I could have written
much better poems about you,
but you didn’t give me the chance.

your eyes are my favorite kind of blue.
baby, I just want to get to know you.

I'm sorry for realizing that I deserve
Someone who's face lights up when they see me
And who makes me believe that I'm worth that light
But mostly I'm sorry that that person isn't you
Because I really wanted it to be, I swear
But  you just aren't

I've noticed that my moods
Seem to be reminiscent of a pendulum
I can never experience intense happiness
Without a swift recoil in the opposite direction
Every moment of contentment
Every second of joy
Is matched with an equal measure of guilt
I begin to dread the very things
That bring me the most happiness
I begin to regulate my moods
Never letting them deviate too much
Trying my hardest to keep an equilibrium
Trying my best to steady the pendulum
Maybe I'm avoiding the worst of the pain
But at what cost?

you could have really loved me.
hell, you probably should have loved me.
but sometimes, the world is the
most cruel to those who least deserve it.

I hope you find great things
wherever you're going.
perhaps one day, I'll have
the courage to start looking.