legs,
That were once so bare.

She cuts them so deep.
So deep that all she can see is blood.
She lets out a slight sigh,
And makes another cut.

She cuts once more,
Until she can't see her skin.
She feels so sore
Yet she can't hold it in.

They all think something's wrong with her,
Because she doesn't fit in.
She's just a different kind of beautiful
But it's withheld from within.

Her demons have pushed her beauty away.
So far away that she won't listen
When he says
"You look beautiful every single day"

She's now covered in blood;
That is the blackest shade of red.
For the hate
She has in her head.

Her heart is ripped at the seams
And tainted black
With a hint of green.

The green being
All that she inhales
To make the demons and the pain,
Go away.
Kylie Wallen Dec 2013
The human skin can be hard to live in,
That's why most of us tear it.
And I, my loves,
Am a hypocrite

I tell you not to tear such precious, innocent skin
While late at night
I hold my blade
And carve it in.

I like to push oh so hard.
Only to get the adrenaline
of seeing the blood and make sure I am still alive
Though I feel as if I'm not at all alive anymore

I'm a zombie
living in the palest of skin
And if your lucky
I'll let you in.

It doesn't happen often
But for some it may
Those lucky few
Will be dismayed

For I seem like a bright ray of sunshine
In this dark dark world
But jokes on you
I'm the darkest of them all.
Kylie Wallen Nov 2013
I've decided I'm not going to let people hurt me.
If only I would not hurt myself.
I've fallen into the tricks of society.
Now I'm someone else

*and I'm sorry..
Kylie Wallen Dec 2013
Your not the same.
It hurts me,
That I'm the one
Who needs to take the blame.

You started getting angrier,
Because I left
You got so fragile,
As I slept

While I was gone
You rearranged
Your cold, hard heart,
Will never be the same

You may have chosen
To take that last hit.
But who was the person
That got you started?

It's all my fault
That you hate me now
And want me to
go **** myself..

So the reason that I'm writing you this evening
Is to say good bye, tell you that I'm leaving
But don't hold your breath cause I'm never coming back
Sincerly yours, the silent screamer.
I wrote this a while ago, I found this and I realized that I'm right back in the same spot I was when I wrote it and it hurts me.. I cry a lot about this cause it scares me.. Thinking about trying to **** myself again is terrifying and I hate it!
Kylie Wallen Nov 2013
My voice has grown raspy,
My body has grown weak,
My heart has grown cold,
All I can do is shriek.

My mind is not my own anymore.
The demons have taken over
Now it's just a toy.
For them to play with and make colder.

(k.l
Kylie Wallen Dec 2013
Mom;
I'm so sorry
I know I've been
A disappointment lately
I didn't mean to drive you crazy

Dad;
I know your looking down on me
Scared that I'm doing the same thing you did
But I want to reassure you
I'm staying safe
Through
All of
It.

Roger;
Our relationship hasn't always been perfect
And you know it hurts me every time
You treat Kaitlin different
Right infront of me..
But we're Getting
A little bit better,
Slowly.
Kylie Wallen Dec 2013
You said I was all of these wonderful things,
Until you met her.
But I guess I'm not what you prefer.
I'm a lifeless eyes girl with nothing,
But the lies you said.
All still embedded in my head
Kylie Wallen Mar 2014
I thought I had it..
For once I thought I found the one person that actually loved me..
I should have known it was too good to be true.
I shouldn't have even said yes to home after he left me the first time..
We all make mistakes.. Mine just so happened to cost me my best friend..
Me.
Kylie Wallen Nov 2013
Me.
I was his personal joke
Everything about me made him laugh.
He didn't have a heart
He left without a scratch.

Unlike myself
A girl with a million scars
Living in a broken home
Cuts run up and down her arms.

(k.l)
Kylie Wallen Dec 2013
I want to cry;
But I'll seem too weak.
Because letting feelings show,
Is a sign of defeat.
Kylie Wallen Mar 2014
I think it's so ******* funny when I try my hardest to keep someone in my life and they completely ******* off. I sit there and fight for you and I think about us constantly. I think about the fact that I actually said I love you to you. Then I think about how dumb I was. You told me you cared and obviously you didn't.
I've always hated acting like I was fine when I wasn't  but I did it for you because I honestly thought I loved you.
You made me feel so much better about myself then you basically ripped my heart out. Like no, I would have liked it a lot better if we just stayed friends the first time and you didn't let me keep falling for you.
I've given up so many friendships and relationships because I thought you were my forever. You SAID you were my forever but guess what! I was nothing to you. You never cared.
You've hurt me to the point of no return.
I hate everything you are and everything you were.
Your love was fake, your fake.
Your nothing to me.. And you will never be..
My forever..
Just a little ramble.. He broke me down worse than anyone. This my friends is why I think love is fake and that it's just another word.
Kylie Wallen Dec 2013
She never liked herself
And when she met him
She turned into someone else.

*this is how love works for me
Kylie Wallen Dec 2013
I don't know what is scarier
You leaving me.
Or being the one you left her for..
Kylie Wallen Nov 2013
Is it my fault?
Did I scream too quietly?
Or did no one care?
Well darling,
Welcome to society
Where no one is ever there.

(k.l)
Kylie Wallen Nov 2013
Breath it in
Hold it for just one biter sweet moment
While thinking about them

Block them out
And exhale slowly
Say good bye
To all the bad times.

(k.l)
Kylie Wallen Nov 2013
This isnt it,
these are just the ones you can see.
Believe it or not.
You can still love me

Im a broken girl
With a broken heart.
So many broken dreams
But that's just the start.

I know it's hard
And I want to give up.
But there's an  O K in B R O K E N
and that's always enough
(k.l)
Kylie Wallen Nov 2013
Im so ew
And he's so aw
It will never work.
I will just fall

I will fall for his pretty blue eyes
And his smile that never fails
His beautiful personality
That gives me chills
Kylie Wallen Nov 2013
I will never be
The girl I was before.
My demons changed me
Now I'm insecure
I suffer by writing
what I want on my arm.
It starts with a "p";
That word is P E R F E C T
Society's slang word for self harm.

(k.l)
Kylie Wallen Dec 2013
Please don't make me regret opening up to you
Please don't tell all of the secrets
That only you knew
Just please
Let me
Trust
You
The way that I do.
Kylie Wallen Feb 2014
Let's pretend no one else exists
Kylie Wallen Nov 2013
My life is a joke
A terrible punch line.
But no ones listening
So I'll be fine

I'll keep telling it
Until someone cares
But until then,
No ones there
Kylie Wallen Nov 2013
"Btw, Have fun cutting yourself over me later since your so depressed"

A girl at my school sent me this,
That I've been best friends with for six years.
A girl at my school sent me this,
Without shedding a tear.

A girl at my school sent me this,
After she saw my cuts.
A girl at my school sent me this,
While she was on the bus

A girl at my school sent me this,
Without thinking it would hurt me.
A girl at my school sent me this,
it didn't hurt her to desert me.

A girl at my school sent me this,
Not thinking it was wrong.
A girl at my school sent me this,
Knowing I wasn't strong.

A girl at my school sent me this,
After hearing a rumor.
A girl at my school sent me this,
She thought she had great humor.

A girl at my school sent me this,
Causing me so much pain.
That girl at my school that sent me this,
Will never be in my life again.
Kylie Wallen Nov 2013
You gave me these thoughts
Causing me this pain
So thank you society
Now I'll never be the same

*******. Y O U.
Kylie Wallen Nov 2013
Can you hear the silence?
Can you see the dark?
Can you fix the broken?
Can you feel... can you feel my heart?

Can you help the hopeless?
Well, I'm begging on my knees,
Can you save my ******* soul?
Will you wait for me?

I'm sorry brothers,
So sorry lover,
Forgive me father,
I love you mother.

Can you hear the silence?
Can you see the dark?
Can you fix the broken?

Can you feel my heart? [3x]

[3x]
I'm scared to get close and I hate being alone.
I long for that feeling to not feel at all.
The higher I get, the lower I'll sink.
I can't drown my demons, they know how to swim.

Can you feel my heart?

Can you hear the silence?
Can you see the dark?
Can you fix the broken?
Can you feel... can you feel my heart?
Kylie Wallen May 2014
Baby stay away from my heart,
I don't want to be in love.
Baby stay away from my body,
I don't want to lust for you.
Kylie Wallen Dec 2013
Black was the color,
That stained her heart.
For the kids mistook it.
As a piece of art.
They ripped it in half,
And folded the edges.
A heart so broken,
Can never be mended.
Kylie Wallen Nov 2013
And he broke
Because she didn't love him
The way
He loved her.

"I would have done anything for her"
He says in a raspy voice
His heart is torn
The girl played with it like a toy

He tried so hard.
To change into what she wanted him to be
He was so far gone.
He wasn't even happy
Kylie Wallen Dec 2013
I know you said you'd never leave.
But I can't trust that cause so did he.
I was going to be with him forever.
That was my dream.
He would be my king.
And I his queen.

For the love that he gave me.
Was just as ours.
We were happy together
Until his popularity grew large.
He was too got for me,
The shy, sad, bother to the world.

I wanted so badly to be good enough for him
So I changed myself completely just to fit in.
In the blink of an eye I was gone.
I would never be found again.
I tried to be happy for as long as could be.
But every one could tell it really wasn't me.

He became my everything.
I breathed him in and held him for as long as I could.
But the thing about inhaling a substance
Is eventually you have to exhale.
And our exhale was sudden and scary.
It was the cough that gets stuck in your throat.

I held it in anyway. Through the cough and the pain
And for that I'm sorry
I held on for too long when clearly you didn't want me anymore.
That is my only regret with him.
That and falling too fast

And as long as I live
I'll remember what he did and I'll never be the same
And the words I love you will never come out of my mouth again
So thank your dear old friend for what he did to me
Because now our love is tarnished.
I guess we weren't meant to be
Kylie Wallen Nov 2013
I didn't write this.. But I think this is truly beautiful

It's the realization that what you are looking for
Is not so very hard to find

(k.l)
Kylie Wallen Nov 2013
You were nothing but a dream.
A sweet, sweet nightmare.
You meant the world to me.
And now I know,
You truly were never there.

(k.l)
Kylie Wallen Dec 2013
A drop in the weather,
A change in the season.
Why did you leave me,
Without any reason?
Kylie Wallen Nov 2013
It would have been nice,
if you told me why it had to be this way.
But as long as your happy.
Everything will be okay.

(k.l)
Kylie Wallen Dec 2013
You mess with my mind,
Time and time again.
I'm tired of playing
A game I can't win.

I lose every time,
But I keep coming back.
For your love makes me forget,
All the good that you lack.

— The End —