Kelly

Kelly Feb 2022

doormat.

i've spent far too long
              compromising my sense of self
grating my back against the broken shards of angry takers

i'm giving my best to the wrong set
               cracking my chest over and over
and before the breach heals
                 i hand the chisel
                         to a new set of hands
unrelenting and unforgiving

                                  i should still remain a light
                                  i should still remain in love

it's all i know how to be
                            all i can see
is the very best of people
                            even if they're mean

there's no glory in this test
i'm just rolling stones up unrelenting hills

                                        hoping for the best

the world is the most cruel to the most kind hearts

Kelly Feb 2022

nightmares.

dreamt I got to say all the things I felt to the people who made me feel them

and it didn’t make a f*cking difference

selfish people give selfish love

Kelly Feb 2022

worth.

I’ll ******* better than you’ve ever been ******

But mostly,
I’ll love you better than you’ve ever been loved

I do not know how to love slowly

Kelly Feb 2022

truth.

when you cut your hair, you cut your kindness too

now I don’t even recognize you

all I ever wanted

Kelly Feb 2022

myself.

i wake up each morning with myself
i fall asleep every night
with myself
I hold myself when I'm sad
and hurt myself when
i'm angry
i wipe my tears through the difficulties
and berate myself through
my failures
i love everything i hate about myself
and hate everything i love
about myself.

i'd leave me if i could, i wouldn't want to be anybody else

Kelly Feb 2022

liar.

I wish when you said you loved me
you didn’t have your fingers crossed

Kelly Feb 2022

ouch.

i was told i need to let peoples' actions prove their words,
while i've been using their words to justify their actions.

will i ever learn