It's always been a dream.
We started dieing the day we where born
And 2012 no one actually survived.
We think we've been living in heaven but the reality was hell
And both are now satisfied it's a place called purgatory.
An illusion.
You where never mine to lose...
She hates me now
and that's my hell
I'm an ignorant fool who pretended this was heaven
I never noticed my happiness...was sharp little knives of gloating and insult to you.
It pains me to have to do what I must do....
But sometimes setting the world right takes sacrifice

You and I
Throughout the summer, in the water,
We were able to float into something so oblivious.
And, just like that, it disappeared.

Yet we stay and are seemingly stronger than ever.
You and me
Like the way it has been, but still want more.
Knowledge about everything.

Some things deserve to be forgotten, but
It is impossible. You and
I can never go back to
The innocence of knowing nothing.

I'm afraid to admit
That I crave your lips to split me open
Spilling forth every unevoked feeling and emotion
Into an uncontainable flood
That I wouldn't know how to control

I'm afraid to admit
That your exposing eyes
Appear to know my secret
That i do not revel in the loneliness
And all too often my laughter is a lie

I'm afraid to admit
That with you I'd be willing to change
Together we would cross every line, then burn it to ash
And I would never look back
To see if anyone was watching me
For I would no longer care

You keep your heart away from me, you will not share.
I tell you secrets about me, but you just don't care.
I suspect the worst - that we are going to end in tears
and crash and burn. Yet I ignore my fears.

I watched you like a hawk and learnt your trick.
You lead me on but commiting just makes you sick.
I held you close for long enough, but I can't keep up the fight.
I've moved on.
There's a girl here in town who likes to share,
and she says she's free
tonight.

New Year's Eve,
Auld Lang Syne,
holding hands,
clock chimes twelve,
midnight kiss,
me and my bottle share the moment.
Sadness tugs,
memories flood,
goodbye year,
you were good,
and bad,
a paradox
like sweet and salty.
I lick my lips and taste the sugar,
the last grains sticking on my tongue.
The salt left makes me thirsty
and I have to drink it all away.

But there is more just around the corner.

Life is like popcorn,
with sudden bursts
and noise,
and rush
and excitement
and panic
and commotion
and surprises
until
silence.

Even if we can't choose what flavour we eat,
we get to hold the bucket.
Sit back and enjoy the movie.

The sky was beautiful today. It was clear, blue, and it reminded me of you. The air was crisp, and cool. The breeze danced against my skin, like children at play. The ground hummed beneath me. It almost had a sort of musical rhythm to it. The vibrations moved through my body, rattling my bones, down to my soul. It was time. It was time to pay for my crimes. The ropes that were secured around me crushed me. Engulfing my chest and lungs. They made it very difficult to breathe. But I was not afraid. I looked straight ahead, she was beautiful. Her sleek, black body raced against the tracks. She was headed straight towards me and fast. But I was not afraid. Suddenly I had tears of pure happiness streaming down my face. I was going to be free. Finally, I could let go of everything. I was ready. As she drew closer I stared into her. Thanking her for the deed she was about to do for me. I thought not of the good nor the bad things I had done. Only the overwhelming fact that I was about to be set free. The horn of the train blew, the sound piercing my ears. It was loud, and harsh. But I was not afraid. I found the sound almost sweet. I looked up, for a second I swear, I saw your face. I smiled ever so slightly.
And then the humming ceased, I no longer felt the constriction of my bondages, no noise. My entire being relaxed. I was in the quiet dark, yet I was not afraid.

As the sun rises
And the world comes alive
I can't but help breathe a sigh

Everything that was once dormant is now lively
Dark turns light
The cold embrace is slowly letting It's grip go
And the blood in my veins begins to flow

The darkness held me captive for too long
I lost my strength, I no longer feel strong.
But I will surely continue to go on

Laying still in my bed, I do not recognize who is laying there
Unrecognizable to my eyes, pulling a blank in my mind
Someone who once looked so familiar is now a stranger.

There’s a sadness where it once was happy
A pessimist that once was positive
A person that I used to enjoy.

The unaccepting stare is not welcoming
The negative thoughts are not comforting
The utter confusion is all but wanted.

Time goes by and no help is asked for
No changes occur
Nothing.

Finally change hits me, but still no better
For this confusion is now frustration
And this person is growing more distant.

Anger for having expectations
Anger for not caring anymore
Anger for giving up on them.

Falling off the bed, hitting the hard floor below
The only place to go is up
Until the floor falls from underneath me.

I try to stand, but don’t have the strength
I try to speak, but don’t have the courage
I try to listen, but don’t have the patience.

Finally at the bottom I look up
The eyes of the stranger are staring,
Peering inside of me.

Trying to make sense of it all
Understanding who this person is
Though difficult, I recognize them

Denial hits, I cannot accept it
I refuse to admit what I see
Because what I see is me.