Tell me,
do you tire yet
of yellow roses
littering your wall;
hanging upside down,
and weeping their color
unto your bedroom floor
as they fade to match
the beige wall paper
they are tied to.
Paint one red
with passionate love.
let it be the shocking difference
in a swollen sea
of normalcy,
and long forgotten friends.
When its color fades
I promise to you
it will not go beige
to blend into its surroundings,
fading from your sight.
It will remain dark red
like wine, a reminder
of those heady moments
and happy nights,
where joy and laughter
flowed down the street
from interlocking fingers
moving in step
to one conjoined beat.
Hang that flower
in the middle
so it may proclaim
“I have stolen her heart,
and given her mine”.
Don’t settle now for yellow roses;
reach out and paint
a rose deep red.

cough
like you could evict
the bitter thickness
of failure from your lungs
purge the fallacies you're pounded with
the shame
of cheap whiskey
and the voicemails you've saved
just to remind yourself
that you ruined things
punishment
because it feels righteous
when it comes from within
cough
and when your lungs settle
the heaviness remains
so take another desperate drag
because perhaps
this will finally be your last

there are a lot of things
that are missing from my life
many of them
left badly
like a mother
brothers and sisters
and Daniel...

...i don't have words
to describe you,
Dan.
and i cannot
even write a poem
saying that you died
because to me
you haven't
some little part of me believes
that you are still here somewhere
and that is what keeps me
from breaking into little shards
that cut everything
they touch
you are somewhere
on your red motorcycle
with your bone-crushing hugs
still drinking and doing drugs
and smiling, smiling, smiling
even though
they say that is what killed you
i don't mind the ****.
i really don't.
i liked your heart
too much
to believe
you were evil.
you weren't.
and despite what some might say
i think you are in heaven
if only for the reason you were sent
to prison
ask jesus
to hug you for me, Dan
jesus knows
a righteous man.