you gave me a necklace
made out of insults.
i didn't give it back to you
because you didn't even
see the glint that ran across
my eye.
it moved so quickly,
like numbers in the sky and
all i can really remember is we
both had coffee breath.
you said we were so similar,
logistically,
but i have yet to figure
the formula.
i wish i had a calculator for that,
but i'm only strong with words
and structures that build us up
on midnight talks and the fact
that we all struggle.
i'm struggling to read you
because you aren't in the news
or fictional in my summer novels,
and that means we are by no means
dreaming under the hard moon
that always seems smaller from
where i stand.
i am beaten by reality and
i feel so little because i once
thought i could be so
invincible to you.
we used to play games in the
car, even though it was to
neglect the thoughts
that fueled the shoe to
pressed down a little heavier.
i knew i had to,
so we could reach the only
destination that we could
taste in each other -
we wanted the lungs of a jellyfish,
        (even if they don't have lungs or gills)
the control over the weather systems,
to touch the northern lights
like it was ours to keep.
we wanted things to be fair,
the voice of billie holiday,
some luck to launch our bodies
into sweet, sweet peace.
we only wanted to see something
beyond the borders of what we
have discovered so far.
we only wanted so much more.

Call your truths.
The creator called in sick today,
leaving lessons and sessions limping from the skinny
behavior pumping through the day.
Pull up your britches.
The bumbling from the windowpane
fed the starving wind its own tiredness.
I guess it is homesickness in your head.
What happened here in December
could cross bellowing seas and could crumble
in the concaves  of your bones,
but what happens if you do not get out of bed?

At first it was bare and ripe for the picking -
my chest was pulsating under your weight you
stripped my heart like an exotic dancer would:
all eyes and no hands.

After the initial grasp, the puff puff pass and the
smiles exchanged between our legsarmslimbs and the
time it took to be rid of the excess skin crowding us in,
we breathed in sweet, sweet fumes of spring and said
things kept in our mouths, light like ecstasy but
heavier than the average promise.

But the hours it took to argue the hunger away made our
heads ache and eventually our jaws could clench no longer,
our eyes could see no more of each other - just smoke and
******* clouding our way - it was lost,
whatever it was, it

was lost.

Is it possible to know another
to become as one
or is that something poets, lovers,
and fools say
to excuse their own
folly
And, really, would we
want that kind of intimacy
and, if so,
how long
I have seen
the loss of love
the failures
the crash
the weepers
the drunks
for we are all here now

talk to me, willow tree
tell me of the life you lead.
does the wind cool you down
when your leaves fall to the ground,
or do you like the sense of relief?

You once knocked the breath out of my lungs
Only to teach me how to get it back
Stuck a mirror to my nose
And said beautiful
Do you see it?
Beautiful!
And I stopped closing my eyes for a second
And breathed

I am not a tranquil person
But in your arms
I am peaceful as the moon
And I am melted
And I am hopeful
And I am the person I thought I’d lost

You once breathed Fate into my ear
And I smiled
For you thought it romantic
But the Fates were never watching
—I made a choice—
And that should be all the more romantic
Because I decided that it was your hand I wanted to hold
And you must have thought the same
Since one day I woke up to you smiling
And another
And another
So these days I could outshine the whole universe
Provided you’re by my side

The sleet
falls harsher,
colder than
I've experienced.
The morning's color is no longer
color, simply achromatic, and
my heart warms neither
to this canvas, nor the
brushes, nor to her
smile, not even
to the dog.

–

What you don’t understand
Is that I don’t think like you
I don’t wait in line
Because there is nothing that I need

What you don’t understand
Is that I’m not turned on like you
I’m not a thrill seeker
Because I don’t crave speed

What you don’t understand
Is that I’m not impressed
I don’t have to prove my manhood
Because I already planted that seed

What you don’t understand
Is that I don’t keep up with you
I don’t care anymore
Because I am not full of greed

What you don’t understand
Is that you cannot control me
I made you angry
Because we never agreed

What you don’t understand
Is that I don’t live in your world
I’m not trendy
Because all I do is lead

What you don’t understand
Is that you cannot reach me
I am not vulnerable
Because I will never bleed

What you don't understand
Is why I won’t laugh
I am not fooled
Because you are so full of need

What you don’t understand
Is that it will never work
I will not be compromised
Because your plan will never succeed

What you don’t understand
Is that I seek the truth
I reject what you stipulate
Because I don’t eat what you feed

What you don’t understand
Is that you will never know
I don’t have to explain
Because I have my own creed

What you don’t understand
Is that I will soon be gone
I only warn you
Because I want you to take heed

What you don’t understand
Is that I don’t have to run
I will never follow
Because I will always precede

What you don’t understand
Is that you will never understand
I will prompt questions
Because I will always mislead

What you don’t understand
Is that your time is short
You will soon wilt
Because freedom will **** a *****



All Rights Reserved. Copyright 2011. Mark Lecuona