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Kelly Sep 2021
you don't love me anymore?

say it with your chest.
Kelly Sep 2021
i have to re root into the ground
pay attention to my surroundings
breathe deeply
deliberately
draw myself back to me

because you
keep pulling me inward
replaying in my mind
the worst kind
of deviant torture

and the worst part is
i absolutely enjoy it.
repeatrepeatrepeat.
Kelly Sep 2021
without work i feel purposeless
without direction i feel aimless
without persistance i feel useless
without motivation I feel hopeless

but even with all i still feel like less.
who am i and where the **** am i going
Kelly Sep 2021
I've already thought of the worst things I could do to you
cyclically
incessantly

a game of control and nothing more

yet it hadn't crossed me to consider
the worst things you could do to me

until i was met unmoving with your heat
and I retreated

                 how uncharacteristic.

                                              ­                         how exciting.
challenge my control.
Kelly Sep 2021
i've finally learned how to tighten my throat

and still let the air go
Kelly Sep 2021
the moment the air starts to bite
with the shrillness of fall
my chest fills with light
and my thoughts

circle cyclically
over
and
over
of only your body

pressing me against the wall
and the pressure of your hips
slipping
and fitting
so effortlessly
into the crevices
of me

and I'd die
to know that feeling
you. and. me.
Kelly Sep 2021
Access is wonderful, isn’t it
To somebody who’s never had it

So have fun with a better version
Of the things I have to work so hard to be

Because you have access to the things
That don’t come easy for me
Not Without weight in my screams
And the skin of my teeth

Because famous friends
And opportunity
Were never given to me

So I’ll kindly be lesser
Work harder
Cry often
And stick a sock in whatever stings the surface of my skin
Or the pits of my stomach

Because I’m still the ******* villain
im just a knock off
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