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 Jul 2013 KS
Jay
Him
 Jul 2013 KS
Jay
Him
I'm so hell bent on fixing him
When I haven't even fixed myself
Fixated on a boy who wants to get inside me
It hurts because he doesn't even seem to like me
He's pretty much my Novacaine
I mean the way he affects my brain
I'm all doped up on his ******* lies
Bet I couldn't get away from him even if I tried
But it's not like I've made an attempt
Some other girl owns his heart and I'm paying that ***** rent
At the same time it could be a hallucination
After all, he is my drug and I'm not to keen on imagination
He's gotta have a good enough reason
For why his feelings change with the seasons
Maybe I'm just driving myself crazy,
But as soon as we got close enough he left me and maybe,
That just means he's afraid and needs someone to save him
Or I'm making up ****** excuses so I can have a reason to crave him
Without feeling like a little kid running after someone like her dad
Someone who leaves me alone wondering and wanting what we had
The only peace I recieve is hiding beneath these tears and sheets
Because finding peace in a person just means it hurts more when they inevitably leave
But why do I care so much
I've always given too many *****
And a while back I promised myself I'd stop
Because I'm afraid of falling and life has too many unseen drops
Kind of like a rollercoaster but you can't see it when you get to the highest point
And on the way down you scream so loud you lose your voice
Then you don't know how or who to ask if you have the right to be ornary
Because he ignores you all day, then night comes and he's *****
Well ****, I guess since I live down the street
I'm supposed to come easy like a nicely cooked piece of meat
In a restaurant for guys like you
But rather than take me on a date you'd have me shoo
I mean I guess I could leave you alone and go away
But then I'd just think about you all day
And wonder why you haven't called or texted
When I know for **** sure you have your phone but everyone says don't stress it
I dont know man
I've fallen so hard it's a struggle to stand
I guess I just refuse to see him for who he really is
A sheltered cold-hearted killer of girls who happen to like him
I'm not sure where this came from, it was originally supposed to be about something else but turned into this.. I guess it feels good to finally let it all out.
 Jun 2013 KS
Anais Nin
"Why one writes is a question I can never answer easily, having so often asked it of myself. I believe one writes because one has to create a world in which one can live. I could not live in any of the worlds offered to me – the world of my parents, the world of war, the world of politics. I had to create a world of my own, like a climate, a country, an atmosphere in which I could breathe, reign, and recreate myself when destroyed by living. That, I believe, is the reason for every work of art.
...
"We also write to heighten our own awareness of life. We write to lure and enchant and console others. We write to serenade our lovers. We write to taste life twice, in the moment and in retrospection. We write, like Proust, to render all of it eternal, and to persuade ourselves that it is eternal. We write to be able to transcend our life, to reach beyond it. We write to teach ourselves to speak with others, to record the journey into the labyrinth. We write to expand our world when we feel strangled, or constricted, or lonely … When I don’t write, feel my world shrinking. I feel I am in prison. I feel I lose my fire and my color. It should be a necessity, as the sea needs to heave, and I call it breathing."
('The New Woman', 1974)
 Jun 2013 KS
tread
the nail
 Jun 2013 KS
tread
no one will ever
be as desperately
in love with me as
I am with them.
 Jun 2013 KS
David
If there ever was a fatal tragedy in my life it is this,
I have become a master in the art of hatred,
And I never want to hate anyone ever again
 Jun 2013 KS
David
Reality is a pretty rude guy,
Sometimes he'll wake you up at 3 a.m.,
And make you drive to strange places you never even heard of
 Jun 2013 KS
tread
perhaps we all want
what we don't have-
I, for example, despite
the frayed nerves of
anxiety defeated to
depression and beaten
to a cynic- am in love
with optimism. will still
kiss those shiny pictures
sun day dust rays with
taste. you- the stability,
the happy, the I-would-
live-forever--- revel in
the aesthetic of the dark.
the pain. the other side
of beauty and the synonym
of 'shattered.' all sadness
is another form of love.
 Jun 2013 KS
Emma
I had my heart broken
By a boy who likes to pretend
That he never liked me
-- except my heart didn't really break,
because it was never his.

It was more like I was lonely, and he was there
so I let him hold me and, he let me hold him
-- and explained to others that
"this is my way of showing I care, but I don't really, truly care,
I don't love her"
"I don't have feelings for you" --
he told me after he had picked up the phone
this girl called (maybe another me)
I just said I didn't care and stared at the ugliest leaf I've ever seen

So I didn't really have my heart broken
But it's easier to say I did
and more exciting, tragic
more romantic to say I did
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